Avengers Grimm (2015)

A real snooze fest!Wanted to root for the heroes but they just act like royal idiots.Snow White is just a privileged little brat that I wanted to slap myself.Only Red gives a little life to the movie probably because she is not a royal. This movie manages only one thing correctly: to show that Royals are privileged only because they are Royals not because of any intelligence on their parts.

This film is a very, very, very poor attempt to capitalize upon some of the ideas behind Once Upon A Time. It fails miserably. The acting is comically bad. I have quite literally viewed high school productions of superior quality. Casper Van Dien as Rumpelstiltskin is awful. How awful? Jay North from the old Dennis the Menace television series is Olivier in comparison. And Van Dien was the high point. The plot holes are large enough to sail the 7th Fleet through. It was boring and disjointed. It was painful to watch. A root canal without anesthesia would have been preferable. I would rather listen to Rosanne Barr sing the national anthem on loop. Watching paint dry is more exciting and a better use of your time. If you are considering buying it on media, burn the money instead - at least that will light the room for a few seconds.

This movie was on my media server, and on a quiet night with not much going on I was intrigued by the title as I scrolled through the available options. So the opening credits roll and I see Asylum, and already know its going to be bad...and the movie starts and what follows is some of the worst acting I've seen on screen, hell even the porn stars from the Bang Bros flicks have a better method. What made me turn off the screen and call it a night was seeing the poorly executed CGI...it looked like it had been executed with a Pentium 1. I know it's supposed to be a parody of a blockbuster but these producers weren't even making an attempt, it was simply poor on every measurable scale. Fifteen minutes into this POS I switched off my TV and decided to call it a night, nothing I watched immediately after this garbage would salvage my evening.

This movie has a lot of problems. There are moments of truly terrible acting. Some of the lines are extremely poorly written. There are continuity issues (especially glaring "how did they run off and suddenly get to a completely different location in a split second?" ones.) The character motivations and choices are some so illogical, and so bad, that they make no sense, some of the characters are ill defined, and the progression is sometimes so so, sometimes obvious, and even sometimes just bad. And all this, this gigantic pile of weird- bad, the movie isn't terrible, not actually. The name choice doesn't help. It's a terrible choice for a name for this movie, other options, pretty much any other option, would have been better. It sounds like it'd be a comedy-style-version of avengers, but it's not. It has nothing to do with Marvel at all! The core concept though, it's really not bad. This is a movie that has moments of true B movie hilaribad and the occasional moments of "oh my gods this would be awesome if it wasn't bad". If you like B movies, and are a forgiving personality who can laugh at the parts that don't add up, this is a diamond in the rough.