Derailed (2002)

Okay, I watched this movie just to see a motorcycle riding on top of a train, and I'm reviewing it only to say that J-C Van D did an impressive job of acting in the couple of scenes right after he loses his son. Other than that, the acting is second-rate, to be kind (and that includes the woman who plays his wife).I enjoy a movie mainly for plot and clever dialogue. This had none of that, but if action is your thing and acting is not important to you, you might enjoy the ride. The plot deals with biological weapons. Once again, the thugs' cronies have to be out of their minds to give their loyalty and trust. Does money really make you that stupid? These guys never worry that they will not be given the antidote to the germs.Typically, Van Damme is lured back into the spy business for an important job, and he is not convincing to his wife nor the audience why he "just has to." Everything else was just that typical as well.But...I stayed for the whole ride, and didn't end up angry over wasting 90 minutes of my life (but maybe that was just the mood I was in). I wouldn't recommend it to anyone but Van Damme fans, and all of them surely will have seen it.

The actress which play the thief is quite sexy and that's the best thing about this movie. "Derailed" is another clone of "Die hard " with Jean Claude Van Damme instead of Willis and the train instead of skyscraper. There were some good "Die hard" clones – "Under siege" and "Cliffhanger". "Derailed" feels here like a clone of clone of "Die hard" – "Under siege 2" (with a little bit of "Cassandra's crossing"). The problem is that "Under siege 2" was a watchable popcorn , while "Derailed " is a crime against humanity.The best way to describe "Derailed" is that you should imagine a really good action movie . Now throw to the garbage every element that makes a good action movie a pleasure to watch – quotable dialogue , humor , memorable hero and villains , breathtaking action scenes , decent story and good technical quality (music , editing and so on) . In the end you will have something like "Derailed".Special effects that probably were made by drunk amateurs . The acting so bad that Van Damme is the best actor in the movie . Editing that doesn't even deserves to be called poor. Action scenes that will make your head hurt . The scene with the motorcycle is one of the worst scenes ever made . You can't SEE ANYTHING . Some bad techno music . Bad dialogues. Dumb story.Van Damme had some decent movies in his career . This isn't one of them. I give it 1/10.

If you saw this movie and enjoyed it, I can only feel sorry for you. This review does include information pertaining to the plot because I want to point out obvious plot holes. So watch your step, here we go. The movie starts out with a burglary of a bio-weapons lab. Jean-Claude Van Damme plays, Kristoff, a spy-dad who gets the assignment to escort the thief played by Laura Harring on a slow train out of the country. The fight scenes are all poorly choreographed from a fight sequence in a theater with wire harnesses in blurred effects to armed soldiers that just stand in line waiting to be punched by the hero. About 13 to 16 minutes into this movie 90 percent of the special effects budget was spent. The rest was done using old toy models from the Godzilla movies.After horsing around with secondary characters the first plot hole shows up about 30 minutes into the movie. Mrs. Kristoff and kids show up on the train unexpected to wish dad a happy birthday. Even if Mrs. Kristoff knew the train he was going to be riding, how did she find his room? That's right, he had it switched when he got on board as a precaution. Now the "bad guys" show up and hijack the train. I guess you need an army to remove one person from a train heading down a track from point A to point B. In pure "evil genius" fashion the utterance of this man's name Mason Cole just sends shivers down everyone's spines. I was thinking, who? Yes, and Mr. Cole needs to hijack an entire train, with an army of men, and helicopter to retrieve just one person.After more secondary and unknown actors are killed. The bio-weapon, a fast-acting air-born virus is released on the train. Which leads us to plot hole number two. Any first year med student would tell you that if the virus is air-born it is floating off the train contaminating the country side as well. But as the vile breaks the evil Mason Cole says, "We can make a cure with the remainder.". Excuse me? Does he hold a degree in biotechnology? Sometimes cures are not always easy to come by and this is a bio-weapon, they make them to kill people not cure them.Some more pointless dialogging, shooting, and Mrs. Kristoff tending the sick people on the train, we have the infected Mr. Kristoff jump off the train on a motorcycle and Mason Cole is informed that Kristoff is no longer on the train. Kristoff catches up to the train and jumps back on unknown to all. Meanwhile Mason Cole finds out that Mrs. Kristoff and Mr. Kristoff are related and announces over the PA that he will kill his family unless he surrenders. This plot hole makes Mason Cole look very psychic.During hostage negotiations there is another train piloted by a drunk, right down to a bottle in his hand, on a collision course for their train. The wreck is terrible the two trains fly apart and yet somehow they continue down the tracks unabated. The men in the control room says, "It must have just clip the tail.". Not from what I saw. Both miniature trains flew off the tracks. Oh wait! That was the models not real trains. Now we come to the part where the hero disconnects the train from the engine. We see a clear gap between the two sections as they slow the train cars. But as the model train comes into view the gap is gone and the whole train proceeds across the bridge. There is absolutely no gaps in the model yet it continues to exist in the shots of the three men as they turn the handbrake.I don't expect Hitchcock or James Cameron quality from an action flick. However I do expect action which this movie didn't have. This was a serious low budget turkey that wasn't worth the time to view. It will put you to sleep with its lack of action.

Being a major Van Damme fanatic, I made the terrible mistake of purchasing this film before watching it. BAD MISTAKE! To put it simply, this movie sucks!!! It's basically a C-grade version of Under Siege 2 with Van Damme in place of Segal. The film must have been made on no budget and all the supporting cast seem like they've been plucked out of a high school drama class!!! Not even the fight scenes can save this film from sucking! You can blatantly tell Van Damme is in front of a blue screen in the really anti-climactic motor cycle scene and half the time you can tell the train is a model and was probably the director's own train set from childhood!!! This film should not be watched by anyone even if you think you're the biggest Van Damme fan ever.....trust me you'll be glad you didn't. On the plus side, every single Van Damme film since this one has been a major improvement especially "In Hell" and "Until Death".