Confessions from a Holiday Camp (1977)

Back in 1977 I informed my equally horny schoolmates that I was going to bus from our small town to the Big City of Christchurch to see a 'Confessions' movie. When I got back, I couldn't even remember what the women looked like to describe to the guys. That is because the movie was about as funny and/or arousing as afternoon tea with your maiden auntie. Your elderly, extremely unattractive maiden auntie, that is. The 'Confessions' movies were never top-of-the-line entertainment, but this (thankfully) final entry in the notoriously cheap, nasty smut-smeared franchise manages to be genuinely appalling, even when compared to the others. It was actually boring to me as a fourteen-year-old, and with so many naked bodies on screen, that took some doing. Nowadays 'Holiday Camp' makes a far better sociological artifact than it does a cinematic experience, and then only if you're prepared to plumb the depths.

sorry, haven't seen it but I doubt I will just because of the content and the prior reviews. But just tracking down a comment on youtube ... Caroline Ellis was "Joy" on the Bugaloos kids TV show, very popular in US early morning Saturday shows in the 70's... she was cute then ... guess she was tired of looking like she was only going to act in parts for the kiddie shows ... supposedly she has full nudity in this film, front and back, according to another. Kind of like Jessica Biel when she did that stupid photo shoot to get out of her contract on Seventh Heaven - but she got a good publicist that was able to keep it from ruining her career ... But that is probably STILL not worth a reason to rent this movie. Sorry about that. LOL.

Having failed dismally with their driving school, Sid Noggett ( Tony Booth ) and Timmy Lea ( Robin Askwith ) head off to Funfrall Holiday Camp, a paradise where the possibilities for sex are limitless. The only thing missing is the weather. But then their fun is stymied by the arrival of new manager Whitemonk ( John Junkin ), a former prison governor. He wants to impose militaristic discipline on the staff. Noggett proposes a beauty contest.The Lea family turn up en masse and begin causing trouble, in particular Dad ( Bill Maynard ) who gets involved in an ongoing dispute with the father of a cheeky kid ( Nicholas Owen, 'Tristan' from 'George & Mildred' ).Timmy's numerous sexual exploits become increasingly public, leading the manager to conclude there is a mad streaker on the loose.Against Sid's wishes, Rosie enters the beauty contest. But when the kid chucks a cream pie at a contestant, all hell breaks loose... I used to work in a holiday camp ( as a chef ) so know how accurate a lot of this film is. Some of the things I saw would make even Timmy blush! It is the usual slap and tickle, enlivened by guest appearances from John Junkin, Colin Crompton ( from 'The Wheeltappers & Shunters Social Club' ) and Lance Percival ( whose role of 'Lionel' seems to have been written for Kenneth Williams! ). The formula was looking a bit tired by this time; this entry closely resembles 'Holiday On The Buses', while the finale was obviously inspired by that of 'Carry On Girls' ( both 1973 ). Liz Fraser and Linda Hayden, both of whom featured in earlier 'Confessions' pictures, return as different characters. Sue Upton ( later to be one of Benny Hill's 'Angels' ) and Caroline Ellis are particularly good as a pair of giggling Brummie girls called 'Glad' and 'Reen'. Shame about Timmy's racist remarks to 'Blackbird' ( Nicola Blackman ) though. Top marks to the cast for throwing themselves into the piece with abandon. It could not have been easy being filmed in bikinis and swimming trunks in March. Funniest moment? Whitemonk complaining to Sid about the streaker, while behind him a naked Timmy thrashes about in a pool.'Confessions Of A Plumber's Mate' was planned next, but Columbia unexpectedly shut down film production in the U.K., and it went unmade, though Stanley A. Long cheekily put into production the not-dissimilar sounding 'Adventures Of A Plumber's Mate'. That too was the last of its line. British audiences were beginning to be more interested by American comedies such as 'National Lampoon's Animal House' and '10'. I hope no-one tries to revive 'Confessions'; like the 'Carry On' films, they were of their time. Naughty but nice!

This film really was pretty awful; some of the characters made me cringe! very poor acting, directing, etc., Could learn a thing or two from the 'Carry on' films. It was no better than any of the other 'Confessions'films; I only watched it to the end to read the credits - there were some well known faces; what happened to the little boy actor, I wonder. Was his name Robert Booth? I noticed that the Railway station had 'Hayling' on it; perhaps it was Hayling Island? Does anyone know which camp it was filmed at? I used to go to Coronation and Sunshine on the Island; those were the days! I wonder if PM watched his father-in-law! The likeness is quite uncanny. Yuk!!!