B. Monkey (1999)

Asia Argento is a cinema goddess that plays a thief active in London's underbelly. She's caught up in strange love triangle between her male crime partner and his straight laced lover. Each wanting the other. When the two gay lovers split Asia slowly corrupts the straight laced character. The acting by every one is robust and intense. Asia Argento once again proves in B. Monkey why she should be considered a great actor. I love her European attitude view of nudity. She has no problem taking her clothes off showing her body. That line in a John Mayer song about a wonderland had to be made in honor of Asia Argento.B. Monkey is a story that touches on what it's like to live on the edge of society. I was engrossed in this cinematic masterpiece from minute one.

On paper this looks like a good movie with Michael Radford directing an adaptation of an Andrew Davies novel but before the opening titles have even finished you find out what the fault of the movie is: Supply teacher Alan works at a hospital as the inhouse DJ and before you've even had time to digest this the action jump cuts to Beatrice and co carrying out a robbery , this is so much a shock in terms of juxtaposition it's like the channel has suddenly jumped to another station and you're watching another movie . Not only that but Beatrice's expositional voice over seems stilted and faintly ridiculous not helped by the fact that Asia Argento seems to have a problem saying the " F " word convincingly . Indeed none of the actors in this production seems to be able to swear with any conviction . Considering nearly every sentence contains expletives this is a serious problem with the movie But the dialogue is not the only serious problem ,there's serious signs of under development with the script . Check the scene where Beatrice and Alan meet for the first time . I guess it might have worked okay on paper but watching the scene on celluloid makes the whole scenario unlikely . And there's other scenes like this , for example Beatrice and her colleague turn up at the house of a parent who has made a complaint about Alan . No doubt Alan knows where the parent lives but there's no hint that Alan has passed this information to Beatrice so how would she know where to find the parent ? In a film where the audience are asking themselves where this bizarre and muddled plot is heading plot holes like this jump out of the screen and strangle the critical viewer Radford directs well but he's the wrong choice since B MONKEY seems to be attempting to be a chic British thriller with some black comedy thrown in , but the actors play their roles in a loud European way which contrasts with the British locations and language . One can't help feeling this movie would have worked far better if Davies novel had been transported to Paris or Rome with Radford employing a native cast speaking their own language . As it is B MONKEY is yet another messy Brit flick with a totally ill thought out script

B.Monkey has one main attraction, and it's sporting it's bare back on the front cover of the case; Asia Argento. Italian women are very attractive, but Dario Argento's daughter is more attractive than most. Luckily for her fans, she isn't too bothered about public image either, which is always a bonus. Asia is well known for pushing the boundaries by doing things such as admitting to taking drugs and having no problems with posing nude for photo shoots and doing nude scenes in her movies. And this movie features plenty of Asia!Unfortunately though, Asia is about this film's only asset. It's true that it is well directed, but that is somewhat lost under the unlikely and predictable storyline. The film tries to blend too many different elements; thriller, romance, feel good and crime most notably and it doesn't blend too well and ends up rather messy. It also doesn't feature too many stand out moments and overall it feels very much a B-movie. The movie tries to lend itself a heart with the way that the two main characters are the complete opposite of each other and yet they still find romance. However, even this aspect of the movie doesn't feel quite right, as in real life a hardened criminal would be very unlikely to fall for a dorky schoolteacher. Another major flaw with this movie is the dialogue, which at times is a little suspect, especially some of things Asia says, they just aren't right for her character. Still, any movie with an often naked Italian babe, sporting an angel tattoo across her stomach has got to be worth a watch, even if it poorly plotted, badly scripted and on the whole, extremely unlikely.

This Movie is "Excellent" The soundtrack is also "Excellent." I really enjoyed this movie because the main character wanted better for herself instead of just a life of crime and how she struggled with the change. I also like the man that falls in love with her because he sees hope in her. A great Love Story as well.