Born to Ride (2011)

Casper Van Dien gets reunited with his fellow Starship Trooper Patrick Muldoon in Born To Ride. Too bad they didn't get anything half as good as that film. Maybe they made a mistake killing off Muldoon in Starship Troopers or these two could have done sequels together.Which would have been better than Born To Ride. This film is like some kind of cinematic joke that's being perpetrated on the audience. I won't go into the plot except that these two biker dudes got stuck with a tape showing a Senator taking a really big bribe for insider information. And the guy doing the bribing wants it back and he sends a pair of goofballs to get it.It starts out quite serious and then for no reason veers off into comedy and the end, well it's almost surreal. Did anybody have an idea of what they exactly wanted to inflict on the movie going public?Casper you and Pat work something out like Pat's twin brother becomes a citizen and joins Rico's Rangers in another Starship Trooper sequel for your next project.

This is a worthless movie. The 'story' is so feeble that you can't even consider the plot half baked. The only redeeming thing about the movie is Branscombe Richmonds performance. One gets the impression that the writer was watching Easy Rider and thought himself...'I can do that'. I knew this movie was going to be a real stinker.... but got it anyway. That is two dollars I will never get back. There a few major holes in the so called story....1) the girl hitch hiker simply vanishes in the middle the night in the desert, 2) they rebuild and modify a vintage motorcycle to show bike quality in three days, 3)they never show how they defeated the two hoods that were chasing them, 4)there is no real ending to the movie, 5) the main character is acting in a movie at the end, this makes no sense and does not even remotely fit into the plot in anyway. Whats even worse about this movie is that I took the time to write this review.

Incoherent plot, horrible editing.,but a bit of humor, some great Harley sounds and Theresa Russell are the only redeeming factors. The movie actually started out looking good. The two good guys stop to help a guy being attacked and they call for help and get him to the hospital. Then we see evil bad guys buying off a senator. Some sleaze bags video recorded the buy off and tried to blackmail the senator. Two unsuspecting average bikers get drawn into the fray over the bad guys looking for the incriminating video. Sleaze bag opens door, sees bad guys pounding his brother, runs to a biker bar but doesn't tell them he needs help. DUH. Bad guys catch up to our heroes and hold them at gun point. The heroes escape but the movie doesn't tell us how they did it.The bad guys car has a flat, the temporary tire is put on then the car is seen driving with the full size tire, then the temporary is back on.The funniest part was when the truckers smash the bad guys car for driving like idiots.

Two bikers take off to go to Sturgis (which happens in August, though a newspaper says it is still Spring) and get involved in some sort of government chicanery.This comes to us from director James Fargo, best known for "Every Which Way But Loose" and reunites Casper Van Dien with a terrible beard and Patrick Muldoon from "Starship Troopers". This is the second film to do this in 2011 (the first is "Turbulent Skies") and the lesser of the two.Also here is William Forsythe as Jack Steele. He is so talented, I feel bad they put him in this film. And I am not sure what the point was. He comes off as menacing but his henchman are hapless dopes like the cop in "Smokey and the Bandit". So is this a comedy? An action film? What is it? Another reviewer called this film "beyond awful", and that is the sad truth. The plot seems to make sense, at least for a while, but then goes radically divergent from any sort of sense. Plots start and end at any given moment, people disappear without explanation... just when I thought I knew what was going on, I was more confused than before. And I was sober.Do yourself a favor and avoid this film. Maybe with a case of beer and a friend or two it is worth watching, but I found very little redeeming in it.