Arachnoquake (2012)

Awesome, but a bit strange title; definitely not an awesome movie. An earthquake strikes New Orleans and from the cracks in the earth jump giant white spiders that can spit fire and cause a world of hurt given the chance to bite or sting. They contain enough "gas", they explode when shot. So here we have tourists trying to run away from, when not fighting back, squashing the menacing spiders. These CGI spiders hop and jump about and rack up a body count at a good clip. You can say there is plenty of action. As far as acting...at a minimum and horrible. There is humor attempted and it is as painful as the spiders. A very small budget was applied to this project filmed mostly in Baton Rouge, not New Orleans. SyFy channel once again passes off schlock as horror. Some familiar faces show up for this one, including Tracy Gold, Grant James, Ethan Phillips and Edward Furlong, who absolutely gives the most hideous performance in an awkward role. Along for the ride are: Megan Annabel, Bug Hall, Tiara Ashleigh and Earl Maddox. To be fair, this movie is a time filler.

ARACHNOQUAKEYes... it is as bad as it sounds.This film is brilliant for comedy value. It is a B-movie with b-movie acting and b-movie effects.The film is about a lot of giant fire breathing spiders running wild killing people.The story is terrible. Nothing really makes any sense. Nothing is explained.The acting is so bad in this film, it is no wonder I have not heard of most of the cast... but there is one famous face in this. Edward Furlong... oh dear. His career has gone downhill. The thing is, he is a good actor. I obviously loved him in Terminator 2, and he also made a fantastic movie called Brainscan... But I don't know what he was thinking when he agreed to be in this. His acting is as bad as everyone elses!Also, in this movie his character is married with 2 children... his wife looks old enough to be him Mum and his 2 kids look old. I mean, it looks like he had these 2 kids when he was 8 years old! I can't help but think that casting was not very good.There was some brilliant comedy moments in this. If you like movies that doesn't really take itself too seriously, then you will love this.I really enjoyed it, but only because it had me laughing at it from beginning to end.I will give this film 5 out of 10.But it only gets that rating because I have not laughed that much for a long time.For more reviews, please like my Facebook page:https://www.facebook.com/pages/Ordinary-Person-Movie- Reviews/456572047728204?ref=hl

Another entry in the trash of SyFy flicks. I only gave it a shot because Edward Furlong was in it, you know, the young dude from Terminator 2 (1991). From the beginning the spiders are on-screen and that was rather okay because the action came in from the beginning. But on the other hand it looked ridiculous due the CGI used.In the beginning the spiders are rather small and believable but once they are throwing fire (CGI) towards humans it becomes laughable. After that the spiders become bigger and bigger and it all ends with a King Kong situation.The story if there was any was stupid and the acting wasn't convincing at all. If you pop up a beer with friends then you will laugh a lot but further this doesn't give us anything at all.Gore 0/5 Nudity 0/5 Effects 1/5 Story 1/5 Comedy 0/5

Arachnoquake (2012) * 1/2 (out of 4) The latest film to debut on the SyFy channel has New Orleans being hit by an earthquake, which causes the ground to crack open and soon large, pink spiders are attacking people. Those expecting a fun monster mash are going to be disappointed because this film is pretty bad from the word go and it never picks up any speed. You know, I understand that horror films need dumb characters to do dumb things but there's a certain line you shouldn't cross in terms of dumbness and this film crosses that line and makes it's own new line. I really couldn't believe how stupid all of these characters were. So, you see a giant pink spider coming at you so what do you do? Well, of course, you pick it up. There are six or seven small spiders about the size of a baseball card coming after you so what do you do? Step on them? You'd think so but the characters here just jump around like little children. The entire film pretty much doesn't have an ounce of brains going for it and this doesn't cause any "fun" but instead it makes you grow more and more aggravated because the characters just become annoying. Tracey Gold gives a decent performance here and it's a shame her character wasn't a lead. Edward Furlong from T2 fame is on hand here playing the father (!?!?) of two teenagers. He really doesn't give a "good" performance but it was fun seeing him again. ARACHNOQUAKE is pure dumbness from start to finish but there are a few good moments with most of them being the bubble, explosion and gore that happens when a spider starts to come out of a human body. It's a shame that the director and writer didn't exploit this a little bit more and given fans more bang for their buck. The CGI effects are obviously very cheap but I thought the design of the spiders were nice. Still, this is certainly a film that can be skipped as there are much better killer spider movies out there.