Hot Dog... The Movie (1984)

I saw this movie when I was 22. And I just saw the movie again at 52. I have seen it a few times in the past 30 years, and at 52 I think the movie is a great as it was when I was a kid just out of college. I am a skier and snowboarder, and I watch and love the Warren Miller films (may he rest in peace). I also watch and love "Hot Dog... The Movie" because it has great scenery, awesome skiing (though I don't understand the ski ballet bit, no wonder it never made it into the Olympics), epic partying, and the most awesome T&A. Yes, us 50 year olds still love the T&A. I have a Warren Miller film collection, and "Hot Dog... The Movie" sits right there alongside the them as a favorite ski theme movie that I plan to pass down to my children. Along with the Warren Miller films, of course.

Hot Dog is not really a good movie and does not rival Stripes or Animal House as it is just not funny enough.Patrick Houser plays Harkin Banks, a young and innocent freestyle skier who heads to Squaw valley to take part in a competition. Along the way he picks up a young girl called Sunny who he gets friendly with.At the resort he teams up with some fun loving guys called the 'Rat Pack' led by O'Callahan (David Naughton.) Ace Austrian freestyle skier who Banks admires turns out to be a douche bag but the organisers of the race favour because him as he brings in public interest to the competition.The film has some pranks, zaniness, lots of tits and ass, such as a pointless Miss Wet T shirt contest in a bar.After a disputed result it all ends with a crazy 'Chinese Downhill' as all competitors take part in to find the true champion.It is all rather cheesy and moronic. Shannon Tweed in an early film role is easy on the eye.

The snow always seemed an odd choice as a setting for a sex comedy. There's only one reason people watch movies like these, and that's to see nudity. It makes sense to set these at the beach, because at least there one expects to see more skin than they would in the suburbs or the city. But on the ski slopes? Why would one disrobe there?There could only be one reason why the producers decided to set "Hot Dog: The Movie" in a place so cold you need more clothes, not less: they needed something basic and arbitrary to separate their movie from the glut of other similar films flooding the market in the '80s. I guess they were also trying to cash in on the skiing fad, if that's what it was.The fact is, there is not enough nudity in this movie - despite the presence of softcore queen Shannon Tweed - to make it worth watching for anyone other than hardcore skiing aficionados. Even they might be annoyed at the idiocy of moments such as when one of the bad guys pushes a button on his belt and his helmet starts pumping out exhaust, making the guys behind him cough and gag. Or when the skiers all apparently become indestructible and start crashing through tables and glass. Try not to think of Sonny Bono during most of the movie, or cringe when one guy hits a tree.This all happens during the big race at the movie's finish. Getting there takes some effort. The movie is tedious and stupid. Consider the good guys, who have a collection of character traits that make them more pitiful than sympathetic. One is obviously an alcoholic, with little bottles of booze in every pocket of his ski vest. Is this supposed to be funny? Another is constantly plastering his face with zinc cream and propositioning women so that they can throw their drinks in his patchy white face. At one point he climbs into a gondola alone, while his friends have already taken to the sky, and they watch him get it on with some random girl who has no reason to be doing that. But never mind - his friends cheer him on although they have no way of knowing what he's doing. Their POV shots reveal nothing but the back of their friend's head. There is also a cardboard cut out bad guy, an Austrian with a great head of hair who turns out to be a huge jerk from his first appearance, because if someone cut you out of cardboard, you better do everything to make sure you fit the shape they made. Of course it ends up being the hero versus the bad guy, but the thing is, these two aren't the only ones in the competition, all the way up til the end. When the other good guys root for the hero, they seem to forget to, you know, root for themselves as well? Or do they know they're in a movie where they've been relegated to buddy status?There is very little nudity and a lot of skiing, which looks like someone lurching from side to side monotonously toward the camera. There is also a "freestyle skiing" round, where the skiers spin around like there's a rat in their pants they're trying to get rid of.It's a boring and stupid movie, and it's hard to imagine anyone enjoying it.

Hot Dog is one of the best movies ever. If you're on a high-school or college ski team, if you are a fan of the eighties, if you like movies with a formulaic plot to support gratuitous nudity and zany fun (think: Hardbodies; in this case ski-fun), this is a movie for you. For all skiers out there, this is really a must see: "Yah, ze Chinese downhill. It is ze ohnly vay." is a phrase that never goes out of style. Even without the phrase, if you've ever skied a Chinese downhill, you need to know it's origin. Great as a drinking game (so many fun recurring elements to drink to: squirrel's nose cream, nudity, "Ruudy," Dan mixing a drink...) or as an apres ski tonic. If you're uptight or like movies for good acting, plotting, or direction, you can skip it, but if you like fun and skiing... it doesn't get any better. Also educational: learn about the history of freestyle skiing (ballet's gone the way of the dinosaur, but aerials persist in the olympics). This movie was remade in the nineties as a pretentious PG-13 called Aspen Extreme, which is unintentionally funny, but stick with the original. I have seen this movie many times, but I bought it when I found it on eBay so I could watch it over and over again.