Jingle All the Way 2 (2014)

This was an utter load of garbage. Steps to enjoy this movie: 1) Drop you IQ by 100 points. 2) Swallow gasoline. 3) Strike Match 4) Swallow Match 5) Enjoy movie I do not know how some producers can be happy with this quality movie. I would suggest watching this movie never. How else can I describe this pile of dog turd? If there was only one movie left to watch on this planet, and it was this movie, I would not even consider it. I would consider tearing out my eyes with a blunt teaspoon, pouring molten lava in my ears and then maybe, just maybe would I turn this movie on. Larry the Cable Guy is in the Top 10 of worst actors to be born in the universe. If I stuck 2 googly eyes on a sack of horse manure, the performance would be better.

This film is nowhere near as funny as the original 1996 Jingle all the Way. The original was actually funny and had a good writer. Out of all the actors they chose for the sequel, they choose Larry the Cable Guy. Not that I have anything against Larry the Cable Guy but I just don't think he was well suited for the role.Larry is a divorced man and find out that he must get his daughter Noel a Harrison the Talking Teddy Bear toy for Christmas. However this is not as easy as it sounds because Noel's step-dad Victor has hired someone to buy all the Harrison the Talking Teddy Bears that exist. This lead to Larry and Victor getting trapped in the warehouse. They must team up to get out of there.I'm sorry but the script writer Stephen Mazur is a bad script writer and clearly does not match the humor of the original. They even tried to mimic the original Jingle All the Way cover art (sorta). This is a poor excuse for a sequel, and while they tried to get the success of the first film. they failed. It has a few cute moments but other then that...it's just bad.I give Jingle All the Way 2 a 1/10.

I think this movie was trying to fail. I felt like it wanted to make a Booster; instead of Turbo Man! No one wants to see Booster! What were you thinking WWE & Fox Studios!? Keep it, nearly the same as the original. 1996's Jingle All the Way is a personal childhood movie favorite of mine. My family and I, watched it, nearly every Christmas and the jokes never get old. My admiration stems almost entirely from nostalgia, but even as an adult it still delivers mindless family entertainment. This supposedly sequel movie, sadly couldn't do the same. This is shameless cash grab. The first one wasn't actually a masterpiece, but all the satire that was present in the first did get lost on this terrible execution of a sequel. Directed by Alex Zamm, the movie has little to do with the original film. None of the original stars, are in it. No Arnold Schwartzenegger, Sinbad or Phil Hartman. It didn't even had mediocre, Jake Lloyd to star in it. In their place, the movie had one man carrying the project, by the name of Larry the Cable Guy AKA Daniel Whitney, a once really popular, gimmick comedian. It's clear by this time, that his one-act redneck gimmick has gotten old and not a lot of people really care for him. It's also clear that the washed up comedian couldn't act, so the screenwriter, Stephen Mazur just written the part to fit in with his gimmick. Jingle All the Way 2 stars Larry as - get this - a redneck named Larry. He's a divorced father of a young girl, Noel (Kennedi Clements). His ex-wife (Kirsten Robek) recently remarried a rich guy, Victor (Brian Stepanek). Instead of working together, both fathers are competing for Noel's affection, hoping to one up the other, to show whom can be the best father to Noel. Both, see it in gathering up the hottest toy of the year, Harrison Bear for her. I was kinda disappointing, by this, because it's been done as hell. Lot of tiresome clichés in here. I don't know why the movie have to do the stepfather is evil, clichés, because I like the portrayal of the happily divorced family. I hate that Victor turn out into a jerk in the end. It didn't need to. I like most of the supporting cast here. Clements is cute and adorable, but she does seem a bit, over cheery for mundane stuff like ice fishing. Kinda unrealistic, there. I don't know, many children that love, doing that. She was a decent enough, child actor. WWE wrestler Santino Marella AKA Anthony Carelli shows up sporadically without silly Italian accent as Larry's sidekick, Claude. Unfortunately, his throwaway part doesn't afford him any opportunities to showcase his comedic chops. The humor is mostly a miss than hit to the funny bone. The jokes that Larry the Guy has written for the film weren't very clever, and didn't really have much of a good punchline. One of the big things, I like about the original film is how, Arnold's character from the first film gets more angry and desperate as the movie goes on, due to the time limit of it being Christmas Eve. In this film, Larry the Guy has plenty of time, to look for the toy, but he lazy out, most of the time. He doesn't work as hard as the Arnold Schwartzenegger's character from the last movie. Having the hunt spread out over multiple days was a mistake. I like the intense mad-dash search on Christmas Eve, better. Also, I found the plot, very unrealistic. We live in a world of computers. Why didn't he just order it online? It could have gotten it to them on time and Victor couldn't do anything about it. I really find, it hard to believe that a single person is not only able to gather all of the inventory of a single store, but that he is able to do it to every store in town before anyone else? This is a stretch in bound of beliefs, here. Yes, the original had some unrealistic moments, but it was a lot more entertaining and realistic than this movie. The things that Larry finds himself in a variety of ridiculous situations in his desperate attempts to win the bear, isn't as crazy as that of Arnold's character. I was really hoping for more. The PG rating kinda hurts, how far can, they can take the craziest concept to. The slapstick is kinda funny. I didn't mind watching Larry the Guy getting hurt. It's by far, the best highlight of the film. It really didn't capture the whole Black Friday insanity, like the first movie did. It's low-brow entertainment, trying to get the attention of blue collar Americans. It's a love letter to them. Rich people are made, out to be jerks, and blue collars part time workers like Larry as always good. I hate how Larry says he never ask for a hand-out, yet earlier in the film, he panhandling himself dresses up as a homeless person in order to get a Harrison Bear from the local shelter. Wow, lame. The movie tries to have this message of rampant commercialism that has come to overtake the holiday season. In my opinion, this straight to video sequel seems to be a prime example of a bad corporate entity of the holiday. Overall: As Christmas movies go, this has got to be near the bottom. It's nowhere near the classics. Only watch, if you're really bored or have your mind turn off.

WWE Studios has had an abnormally prolific year, getting one of their films in theaters (Oculus), resulting in respectable box office numbers, and churning out three direct-to-DVD efforts, all of which sequels or some sort of continuation of another preexisting entity. In just a little over two months, WWE Studios has released a prequel to the Leprechaun franchise, a sequel to See No Evil, and, perhaps the strangest release in their catalog thus far, a sequel to the Arnold Schwarzenegger vehicle Jingle All the Way starring Larry the Cable Guy. One takes a look at the DVD cover art for the film and regards it with a certain disdain, as they see a thrown together, and slightly disturbing image of Larry the Cable Guy and Kennedi Clements, before cringing and, likely, passing by it with no further comment or thought. I simply couldn't leave it alone.For starters, I always hear the complaint about some actors never leaving their comfort zone or sticking to being typecast in certain roles, like Michael Cera in the awkward schoolboy roles and Channing Tatum in the man-candy ones. However, home come few address Larry the Cable Guy's inability to be anyone besides his one-note joke character in films? He has found ways to appear in a Madea film, a sequel to The Rock's Tooth Fairy, and two Cars films, plus an abundance of short films, playing no one other than his redneck archetype and consistently showing how a cute idea descends into tedium if not properly carried out. My personal problem with Larry the Cable Guy is a newfound one, for I used to find him amusing, is the fact that he is a man entirely made out of a joke that has been stretched threadbare for years and it was a joke that wasn't worth more than momentary amusement.Larry the Cable Guy plays none other than a character named Larry in Jingle All the Way 2, a ne'er-do-well father, who is desperately trying to be his daughter's favorite male figure now that, following what we can see was a fairly mild divorce brewed from minor inconvenience, Victor (Brian Stepanek), a wealthy businessman, has now entered in her life as her stepfather. Larry's daughter Noel (Kennedi Clements) is anticipating Christmas a lot this year because, judging from her private letter to Santa Claus, she wants a stuffed teddy bear named Harrison, which happens to be the season's hottest toy. Upon discovering this, Larry makes it his mission to not only give Noel a memorable Christmas but to find a Harrison Talking Bear, which proves difficult once Victor realizes his plan and begins to buy out each store's stock of Harrison bears.The original Jingle All the Way was never a holiday favorite of mine, as it offput me with its materialistic mindset and massively contentious story given it's a Christmas film, but Jingle All the Way 2 finds ways to be even more offputting given its lack of any redeemable characters and ridiculously overblown story. As we constantly see Larry being beaten by Victor seconds after he acquired an entire store's lot of Harrison bears, we question why he doesn't just order the bear online or ask the store manager to reserve one for him. In addition, watching two grown men fight like children for ninety minutes does not make for a good film whatsoever. If we're not seeing Larry breathlessly race around and passive-aggressively speak with Victor, we must endure the same kind of jokes that Larry the Cable Guy has made a career out of making, only this time, set in the context of a Christmas film.Jingle All the Way 2 isn't frustratingly bad, because, if you sit down to watch it, you've already questioned "why?" numerous times, regarding the film's production, existence, and thought-process, but it completely avoids any and all likability when you watch the year's frothiest ending conclude such an awful picture before your very eyes. If there's one thing Jingle All the Way 2 has going for it, at least it's consistently bad and has an ending that effectively lives up to the standards the film has set for itself.Starring: Larry the Cable Guy, Brian Stepanek, Kennedi Clements, Santino Marella, and Kristen Robek. Directed by: Alex Zamm.