Love Stinks (1999)

Oh no. No, no, no. I didn't just spend time watching this movie from beginning to end, did I? I was out, I was having a good time, I stopped by for a burger on the way home, then I flipped the lights on and turned on my TV just in time to catch the credits of this movie. This didn't actually catch my attention, did it? And I watched it, what, for pride? I just had to watch it all the way through, didn't I? Oh, I feel so ashamed. It's a common cliché to say "if I could give less than one star I would" but I look at my one star and I can't see what it's doing there. This would-be comedy of a guy who inexplicably gets together with a woman who inexplicably has an obsession to get married is an utter waste of time for any citizen of the world. Played by French Stewart and Bridgitte Wilson - neither of whom can act, I quickly discovered (and then they're still too good for this screenplay) - this couple is the kind of characters only invented as an excuse to, for some reason, tell a story that amounts to nothing. Rarely have I seen such unoriginal dead jokes and unfunny, miscalculated attempts at comedy. I guess I was baffled by the movie's complete nothingness. About the time our male main character realises he's together with an idiot and starts a kind of war of the roses with her, he doesn't seem to think about why he hooked up with her in the first place. Why did he? There's no answer! Who needs the questions! This movie just exists! It takes up space! Who can blame him, I guess, he's just a bad, hollow movie character attracted to another bad, hollow movie character.Contrary to belief, comedy requires comedic talent. If there's no talent involved, any comedy will implode into a strange, awkward and inexplicable waste of time. It's been a while since I happened to catch a movie that so well demonstrates this. From beginning to end the movie is pointless, incomprehensible and worthless. Or, let me put it like this, and I never thought I'd ever in a million years say this: Tyra Banks is way too good for this.

Frustration humour is a term me and a pal of mine use to describe comedic situations that rely on the protagonist constantly being put in awful situations (often, but not always, by their love interest). We began using the term in connection to "Green Acres" and "I Dream of Jeannie" many years ago. A recent film examples of this would be "Meet The Parents". If done properly, it can be funny ("You, Me and Dupree"). If the correct balance isn't struck, it's just frustrating and annoying ("License to Wed")."Love Stinks" pushes it about as far as it can but it's resolution leaves you feeling satisfied. Bridgitte Wilson and French Stewart are both fantastic in this film. I'm truly amazed Wilson hasn't become a bigger star. The film begins with Seth and Chelsea meeting and the chemistry is immediate. We all know that euphoric feeling of early infatuation and it's captured perfectly in this film. I felt myself falling for Chelsea. But as a relationship matures those feelings fade and reality sets in. Sometimes, it isn't pretty. This film is about one of those times and it's truly hilarious. I'm sure most of us has dated someone who turned out to be a little looney. It's always nice to be able to laugh about it later.

I have never commented on a film on IMDb, but felt obliged to register so I could post a comment and defend this film. I did it because I have to say that it's one of my personal favorites. I do admit that this was not made to be a masterpiece. It is a "guilty pleasure" type movie, as it is awfully silly, but has some extremely funny parts in it. There are two things the film has that make it special. First, once it gets going (which takes about 15 minutes), it has pretty much continuous hilarious jokes that are unique and well-written. Second, it has a great surprise ending that makes it memorable. So, again, sure it's silly and a bit cliché at times, but it isn't for the Oscars. It's for watching something funny on a Wednesday night. It is probably a bit more of a guy movie than a girl movie, but not by much. Both sides get it pretty well in this one. If you appreciate humor, you will most certainly laugh and possibly very hard. So, if you feel a bit frisky, give it a try...you may just find a new favorite guilty pleasure.

*Potential spoilers* Don't be fooled by the title of this movie. It's not about love in any way. It's about a woman who thinks she ought to get married and a guy who thinks he ought to have sex. When each of them fails to attain their projected goals, hell is unleashed. Reading the comments like 'women want to control men' and 'it's only the guy who is emotionally impotent' gives you an idea what this movie is about: the inability of its characters, the inability to love. Even when, in the end, the two come together and marry, it's not out of love but out of some manic drive to 'get it done'. Hence the title of the film makes about as much sense as if you'd call a film about people starving to death 'food sucks'.So for all you guys and gals out there who project their fears and inability to love on the other sex: Try loving first. A superfluous film, with irrelevant characters having irrelevant 'problems' and an insult to the very word. As if there weren't any real problems on this earth. Best to be missed.