A Zed & Two Noughts (1990)

How does one define oddness? I'd suggest by starting with two words: Peter Greenaway. You can also use those two words to define "Unique cinema visions," "total control," "beautiful views" and "don't mess with me." Greenaway is his own world, and you're either eager for a visit or you'll insist on staying off the space ship. I'd suggest you prepare for your visit by packing away any compulsion you might have to explain things...such as his meaning, his importance...all those categories, lists and twos of things...and your own squeamishness. "I don't make pictures that have a sell-by date," Greenaway once said. That's especially true of A Zed and Two Noughts, where a good many of the things we'll see have long passed their sell-by date. We start the movie with a double death in a car crash by a zoo...death by swan on a lane called Swan's Way. The wives of our two zoologists may be gone, but their husbands, twins and formerly joined twins Oswald and Oliver Deuce, will lead us on an exploration of grief and decay, illustrated by their stop motion movies. We will meet a beautiful amputee, soon to have her remaining leg off by a mad surgeon, probably for issues of symmetry. In addition to wet decay, we'll enjoy vomiting, frontal nudity, Vermeer, Greenaway's magnificent color palette, black and white animals, a white mare named Hortense, several interesting fetishes, plus the movie's unique chapter headings: Mercury, Apple, Prawn, Fish, Crocodile, Swan, Dog, Zebra and Escargot. Black comedy, indeed. I'll admit I don't think I understood a thing about A Zed and Two Noughts. I started to read what some critics and fans have offered by way of analysis and found much of what they had to say, from my point of view, largely incomprehensible, too detailed or too dull. Greenaway is chilly, controlling and all about style layered heavily on top of substance. He can make Stanley Kubrick look loosey-goosey. I found a Zed and Two Noughts, in a perverse kind of way, enjoyable. I suspect that's because Greenaway comes up with such odd, intriguing and often disturbing visions. They can almost make you forget what the devil he's getting at. For me, Prospero's Books is a perfect blend of style and story; The Cook, the Thief, His Wife and Her Lover is an almost perfect match of style and story; The Draughtsman's Contract is an amusing overlay of manners, murder, style and story. But A Zed and Two Noughts? Well, I found it chilly, sometimes uninvolving and often amusing. I enjoyed it, more or less, most of the time. (I occasionally used the fast-forward button). If ten people can tell me what the movie means, beyond the old standbys of death, grief and snails, I'll bet I'll read ten wildly different opinions. That's no particular criticism of either Greenaway or the film.

Here's another review to stuff at the back of the "Zed" log with the other pans. I loved "Drowning By Numbers" so was interested in this as a film previous to it. "Drowning" is basically absurdist, like "Zed", but it also has humour, warmth & humanity. This thing is an absurdist black hole. Seems there's a lot of symmetry in Greenaway's universe, and in some circles symmetry is considered a close adjunct of meaning, but here the opposite is true. Striking cinematography aside (the only thing that earned this film its 2 points), this is a waste of time. I found myself wondering why I was still sitting in the seat. It is ideologically driven: Greenaway has a philosophical world-view to get across and nothing stands in its way. The characters are ciphers in its service: we care absolutely nothing for them. The film is an expression of an intellectual death obsession. It is the fact that the driving force here is intellectual that makes the film disgusting and pretentious. An egghead's movie about his despair at being an egghead. Avoid at all costs.

Very very minor spoilers: If you like artistic, nihilistic, thought-provoking, intense cinema, this one will probably stay with you for a long time..Ingredients are: clever dialogues, inventive and breath-taking camera work, somehow disturbing sense of "exact" symmetry, great coordination of style and script, brilliant directing, and some amazing "rotting" scenes you won't be able to see in any other movie. Highly, highly recommended. Do I sound like an advertising agent?Oh well, this one was too happy a review for a pessimistic movie.Enjoy.

A rewarding post modern film about life and decay and the effects of a single moment on a person's life. Great sets and photography by the legendary cinematographer Sacha Vierny, this film makes you ultra aware that you are watching a film, or a sort of theatrical filmed piece. Greenaway is an aquired but very rewarding taste, and no other director makes films as he does. A disturbing somber film for serious fans of modern cinema. Greenaway is a must in your education of film.