Creepshow 3 (2006)

Creeoshow 3 - Mini review - I watched this one on Netflix hoping it might be as good as the first Creepshow film...it wasn't. I only liked parts of Creepshow 2 this wasn't even as good as that. C3 somehow held my interest yet was pretty amateurish. There were a few decent actors and effects, most of the "actors" seemed like friends of the film crew that were given parts to save money. About the only segments worth seeing were...'The Call Girl' when the killer gets her comeuppance. 'The Professor's wife' was almost okay too....but it was way too gory for me. There were a few darkly funny scenes like what was with the bouquet when the bride threw it at the end. I give this film (probably direct to video) a 4 out of 10 and that is being generous.

What a complete waste of time. I was drawn to watching it only because I'm a big fan of the King/Romero "Creepshow"'s and even though I knew they had no part in this one, I figured that it would still have to be at the same calibre. Boy, was I wrong. I understand the concept of linking one story to the other, but this was so mixed up, that I found myself quickly trying to piece together the common thread of each story as I went along. The dumbest story of all of them was "Haunted Dog". I was waiting for an ending that would tie into the storyline, but it just fizzed out. Extremely weak. This is not to say that the movie didn't have it's elements of creepiness, which is why I rated it a "3" instead of "awful". But what ruins it is the pinch of comedy thrown in, like the music during "The Professor's Wife" when the hacked body was in the process of being hidden. If it had even an ounce of horror, it was quickly stripped of that honour when the music kicked in. I thought about watching the entire movie again, to see if I would find it easier the second time around. But honestly, I don't have another 90 minutes to waste. And even though I've watched "I" and "II" numerous times, I'll watch them again when I want another "Creepshow" fix. And if they're thinking about making a "IV" - please don't. Not unless Stephen and George have some say in it.

This is easily one of the worst movies I've ever seen to this point in my life. It isn't scary, it isn't funny, it isn't even trying to be good. It is an annoying film and to use the Creepshow name should insult fans of the original films. But anyways, here are the stories:Alice - Every time a man uses a new remote control, his daughter Alice turns into some slimy, pimply, oozing mess. Eventually she becomes a rabbit. Makes absolutely no sense and is horribly put together.The Radio - A man buys a radio from a homeless guy and starts to hear voices coming from it telling it to steal some money and kill anyone who threatens him. Better than 'Alice', but drags on way too much.Call Girl - A prostitute/serial killer gets more than she bargained for when she gets set to claim her next victim. This might be the best of the whole bunch, interesting twist.The Professor's Wife - Two former students murder the professor's fiancé thinking she is a robot. Silly and pointless, but is better than the first two.Haunted Dog - Some rude doctor gives a homeless man a hotdog that he picked off the ground. The homeless man chokes on it (I think) and dies. He then haunts the doctor until he dies. I got a few laughs from the miserable doctor played by Kris Allen, best actor in Creepshow III. Nothing special though.And that's it. Pretty bad movie overall. What annoys me is that throughout each story when something strange or illogical happens, the characters don't react. For example when the radio starts speaking to the character, he sort of shrugs it off and starts speaking back to it like it's something normal. None of the stories make a lot of sense, and add nothing to this nothing of a horror movie.2/10

I watch a lot of horror movies. I have seen a great many good, mediocre and bad ones. There are some bad ones that I actually quite like. But this was in a league of its own. The acting was so awful, it was like watching a bunch of porn actors who had decided to make a straight film. The writing was stunningly bad, like the script was put together by illiterate half wits raised by morons. The directing ... the camera work ... the effects .... all so bad, I had to get drunk to finish watching the movie. How did they even manage to get the money to make this? Why would anyone even WANT to make this? Why did I watch the whole thing? I don't know. Ugh.