The Minis (2009)

I've watched this movie three times not because I enjoy it, but because I feel the need to inflict it on friends and loved ones to help them understand the nature of suffering.It's as if everyone involved in this movie (save maybe one or two actors) was actively trying to sabotage the making of this movie. The only question is whether they did this out of contempt for the filmmaker or for the people who would debase themselves by watching this movie.The scene where they meet with the big-shot Hollywood agent was clearly shot in a storage facility? Better leave the blinds open so the audience can tell we couldn't afford to rent an actual office space.In spite of the totally-not-written-by-people-involved-in-the-movie endorsements of the soundtrack made by some of the other reviews, the soundtrack is...well it's bad. Not even bad in the way the rest of the movie is (where you can kind of sit in awe of how horrid it is) it's just bland. On the plus side, it's not nearly catchy enough to get stuck in your head, so it won't haunt your nightmares or anything.Probably the worst part of the movie (spoilers ahead) is when the son (who's name I can't be bothered to look up for fear that would result in me putting more effort into reviewing this pile of wet crap than the filmmakers did making it) starts "playing" basketball at the end in full clown gear. It's not the clown gear part that's bad (at this point in the film it takes way more to shock you) it's that the kid is the worst actor in the whole thing (which is kind of like being the worst glass of horse pee you've ever had to drink). Like, you could go to any high school in the country and find at least one drama kid more capable of delivering his lines believably than this kid does. You watch every line this kid delivers, and you just assume that he's some super good high school basketball player that they cast for the inevitable scene at the end when he takes the court. Then he takes the court, and, bless his little heart, is bad at basketball in a way that makes suspension of disbelief impossible. Like, I can buy a dwarf balling out of control way easier than I can buy this kid being good at basketball.This movie is truly awful. Maybe the worst movie I've ever seen, and I've seen Santa With Muscles.

Minis is a film that at first I knew what I was getting myself into and was expecting it to be the worst of the worst, but Minis isn't exactly the worst I have seen ever but it's not exactly a film I like(as for this 3/10 rating). First off, the opening scene is what feels like a home movie from the 80's and the voicing feels poorly dubbed like its mouthing the words or something. Then the opening credits and several shots of the film have painfully colorized annoyingly shot scenes that feel like a YouTube video or something like that. The 3 high notes of Minis are Chevy who is quite entertaining, some of the basketball shots, and the lines of dialogue made by Dennis Rodman. Overall, Minis is a stupidly bad movie that has a few positive parts but with lots of issues such as sloppy camera-work, bad editing, supposed dubbing, and terrible acting.

I am posting on this website for the first time just to find a way to get the songs from The Minis. They are all original and great. If ANYBODY knows where I can get the CD, please let me know. I read the comment about the film and all I can and wanna say is: People who post comments, get a life. It's funny how I myself used to criticize others and talk bad about things just for the sake of it, because I was bored, because I used to feel so much better about myself. Then, one magic day, I became a dad... and everything changed perspective. This film was not made for me or for you. It is so clear: It was made for kids like my child, who was FINALLY able to see a film with good values and no cussing or violence. The acting is bad? I don't think so. Sure, Rodman is not a real actor, but he did his part. Everybody played an important part bringing this fairytale to life and making my child believe. At the end of the film, he loved those little people and, thanks to this film, he'll look at them like real people, because that's who and what they are. Real people have human feelings, simple needs, and normal lives. From this film, expect nothing more and nothing less than good heart-felt emotions... and an awesome soundtrack for all ages.

Seemed like it would be a interesting, funny and all around good film worth watching, until I started watching it. The idea of the film was a descent one. Four little people teaming up with an ex-basketball star to play a local ball contest. That's the best it got. The acting, on all accounts was just bad. The story was nothing original either. Father wants son to play ball, son wants to do something else, son does not get scholarship to school, father doesn't have enough money, so of coarse, enter a local contest to win prize money. Guy likes one girl that doesn't know he's alive. Another girl likes him, but he's to stupid to see it. Those ideas have been done way too many times and they never get any better.The film tries to send the message, don't call them "midgets", call them dwarfs or little people. But with a terrible script and bad acting all the good morals they try to convey, end up being drowned out by your snoring because you keep falling asleep from complete boredom.The only thing I can think of saying good about this movie is..... It has descent cinematography. They seem to have use good quality cameras and film, along with someone to run the cameras that appeared like they knew what they were doing. Audio is descent too. You can clearly hear that bad acting going on.If you want to see a funny and good movie with a ex-basketball star, I recommend saving your money and just rent Space Jam for the hundredth time.