Asteroid vs Earth (2014)

This movie was so bad that everyone involved should be prosecuted and imprisoned for crimes against humanity.Just kidding, but it really was that bad.I thought with some big stars like Tim Russ (Tuvok, Star Trek Voyager) and Robert Davai (Kholia, Stargate Atlantis) then it should be at least bearable. Nope. Nothing even close.Coming from a career in the military, the military characters and dialogue were horrific. Not the worst I've seen but still really bad.The Asylum "was" progressing slowly but surely towards better movies, but this was a step back. Even for the Asylum.Save your time, save your money, and just skip this. Trust me, if you watch this you'll wish you had taken my advice.

Only watched this movie because I saw that Tuvok from Star Trek was in it, and for his role in the movie I guess he did a passable job. The movie however was so terrible...The plot is completely and utterly garbage, only a person with no schooling of any type would buy the story. It's one of those moments in a movie where they need to get you to go along with what they are saying. There are usually two ways, Science, and magic. Lets face it they would have been better off going the magic route on this one.Second, Roles of officials, Soldiers, and general professionals. The world leaders acted like badly mannered teenagers, and seemed completely incompetent. The Main scientist was a Child, The person in charge of the nukes on shore had to be the worst over-actor I have seen in ages. He made those crates seem so heavy that Hulk couldn't have lifted them but some how he did after he had himself a cry.The General in charge of the US affairs doesn't have any scientific advisers or professionals instead he trusts a child for advice.The Soldiers just pointed guns at everyone. Going to pick up a scientist to help with the plan, Sure lets all point m16's at her and yell loudly. Hey we are going to offload nuclear devices at a naval base and apparently there is no where to store them on base so lets lug em around in SUV's.The engineers on the ship were incompetent. When told to wrap things up outside the ship and continue working from the inside the Head engineer tells someone inside! the ship to stop work.... The ship itself seems to be held together with duct tape.Let us delve a little deeper though, no Romance in the film just a really fake gay relationship that was done terribly. The relationship between the XO and the female scientist was Just terrible, they kiss at the end after having had no real romantic moments the entire movie...Apparently our intern dies from foam ceiling tiles a collapsible pipe and some drywall.

Very bad, but not outright unwatchable.Contrary to other reviews I found that gay lieutenant to be the ONLY plausible story element.If you love physics or science in general - do not watch this movie.Otherwise if you are able to suspend your disbelief so much it floats into outer space at warp speed - you can give it a try.I enjoyed it *kinda*. It was so bad, it was almost good, but not really. It is definitely above Asylum "average" quality, but I must agree that "it could be worse" is an adequate assessment here, and not a very encouraging one. Maybe it would go better after few beers.

Given the synopsis of this movie, you know that you are going to be in for a low budget version of disaster movies already done before with bigger budgets and a more impressive cast list.And the very first thing that pops up on the screen is in itself a warning sign enough to behold, The Asylum. Yep, a movie such as this is, of course, a movie by The Asylum. So why keep watching it? Well, every now and then The Asylum do manage to strike gold and release something that is impressive and surprisingly good. "Asteroid vs. Earth" wasn't one of those moments, however.A massive asteroid is on a collision course with Earth, and it is up to the American military to save the world, of course. And how do they plan to do this? Well, first of all by attempting to scatter the meteor into fragments by blowing it up with nuclear warheads out in space (yep, that has been seen and done before countless times). And if that plan is to fail, the failsafe plan is to detonate nuclear warheads in a deep oceanic trench to, and I kid you not, move the entire Earth out of the trajectory of the meteor. Move the Earth, are you kidding me? I guess that puts a whole new meaning to the song "I feel the Earth move".The storyline in "Asteroid vs. Earth" is just so preposterous and out there that it doesn't pass as being believable for even the slightest of moments. And you just sit there throughout the entire movie baffled at the ludicrous imagination going on here.I sat down to watch this movie simply because of Tia Carrere, and she actually do manage to make the movie watchable. The rest of the movie barely scrapes by as being mildly entertaining at best.The effects in the movie is nothing to make notice of. It wasn't particularly memorable. But truth be told, I have seen much worse effects and CGI in movies.If you enjoy disaster movies, there are far better ones available.