The Insatiable (2006)

"The Insatiable" is a well-made vampire comedy horror with a decent cast and direction. Sean Patrick Flanery plays Harry Balbo, a man who witnesses a horrific vampire killing during his visit to his local convenience store. Balbo becomes obsessed with tracking the beautiful female vampire (Charlotte Ayanna) down and is successful in imprisoning her in his basement.Ayanna is a convincing screen siren and it's easy to see how Balbo becomes her unwitting helper. Michael Biehn plays a seasoned vampire hunter - it's a small role but he makes the most of it.7 out of 10. The ending's a bit rushed but this is a reasonable horror comedy. Worthy of a rental.

The Insatiable is set in Los Angeles where Harry Balbo (Sean Patrick Flannery) witnesses a female Vampire named Tatiana (Charlotte Ayanna) killing a homeless guy in an alley, he becomes obsessed with her & trying to track her down in order to kill her. However after Harry does track Tatiana down he cannot bring himself to decapitate her so he sets a trap for her, Harry lures her back to the apartment block he is the supervisor of & traps her in a reinforced steel cage in the basement. There Harry hopes to be able to convince Tatiana to change her murderous ways but it proves harder than Harry first anticipated & whatever happens Tatiana still needs fresh blood every night otherwise she will die...Co-written & co-directed by Chuck Konzelman & Cary Solomon this is yet another cheap looking low budget shot on a camcorder type horror film that litter video shelves everywhere, the one thing The Insatiable has going for it is that there is a reasonable idea behind it but ultimately it fails to distinguish itself & ends up being crap. The script by Konzelman, Solomon & J.R. McGarity has an intriguing twisted love type premise that could have made for a decent light hearted horror film, unfortunately due to a near two hour running time which is very hard to get through in one sitting, a pace so slow I almost fell asleep on several occasions, a serious lack of dramatic incident, several little sub plots which go nowhere, the general incompetence of the LA police & some poor character motivation The Insatiable turns out to be a waste of time & money. I suppose there are lots of little subtle things going on in the script, the way a prisoner can manipulate the captor, how someone can fall in love with someone evil hoping to change them, the futility of wanting something/someone you can't have & the rather more socially relevant consequences of slacking off work! I don't really know why films like The Insatiable exist, sure there might be a few people out there who take to the story & character's more than most but I would imagine they are few & far between & I firmly believe the majority of viewers will be both throughly bored & annoyed by watching The Insatiable in just about every way.I was lead to believe that the Insatiable was a horror film but apart from the fact that there's a Vampire in it you would be hard pressed to know most of the time, there is virtually no gore, no horror, no scares, no atmosphere, no tension & that just has to be a little bit disappointing. Apart from a ripped off arm there's no blood or gore, there's no nudity either. There's no real style here, it's pretty much point & shoot all the way. I just don't really understand who The Insatiable is meant to appeal to. Is it hardcore horror fans? Is it the oddball romantics out there? Is it the casual DVD buyer/renter? I can't really see it satisfying anyone to be honest. For those of you that make it to the end credits the temptation will more than likely be to switch the damned thing off as soon as you can but if you keep watching there's a bit more of the film that runs during them. In fact there's a scene with a letter which we are meant to read but since the version I saw was pan and scanned & the image was on the extreme right most of the letter was cut off at the side of the screen! If you keep watching even further after the credits have ended there's a seemingly pointless shot of a cute fluffy white rabbit.With a supposed budget of about $700,000 The Insatiable is reasonably well made with decent if unspectacular production values, set in Los Angeles but according to the IMDb shot in Austin in Texas. The acting is alright & there are a couple of eyebrow raising cast members, god knows how they got Sean Patrick Flannery to appear in this & it's always nice to see Michael Biehn of The Terminator (1984) & Aliens (1986) fame & I also have to say that he's bloody aged well hasn't he? I mean The Terminator was made over twenty years prior to The Insatiable yet he still looks almost exactly the same!The Insatiable could have been good, it had potential & an unusual storyline but a snail's pace, a jumbled up plot, an almost two hour running time that feels more like two days & overall one has to say The Insatiable is not a film that I have much fondness for.

This may be the best vampire film you see this year, forget about big budget big star adventure movies with a vampire theme, this is true to the legend, well produced and well acted with a small cast and probably a small budget but you'd never guess. Apart from being hot Charlotte Ayanna positively simmers as the vampire trapped in the cellar by a sad little metalwork salesman played superbly by Sean Patrick Flannery. Even the smaller parts are well cast and well acted, it shows that they cared about this movie even though they weren't famous names. So many smaller films suffer from poor acting by the actors who play the smaller parts but not here, the detective is believable and the cashier in the local store is a treat. I loved the part when Harry produces a money off coupon when buying the wherewithal to dispose of a body in the local hardware store, that's the attention to detail that shows this production team has a future, bring on the next movie!

OK I have seen some bad vampire movies, but I didn't think it was possible to make one this bad. This movie had like 2 scenes of violence and the characters are just plain retarded. The main guy is a computer executive that holds the female vampire captive and feels the need to feed her when he could just do what any normal human being would do and LET HER DIE!!! Why would anyone keep a vampire alive? Thats just dumb, and Michael Biehn's character was even sort of dumb because he had like a 10 minute role in the movie altogether. The best thing about this movie is how hot Charlotte Ayanna looked, but thats beside the point. Its a vampire movie and it should have action, this had none. She was in a cage for over an hour getting fed by an idiot. Please avoid this movie at all costs, it really has no point and it is the worst vampire movie ever. Overall I give it a 2 out of 10 because Charlotte Ayanna looked good, but the movie just plain failed from beginning to end.