Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies (2012)

A good pseudo-history is one that can squeeze into the known facts of history. This one pretends it does. The film opens in 1818 with young Abe having to shoot his own zombie parents. It then jumps to 1865 with news of a zombie infestation at Fort Pulaski. Abe (Kent Igleheart), while searching for the words for his Gettysburg dedication, leads a group of secret service men to the zombie infested fort. At this point the film becomes similar to "Dawn of the Dead" with the fort replacing the shopping mall.While here Lincoln meets Stonewall Jackson, poorly portrayed by Don McGraw in a cheap comically fake beard. The blood splatter was good and fell on the camera, although those scenes tended to have the color washed out and the blood was unrealistic. In one scene Lincoln is killing a bevy of zombies by swinging his reaper, although the zombies appear to be computer generated. Was that the prostitute using a hoe to kill zombies? Nice touch.This is a low budget production filmed on location in Savannah Georgia. 6 stars on the Asylum scaleNo f-bombs, sex, or nudity.

LOLWTF. How do these movies get funding?I was curious about what high, and completely insane producer paid for this rubbish but Box Office Mojo has no record of this film. Did this waste-of-everything get the green-light as a joke that maybe went too far? Was it even supposed to be released publicly? Was this a Production Co's Staff Christmas Party gag video making fun of the other more esteemed "Lincoln" production being shot elsewhere in the tmz that week? Were the producer's playing beer-pong one night and the guy who lost had to fund this movie? Or, maybe when this was pitched to them, the producers believed they were funding Abraham Lincoln:Vampire Hunter? Or Lincoln with Daniel Day Lewis? Well, I guess Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies was straight to video, but even then…who paid for the DVD replication? Do you know how many homeless and brilliant directors living on Hollywood Blvd that money could have fed for a month?I borrowed my DVD copy from the library, and I'm returning my library membership with the movie!99% of the IMDb members could have done a better job with 1/2 the funding this movie got. Was this like an 8th grade school project made with a donated iPhone (at least the aspect ratio is good-ish)? Maybe they went over budget on the fake blood, there sure is a lot of it (blood, not budget) and had to cut corners to finish the last 10 days of shooting with $136 and a Wal-mart gift card (for fake blood).I think Carmel-by-the-Sea, California's Friday Night Seniors Mystery Theater Dinner Night at the Greener Pastures Retirement Village could have done a better job acting this horrible script. Did I manage to insult everyone yet? Is Clint Eastwood still mayor in Carmel? Sorry, I'm not focusing. This is what happens when I see horrible, awful, no good, very bad movies. My 2 rating is too high, now that I think of it.The director, Richard Schtinkman, oops, Schenkman, dude don't quite your day job. Unless this is your day job and only income. Uhh, just checked out your resume, sorry bud. I guess everyone needs to make a living. Gotta love Hollywood! Hey, give your sound guy a kick in the pants, the location sound sucks! I understand you couldn't mic everyone in the only blocked shot (a static wide shot) you let role for entire scene(s), but…awe never mind. Worst. Movie. Ever.Can you imagine, some poor old sap is going to be testing out the new movie-on-demand service at Greener Pastures Retirement Village hoping to watch Spielberg's Lincoln and ends up getting Abraham Lincoln vs Zombies. Heh! Classic!Oh, BTW, I know Zombies (I got a few chained up in the basement...well I think they're zombies anyway) and Zombies don't stop and think and contemplate what people are telling them. Like seriously, you actually thought that would work in your script?Zombies are remorseless, brain eating machines with no feeling! Hello? Walking Dead, Night of the Living Dead, et al. Argh, if George A. Romero were here right now it would not be fun, let me tell you (if you could see me, you'd notice I'm shaking my fist in the air at you people).

I bought this on a double feature DVD along with "Nazi's at the Center of the Earth", and although without question "Abraham Lincoln vs. Zombies is one of the worst DVDs in my collection, it is "Oscar" material compared to "Nazi's at the Center of the Earth". The Lincoln character decapitating zombies, along with a couple somewhat entertaining moments, the film at least tries to tell some kind of story, no matter how ridiculous. Nazi's on the other hand has no redeeming qualities. The fact that Bill Oberest actually delivers an interesting Abraham Lincoln character helps drag this into cream of the crap territory. I've seen worse for sure. - MERK

This was one of the first recommendations I got from the Cinema Snob website based on his review of the film and his interview with Bill Oberst Jr. I wasn't expecting much since its an asylum film, but I honestly enjoyed it. I found myself drawn to some of the characters being portrayed and Bill Oberst did an excellent job as Abraham Lincoln and its a completely serviceable zombie film. Of course it has its problems. The CGI effects are incredibly cheap looking (duh, its The Asylum, get over it) and the plot is fairly simplistic. Its basically a standard zombie film which includes historical figures. If you can overlook that, then you should be able to enjoy the film without much difficulty.