Nobody Gets Out Alive (2013)

The movie starts with Hunter's (Brain Gallagher) daughter being killed by a drunk driver as she plays hopscotch on a two lane road in front of her house even though they had a drive way; Hunter witnesses his daughter's death, and now he seeks revenge. Well its not hard to figure out who the killer is, and why he is killing they give that away in the first 30mins. Since "Nobody Gets Out Alive" was not suspenseful, the movie should have had a brilliant plot, fantastic killing scenes, and decent acting...right; Wrong!The plot had a few holes in it; for example, how the Hunter's daughter was killed, very stupid. Also I did not make a connection to the main character, Jen. I actually was more attached to Jared, who sadly played a small roll. Out of all the death scenes, I only liked one, and the rest were very plain. The killer would of been better off using a gun; yes it was that bad. Not only were the death scenes plain, but they looked fake. The special effects were horrible.The acting was okay at times, but it was terrible when it counted the most, for instance, during the death scenes and when they were being chased.I rated this movie a 4 because it had potential, it was easy to follow, and some what entertaining. If the acting was more believable, and the death scenes a bit more unique it could have raise the score 3 to 4 points.~Was watched alone in the dark~

I swear that I will not watch anymore low budget horror but I always get sucked in. The thing that sucked me in on this one was that it proclaimed to be an homage to the slasher flicks of 70's and 80's. An homage? Hardly. It is cookie cutter amateur shlock that tries to literally copy Friday the 13th. Rumour has it that Victor Miller (screenwriter of Friday the 13th) gave his blessing and advice on this script and if that is true, Miller must have been drugged or drunk when he read it. The script is atrocious. Most of the time I wondered if there was even a script at all and if the characters didn't just try to make their own "cool" "slang" dialogue because it was so incredibly bad. The characters sounded awkward filling in every other word with the "F" word like they were struggling to make sense of the script. The back story on the killer is so insanely stupid and to top it all off near the end of the film he gets a sappy soliloquy that makes no sense and breaks the entire feel of the movie. Now, I will say this that the latter half of the film...when the killer is stalking and eliminating the victims (thank goodness) actually was better than the first half. And I will also say that the special effects for an incredibly low budget, very poor movie were actually very well done. The killing scenes were far better than the movie itself and one particularly disturbing scene of a nail being hammered into someones skull was impressive. At this point I will do what another reviewer did and call out Lauren Palmer who did the special effects for shamelessly reviewing her own movie and her own work and giving it a 10/10 on IMDb. Seriously...very very poor taste. And that's unfortunate Ms. Palmer because your work was the ONLY redeemable part of this crapfest.The acting was truly atrocious. The main cast was bad but the supporting cast was even worse. And why in the HELL did Clint Howard get involved in this and why even more does he get a listing on the cover of the movie. Clint Howard doesn't sell movies and if that's your star power...you REALLY are in trouble. The man has a 30 second role, and two lines and is completely pointless. I also have to give a dishonourable mention to Diane Bakos and Luis Pacheco who play "Jenn's parents." I sincerely think they must be friends of the cast or parents of one of the cast because both of them were excruciatingly awful on screen. Jen Dance, who gets the most back story and is supposed to be our "scream queen" is so wooden and broody and while she shows the most emotion, it isn't good. Shaun Paul Costello is so awful...I can't even explain. He is the number one perpetrator of spewing pointless obscenities and dialogue that is torture to listen to. Nikki Bell plays the slutty girl who sleeps with her guy and then gets killed. She can't even do that right because she is awful and beyond cookie cutter. It was like they said to her...okay you're the slutty girl, now go. They even make reference to her as being exactly that and then feel they need to explain her purpose. No one else is worth mentioning because they are that bad. But the rest of the cast is spared from being truly awful because they barely have a pulse on screen. Brian Gallagher might be the only one who actually seems to have any talent at all but the script is so bad that it gives him nothing to work with and his serial killer is so mundane and pointless.Big shocker here...Jason Christopher in his first feature film writes and directs the movie. He clearly enjoys horror movies and thought he could do it just as well by copying Friday the 13th. He is a terrible writer, and a barely mediocre director. I say mediocre because some of the kill scenes and chase scenes were actually decently done but only barely. This was literally like watching little kids "play" Friday the 13th in their front lawns. I don't understand it because I know for a fact that there are really good amateur writers out there and they should be given the right to create their stuff because it has to be better than this crap. Low budget imitation crap with good special effects as weird as that sounds. This one is a total miss. 3/10

First, let's talk about the acting: it sucks. Jen Dance is annoying. Shaun Paul Costello doesn't ever actually act. Chelsey Garner just runs around. David Bonner is over the top at times and a little unbelievable in the role he is given, and that makes Brian Gallagher WAY over the top (a killer in hunting boots...OH NO). Chris Ready gives an average (key word is average) performance. Nikki Bell doesn't belong in ANY movie EVER because she can't act and is also good to laugh at. Seriously, I don't even think she could be in an adult movie where you don't even need to act. And Matt Nadu just stands around looking pretty. Next, let's talk about the special effects: laughable. Was that tomato sauce or ketchup? I like Lauren Palmer's review below (evidently she did the effects). Her work is about as good as her grammar and command of the English language, which is to say VERY BAD. Next time you give your own movie a 10/10, make up a fake name or something.Then, let's talk about the editing: Who did this? I especially like the "party scene" where the same footage is just played over and over again. It's day. Then it's night. Then, it's day. Then, it's morning. Then, we skip day. Then, it's night again. I CAN'T KEEP TRACK.It's 77 minutes long. And 77 minutes too long if you ask me. It's boring. And I laughed through most of it, which you aren't supposed to do in a horror movie. I especially laughed when Brian Gallagher delivers his never ending speech that belongs in some classroom, not in a movie.The blooper reel is proof none of these people should be making movies, and it's sad that they said this was their "best shot" because then you know they are really bad at this.

The last reviewer, who gave it a ten out of ten, for some reason was written by someone who has the same name as the person who actually did the special effects for this low-budget horror. Although they were actually decent, the film has nothing we haven't seen before. It suffered quite heavily from slow pacing and some of the dumbest decisions I've ever seen people do in a movie.Example: Wounded girl gets into car after running from crazy killer. Wounded girl tells driver (bloody and hysterical btw): Whatever you do don't stop, just drive. Driver says: There's someone on the road. I'm just gonna pull over...I mean, really?Us horror buffs may accept a lot of stupid decisions (going into dark basements etc) but some of the things people do in this movie is just taking it a bit far, yes?Only reason it gets a three is because there a couple of creative kills that I enjoyed. You may fast forward some in between the goodies though...