Satan (2006)

This is one of the more bizarre movies I've ever seen, and that's saying quite a bit. As the blurb tells us, a group of rough-and-tumble college kids are out clubbing on Christmas Eve when they're persuaded to spend the holiday at the country house of a pretty girl; after getting ejected for a bar fight, they all pile into a car and off they go. Horror movie tropes tell us this isn't going to end well, of course, which is what keeps us at least mildly interested.I won't say much more about the plot, as it's fairly self-explanatory as you watch things unfold (although the writers/directors don't seem to worry too much about making things make sense to the viewers - there's no backstory or explanation about the strange, creepy fringe characters, but perhaps it's not necessary). Vincent Cassel is nearly unrecognizable as Joseph, the insane-right-off-the-bat gardener, especially compared to some of his more recent roles (I'm thinking his suave, sexy ballet master in "Black Swan," or his Russian gangster in "Eastern Promises," for example), and he really makes this movie all on his own. His strange obsession with Bart, one of the college boys, is quite disturbing to watch, especially once we find out what his true intentions really are. You can't help but perk up with interest, dread and morbid fascination every time Crazy Gardener Joseph is on screen.All in all: Not a great movie by any stretch, but passable as a creepy horror film, and Cassel is THE reason to see it. If you're already a fan of his, put this in your rental queue. If you're not, this role may repulse you enough to never want to watch him in anything else!

I can find nothing good about this movie aside from the fact that I did not turn it off. But I tend not to turn movies off simply on principal.The directing was straight from 8th grade video production class with Mr. Pumpitus, the dialogue was insulting at best, there were no likable characters (so much so that it was disappointing that none of them died), and the plot has been recycled so much that it is now full of holes. I suppose the one star is for something that I have never seen before: a woman giving a dog a hand job.Do not dignify this movie by paying to watch it.

Here we are.A group of horny idiots travel to a remote farmhouse in France because one of their friends, well, two of their friends want to screw some sexy chick.That's the premise.But what happens when they get there, and who they meet, is what inevitably saves this film from complete and utter toilet flop.Vincent Cassel is the film's savior as he steals every single scene he is in.There are a couple okay parts, as the film is pretty sexual, but a scene in an underground spring is strangely erotic - well, for me I guess – and it manages to show just how bizarre this family and community is.But, it's not bloody, or scary, and it is a couple steps away from being garbage. So if you get a chance, make sure to thank your lucky stars that Vincent Cassel decided to steer this film into cult status.

For once all the usually exaggerated glowing reviews printed on the DVD jacket are right. This movie and the performance by Vincent Cassel are fantastic, demented, outrageous.A group of multicultural ghetto kids (a black guy, an Asian guy, a French goof with his dog, an Arab chick and a French girl) end up taking a trip to the countryside after the goof gets bottle smashed on his head in a club over the girl. As they arrive at the girl's home on the country, they run into the goatherd who lives there and guards the ranch: Joseph (played or rather embodied by Cassel), who is a little odd and not just physically. He seems to get rather "friendly" with goof.The father of the girl was a dollmaker (of course) so you have the obligatory room filled with dolls, doll parts, dismembered dolls, weird looking dolls, and some strange doll-making instruments one of which is this large corkscrew-shaped knife, which you just know will make an appearance later in the movie.In the village nearby they meet some of the villagers that look all like they have some genetic defect: a typhoid-looking kid who seems rather close to girl, and bunch of creeps on motorcycles, and the hot village slut, whom Joseph tries to hook up with goof.Later our gang goes bathing in a grotto. Not long after Joseph shows up and again gets uncomfortably close to goof, the rest of the village people show up as well and harass our friends. Slut goes after goof, who's not in the mood. So instead, slut gets rather touchy with his dog!- in defiance, in my opinion, of the censors.Back in the home, the guys, who all think of themselves as super machos and irresistible, while being rather ugly fellows, try to hook up with the girls. Problem: there's 2 girls for the 3 guys. Black guy, who has his girlfriend calling him on the phone all the time, tries to go for Arab chick- both are Muslims. While Asian guy and goof try to sort out who gets girl. Solution: they both get her and there's some threesome action.While all this is taking place, something is going in Joseph's room. His overweight wife is about to give birth at 12 midnight. This of course is not just an ordinary birth. Joseph wants to prepare a special doll for his future kid.Eventually, people start dying as Joseph goes completely nuts. But wait, could this all have been a dream/hallucination of goof who got beat in the head? This movie is the funniest horror movie I've seen in a long time. It's truly hilarious, it's politically incorrect, it's outrageous- not with lame punchlines, but with realistic characters and dialogue. The kids are horny dumbasses who tease each other and talk the big talk while being nobodies, they listen to some outrageous french/Muslim rap. But they are also truly funny in their naiveté and innocence despite pretending to be tough-guy casanovas.The dialogue is very natural for the age and social group, I imagine and I can only go by the subtitles which are good but sometimes missing. There are times when someone is saying an awful lot of stuff that doesn't make it to the subtitles. Some scenes can be pretty disgusting, there's a lot of animal business involved: a dog fight, goats being kicked and hit by car, vultures eating some rodent, and slut manually abusing the dog. I could have done without all that. But it's tolerable and the rest of the movie and Josheph's outrageous hilarious behavior make up for any shortcomings or scenes that may go to far.This movie is very original and unique. No American filmmakers would come up with something remotely as wild as this movie. The cinematography and camera work are pretty good, too. One of the finer entries in the French horror genre and this one is not your dry and predictable 'woman takes revenge on killer' type french gore movie. The story here is so different and surprising, it's a must see for fans of creepy movies.