The Maiden Heist (2009)

Roger (Christopher Walken) is a security guard in a museum who spends the day in front of the painting 'The Lonely Maiden' which he admires. He knows so much about the painting he can give an in depth talk about it to the museum visitors. When he is bored he daydreams of saving the museums from armed crooks which is a scene that the film opens with.The rest of the film is underwhelming and low key as Roger finds out that museum is selling its collection to a museum in Denmark. Two other security guards Charles (Morgan Freeman) and George (William H Macy) are just as upset at this decision as they too have a favourite object of beauty at the museum. Moving to Denmark is not a viable option.They decide to steal their favourite pieces and replace it with a copy but it is easier said than done. George who claims to be ex military and who also likes to be naked has the more difficult task when it comes to making the switch.The film is amiable but also forgettable and at times it is just unexciting before it becomes more tense at the latter part of the picture. It is more a light comedy than drama but I could not help thinking that all three leads have made better heist films before such as Walken in The Anderson Tapes and Macy in Welcome to Collinwood.

I have given it 2 for the three main leads as in who they are not how well they acted! The acting was horrendous their overacting was very good! They must have been out of their minds to sign up to it and if they weren't then what the flip were they thinking?!?! More to the point what were any of the cast thinking including the extras?!?! OK, so the extras were probably thinking something along the lines of 'I could do with the extra money' but the rest of them?!?! This film is predictable, tedious, unfunny, predictable, boring.... THERE IS NOTHING GOOD ABOUT THIS DREADFUL STRAIGHT-TO-VIDEO RUBBISH! From the blatantly obvious beginning, to the blatantly obvious middle, from the blatantly obvious middle to the end of the film, IT WAS ALL BLATANTLY OBVIOUS!

Okay, so on the cover it's advertised to look like a bad-ass crime movie, it's a crime comedy drama, it's pretty cool though, the men doing the heists aren't criminals, they're just regular old guys who love their job so much they're willing to stop a painting from being re- located.It's pretty good, the acting is good, the characters are well developed, it's entertaining to all ages, it's filmed okay, and it's pacing is pretty good.Defiantly recommended, no alcohol needed, but you know alcohol won't hurt, it's got a decent soundtrack, and some nice moments, especially the moments involving art.

Roger is a security guard who is obsessed by the painting 'The Lonely Maiden' to such an extent that he knows more about it than the museum guides and even fantasises about preventing armed robbers from stealing it. Then one day he learns that the museum has sold it and it is soon to be shipped to Denmark along with every other item in that particular gallery. Roger soon learns that he isn't the only security guard about to lose a beloved work of art; Charles is obsessed with another painting and George likes a nude sculpture so much that he likes to pose alongside it when he thinks he is alone at night! Together they hatch a plan to steal the three works; it won't be easy though; they will have to get three near perfect copies and find a way to switch them during the transfer.This film might not be a classic but it is pretty funny; this is helped by having three genuine stars; Christopher Walken, Morgan Freeman and William H. Macy; playing the three leads Roger, Charles and George respectively. They all perform well as does Marcia Gay Harden who plays Roger's wife. As one might expect it is far-fetched but that doesn't matter as is has plenty of laugh out loud moments… not all involving a naked William H. Macy! When the robbery occurs it is moderately exciting although not as exciting as the imagined robbery attempt we see in the opening scene. There is little too offend here, so long as you don't mind seeing a man's bare backside; there was one rather muffled obscenity; certainly less than most films of a similar raring these days. Overall I'd recommend this is you want an entertaining family movie and don't expect too much depth.