Robot Monster (1953)

Robot Monster is heralded as one of the classics of schlock cinema. It's lame, low budget and of course it features a gorilla wearing a diving helmet. Robot Monster was filmed almost entirely at Bronson Canyon and this was a location used for several films afterwards.There's moments that unveil the films noticeably low budget such as what appears to be a bubble machine and the infamous use of stock footage from films such as One Million B.C., Lost Continent, Flight to Mars and Invasion, USA. As you would imagine the film received negative reviews and Robot Monster has been since held in infamy.I would say I've seen worse films, Manos: The Hands of Fate is by far the worst of the lot, but Robot Monster would easily be in my top five worst for sure.

Well, I pass the trophy over from Jaws III to this movie. It really is so bad. Some movies can be so bad they are good. Not this movie...it is a stinker. The acting...what acting? The special effects...what special effects? The dinosaurs...well, they were kinda cool. But what purpose did they serve? Best thing about this movie? That's easy; the love scene. Our hero and heroine are fleeing from some hairy armed man in a diving helmet (supposedly an alien) and incredibly they find time for a bit of flirting, foreplay and a massive kissing session in the hay while this killer robot is limping around in the desert looking totally lost (probably trying to find a way to sneak off the set. In a word, dreadful.

No need to get into the loony plot. Thanks to this ghastly treasure, I nominate Ordung and Tucker for the Outpatient Hall of Fame. After all, who else but the ditzy would think a gorilla suit topped by a diving bell is the stuff of nightmares. And if that's not scary enough, top it off with a menacing Lawrence Welk bubble machine. Still, when those alien bubbles came flying at me, I was under the bed in nothing flat. Yes indeed, this lunatic mess qualifies for not just any award, but for a big fat Golden Turkey. I love it when the world's at stake, and a shirtless Roy and a busty Alice traipse off to the weeds for some serious canoodling. Nice to know Hollywood won't let world's end interfere with a commercial product. But the movie's real star is lowly Bronson Canyon. It's a burned up pimple on the face of LA that no 50's schlock would be complete without. Then too, I love the way a waddling Ro-Man clumps up and down the desiccated slopes like he's looking for Humane Society rescue. Oh well, what can you say about a near home-movie that cost all of sixteen grand. Heck, production companies spend that much on lunch these days. Still, someone should have let the cast in on the joke. They play things like there's an Oscar at stake. Anyway, a tip of the diving helmet to the makers of this inspired mess. Meanwhile-- Is it safe to come out now?

"Robot Monster" is a wonderful film about a gorilla in a diving helmet who loves bubbles and beautiful women. Oh, and the gorilla is also a ROBOT MONSTER! FROM SPACE! He's killed all but 5 people on planet Earth and is trying to finish the job! And... Well really that's about it. Except that one of the 5 is a beautiful woman and the monster wants to keep her alive for his own purposes, much to the chagrin of his superiors (and her boyfriend who has a severe aversion to wearing shirts).Like most bad movies, a lot of stuff happens that doesn't make any sense and leaves the viewer wondering what they missed; but this gem actually addresses its incongruity in its final plot twist - which is possibly the biggest let-down of the film. While a little drawn-out, "Robot Monster" is a classic example of the beyond-B sci-fi movie genre and often glorious in its awfulness.