Mac and Me (1988)

This is without-a-shadow-of-a-doubt one of the most dreadfully APPALLING films of all time!! It's a (disgracefully) shameless rip-off of "E.T." sponsored and financed (SO obviously so) by McDonalds and Coca Cola.It's so ludicrous and shameful that once you get beyond that what it falsely claims to be... it actually proves so very enjoyable as the piece of steaming pile of drivel that it actually is."Mac & me" is the "Plan 9 From Outer Space" of its time.

Most of the budget was funded by McDonald's and Coca-Cola, but Skittles also gets in on the action about an E.T knockoff befriending a young wheelchair bound boy. Mac and Me truly fits the bill as one of the best bad movies of all time. Watch the filmmaker's souls evaporate into burger grease as an inexplicably random McDonald's dance sequence, with the big man himself Ronald, is thrown into the middle of the film. It's a movie written around product placement and cashing in on the success of E.T, but this shameless corporate shill of a film bombed a bloody death at the box office - but not before the filmmakers threaten the audience with a 'we'll be back' title card.

(Hell if Kraft had chipped in the money for production that probably WOULD be the title.)I could give a detailed review of the whole movie, but come on, people, the premise alone (a 90 minute orgy of corporate synergism disguised as an ET ripoff) would be sufficient enough to inform you that this was junk. (Besides, many other reviewers have already highlighted some of Mac and Me's most ridiculous scenes.) Indeed all I have to do is simply describe the mind-boggling ending to showcase why this is loathsome junk.SPOILERS:In an effort to tug at our heartstrings (to the point of almost yanking them out of our chests) the filmmakers kill off the cripple kid (Jade Calegory) in a giant raging explosion that would give Michael Bay multiple orgasms. To indicate that this is "poignant" the cast pretends to cry, with Mama Cripple (Christine Ebersol) surprisingly doing the least effective job of mourning. Of course she was only mildly upset when he prop-dummied his way off a cliff, so maybe she too is secretly hoping to not to put up with her boy's lameness. Not to worry! The hideous alien family (who kinda caused the explosion in the first place) reveal they're apparently fireproof and do a laying of hands and demonstrates a previously unannounced and oddly coincidental healing power and rats...I mean "huzzah!" Eric the handi-capable kid is healed! (Well not his legs because these aliens kinda suck. Maybe if they had utilized the healing properties in DELICIOUS THIRST-QUENCHING COCA-COLA?) Incidentally the fire is still roaring out of control right next to our stars and no one is rushing an almost roasted Eric to a hospital or anything. But who cares? Anyone want any Skittles?Then we transition to a new day where the two evil military/government stooges that have been chasing Mac and his family throughout the whole movie are eagerly rushing somewhere. Where are they going in such a hurry? Why they're going to an immigrant naturalization ceremony where MAC and his equally repulsive family ARE BEING SWORN IN AS FULL CITIZENS OF THE UNITED STATES OF America! All the characters from the movie are clapping along happily, even the ones who were enemies until just a few minutes ago. I'm sure many viewers jaws' were dropping at this seemingly inexplicable plot twist (especially since the aliens dressed like some parody of a 50's sitcom family all of a sudden), but it makes perfect sense with the movie's ultimate Aesop: There is nothing more "All- American" then stuffing yourself full of high-fructose corn syrup and buying cheap consumer products (awwwwww! Heartwarming stuff, ain't it?) I mean sure these disgusting space turds don't understand that stealing precious, precious Coke at gunpoint is, you know, "bad", but their fanatical pursuit of brand-name foodstuff just makes them the ideal Black Friday shopper.Besides the TRULY cringe-worthy moment doesn't begin into just before the credits roll. Not only do we have to endure some Celine-wannabe and her overwrought caterwauling (the filmmakers clearly meant for this to be their "Oscar-bait" song), but the film officially ends with the aliens driving down the freeway (???) with a cartoon bubble saying "We'll be back!" What amazing gall! The people who put this atrocity together seriously had so little respect for their audience that rather then being embarrassed for unleashing this desperate money-grubbing dreck, they thought this would be successful enough for franchising, because hey, the people who'd we want as customers and fans aren't smart enough to want things like quality, right? They're just dumb easily-exploitable marks who's buy any crap we try to sell them right? Boy am I glad they were proved wrong.

OK, so what's the worst thing about "Mac and Me"? Is it that the movie is a blatant "E.T." ripoff? Or is it that the movie is essentially a 90-minute commercial (complete with a dance sequence in a McDonald's)? Whatever the answer is, the point is that this movie is the celluloid equivalent of a human rights abuse. It has NO good qualities, not a single one (it was incidental that this was Jennifer Aniston's debut). I have seen a number of crummy movies that turned out to have sort of an enjoyable side. Hell, I even took "Myra Breckinridge" and "Mommie Dearest" seriously (no, really, I did). But "Mac and Me" is probably the movie that Dr. Forrester and TV's Frank could've shown Mike, Servo and Crow to make them go insane on "Mystery Science Theater 3000". For the life of me I cannot figure out why Steven Spielberg didn't sue the makers of "Mac and Me" for copying "E.T." (then again, maybe it's better that he didn't, since it would've given the ripoff undeserved publicity).It should come as no surprise that this litany of awfulness regularly shows up on lists of the worst movies ever made. It makes any Ed Wood movie look like a cross between "Citizen Kane" and "Dr. Strangelove". Thankfully, audiences recognized it for what it was and it bombed, and so there was no sequel.