Rhinestone (1984)

While viewing Rhinestone there were 2 specific things that I instantly learnt about Stallone. One - He can't act. And, Two - He can't sing.Well, actually I know these 2 very obvious things about Stallone, already. (I mean, who doesn't?) - Rhinestone only confirmed them.Rhinestone is quite deservedly listed as one of the 100 Worst Movies ever made. After having to endure acres, upon acres, of the most unfunny dialogue imaginable, it's clear to see the reason why.Apparently, Stallone, who had a special "control" clause in his contract, ordered so many changes to the original screenplay (which, of course, allowed him to be in every possible scene), that he ran into all sorts of nasty conflicts with both the Screenwriter, Phil Robinson, and Directer, Bob Clark. Things got so bad that Clark refused to ever work with Stallone again.Rhinestone's story is basically simple and dumb - Or - Should I just say "simply dumb"? Jake Farris, an aspiring Country singer in NYC (played by Dolly Parton), makes a bet with her sleazoid boss, Freddy, that she can teach any old nobody to be a singer. And the nobody that Jake picks out as her "trainee" is a real nobody, indeed, named Nick Martinelli, a thoroughly obnoxious nobody NYC cabdriver.I must say that when it came to playing a thoroughly obnoxious nobody cabdriver, Stallone was, for once, perfectly cast.As I understand it - Stallone, himself, publicly admitted that Rhinestone was a mistake, being the one film that he regretted ever making. Well, I'm tellin' ya - Stallone isn't the only one who regrets that he made this film - I'm another one, for sure.

I will start off with the good things. Rhinestone is for me not Stallone's worst film, that dishonour goes to Stop! Or My Mom Will Shoot, and it is not Bob Clark's worst either, look at the Baby Geniuses movies, both of those make Rhinestone look like Citizen Kane. And I personally liked the music and the scene in the funeral home is hilarious. However, Sly and Dolly Parton have little or no chemistry here, and while Parton brings some vigour Stallone is only so-so. As for his singing, while nothing extraordinary it was actually passable. What I did not like about Rhinestone though was its poor direction, slack pacing, predictable story and awful script, while the cinematography and such are nothing to rave about either. Overall, it isn't the worst film of all time or anything but it should have been much better than it was. 4/10 Bethany Cox

This film is definitely a goof ball but that is what it set out to be. It's totally farcical & wonderful. Favourite scenes include Steven Apostle Peck who plays Sly's dad. The first is when we meet Peck's character in the organ room & the second is the hilarious scene around the dinner table. I bust a gut watching that scene. So funny. One important thing I've learned in studying film is that there is a difference between a film you love & a great film. They can be one in the same, as is the case with a film such as The Godfather Part II. This is an masterfully made film that I enjoyed. Or they can be separate. For instance, I recognize that Slumdog Millionaire is a well made film, I just didn't like it. I didn't connect with it. I didn't care what happened. And on the converse, I recognize that Rhinestone isn't really that great a film but I really enjoyed it. I connected with the characters, it made me laugh & I generally found pleasure in it. So I rate it 10/10 for enjoyment.Love to Steven Peck

I feel I should apologise for really liking this movie. I have seen it several times on TV, and finally bought the DVD. It has several laugh out loud moments, and of course, the story is corny and has a happy ending - nothing to apologise for there as far as I can tell. It was a vehicle for Dolly and Sly, and I thought he came out of it really well. Dolly was cute, and sang beautifully as ever, and still managed to breathe, although to be honest, no-one has a waist that small and lives. I really loved Dolly in the pre-plastic days when her face and her voice seemed natural and free. Sylvester was incredibly funny as the manic taxi driver turned singer, and his bod was pure pleasure! So...something for everyone in the eye candy department, some good music, laughs, happy ending - what's wrong with that? When you've seen a movie several times and it still makes you laugh out loud - Sly singing in the horrible suit - it's got something going for it. A feel good film.