Virtual Girl (1998)

If you like fake boobs, special effects that were cruddy in 1998 and practically look like cave paintings today, the worst episodes of shows like Tales From The Darkside and The Hitchhiker, being bored out of your skull and seeing a man embarrass himself as a writer, director and actor…Virtual Girl is your dream movie. If what you enjoy are motion pictures that don't make you want to wrap your belt around your neck and do an impression of David Carradine…keep your eyes and ears away from this base concoction.John Lewis (Max Dixon) is a computer programmer who's getting no love at work and no love at home from his wife (Miche Rene Straub). His dickish boss assigns John to work out the bugs in a new game called Virtual Girl. Players strap themselves into a sensor suit, enter the artificial reality of the game and they get to have sex with a cyber-hooker named Virtuality (Charlie Curtis). The program appears to have a mind of its own and Virtuality becomes so obsessed with John that she extends her influence into the real world until John is forced to confront his digital fatal attraction. There's also the completely pointless appearance of the real world model of Virtuality and a twist that is so groan-inducingly stupid even M. Night Shyamalan would say "Man, that was really dumb".Now, there are a lot of scenes in this film were women are topless, particularly the physically impressive Charlie Curtis. That tells me the folks who made Virtual Girl weren't total nincompoops. They can probably dress and feed themselves and know to have exact change for the bus. But those topless women are the only thing of any value in this movie, only two of them are attractive and some of the boobs are quite fake-looking. The writing and direction on display here barely qualifies as professional, the acting is porn-level bad and the computer effects look like the product of a dateless 17 year old with an Amiga and nothing to do over the weekend.If this thing were 25 minutes long and on HBO so all the nudity was intact, this would have been perfect for frustrated adolescents to try and watch on scramblevision. At 84 minutes long, it's like watching your grandma die. From continuing to employ establishing shots for locations the audience has seen 5 or 6 times already to a soundtrack that defied space and time to travel back to 1998 from the 2000 Gene Roddenberry TV show Andromeda, Virtual Girl is a cornucopia of weak-ass movie making.Let me put it this way. There's only one thing you can use this film for and you'd be better off using the women's underwear section from a 1956 Sears catalog. At least you'd be less ashamed when you finished.

Caught this one on a trip to Florida in 2000 to see the Jets game. It was my first night on the trip, and I was beat so I headed back to the hotel from the bars around 1 AM. This was showing on whatever the heck station in Fort Lauderdale. The plot is decent - you dont often get that in soft core stuff. The main characters are bearable to look at and listen to. Even Charlie Curtis showed some ability to act. It could've been done better perhaps. The computer-ish graphics, while part of the plot, serve to cheese up things a bit. In summary, yeah I'd nail Virtuosity. Er, I mean decent, catch it if you can.

Yes, this had me expecting a lot, but alas, it didnt deliver a lot.The girl(s) are great, especially the computerised method of changing from one girl into another seamlessly - phew !,really great - but apart from this aspect, the film really was lacking. It is a reasonable story, though a few along similar lines are around now without the nudity.Excellent photography, as usual, with the girls.

Ya know, when it comes to cheap soft porn flicks, this one isn't half bad. It had a plot! (GASP!) Actually, the movie isn't half bad in respect to the storyline. As for the acting, one could ask for a lot better performances from the unknowns that make up the cast. Just to comment on the main character, Virtuality, I think her name is, the actress who plays her is very beautiful, and if I wasn't a monk, I would marry her. Ok, well, I'm not a monk, but I still won't marry her. Anyhow...I wouldn't recommend setting your alarm so you can wake up at 3:00 A.M. to see this movie, but if you catch it on, you might get into the story...maybe I'm crazy...who knows.