The Million Eyes of Sumuru (1967)

The IMDb-rating (3.0 at the time I write this review) is plain ridiculous, that's why I give this movie a write-up. Of course, it's cheesy and silly but no different from other spy comedies from the 60s, say the Matt Helm flicks. And the production values are much higher; there's good location shooting and beautiful sets, plus good camera work (I watched the wide-screen version). Capable acting there is little, but the pretty female cast makes a bit up for that. The music is nothing special and the movie definitely has some lengths despite the snappy running-time.SPOILERS: The main problem is probably that the "hero" never gets much to do (James Bond would have freed himself in the final act - well, I guess our hero waiting passively for his rescue is part of the spoof but it was a lousy decision, tension-wise). Secondly, the villain organisation, basically a small army of nubile young women aimed at creating a men-free reign, is doomed to fail from the start (in fact, one wonders how it ever got that big) because none of the pretty members, from leader to lowest rung, is able to keep her wits about her when left alone with a healthy male. That's a nice running gag at first but gets simply ridden to death. So overall, it's just a minor B-movie despite the high production values.But if you like other 60s spy comedies (say, Liquidator or the Matt Helm outings), you'll like this one well enough. It's even a valid spoof of early James Bond in many scenes.

No I did not rate this higher than the IMDb norm of 2/10.The only thing going for it was an expensive location in Hong Kong and the chance to see a fleeting glimpse of one of my 1960s pinup film actresses, Krista Nell, who unfortunately gets bumped off on the vengeful orders of Su-Maru (Shirley Eaton of "Goldfinger" fame) in the first reel.The full length film is now available (as at 22/3/14) on youtube.com.Comically there are parts dubbed in German in what was then a British Crown Colony!In the 1960s there were many James Bond spoofs which were in fashion in film circles with Connery lookalikes playing secret agents who had hoards of beautiful female actresses lusting after him.Despite many shots and high body count in the big shootout at the end not one actor showed any sort of wound.Filmed very much tongue-in-cheek with throw away Bond like lines.

Just as Prehistoric Women is the ultimate vehicle for Martine Beswick and the favorite film of her cult following, so is this the ultimate for Shirley Eaton - and many of us who are Eaton cultists are also Beswick devotees, as one was a brunette and the other a blonde, but all difference ends there - slinky, sophisticated English lovelies who in the 1960s each had a second female lead in a bond film (Beswick in Thunderball, Eaton in Goldfinger) and each went on to play deliciously decadent bad girls, particularly in their best remembered films. Here's the pity - while Prehistoric Women can easily be picked up on video or DVD, Su Maru remains difficult (to say the least) to find. Even among those semi-secretive distributors of great-bad B movies on the Net. Anyway, the old Sax Rohmer story is updated and given a 60s feel, with George Nader as a flimsy James Bond wannabe and Frankie Avalon (?!), fresh from the Beach movies, as his sidekick. (By the way, about 20 years ago, Avalon swore to me that Eaton was the most beautiful single woman he'd ever seen in his life, and that as incredible as she is on film, cinema doesn't do her justice - looking at her in person, at least back then, made you want to pass out. I believe him!) She's the leader of an all (gorgeous) girl conspiracy to take over the world, and at one point hangs George Nader in a jail cell and whips him. (Leather whip, of course - this may be where 'mainstream kink' all began). Each of her associates is a knockout, all wearing black satin and leather costumes, and they seduce then kill men. This is a decidedly anti-feminist vision, made perhaps in response to the then-recent publication of Betty Friedan's The Feminine Mystique, which kicked off the modern woman's movement. Lots of near nudity, as this was made just before the ratings system fell apart and full frontal would be allowed about two years later. A tease, but lots of fun, very campy, and played with tongue firmly in cheek.

This flick was always on a "double-bill" because nobody in it (including one of the leads, Frankie Avalon - who starred in Beach Movies before this) was REALLY A-list quality talent, except for the beautiful Ms. Shirley Eaton (Painted-gold girl in GOLDFINGER). The plot is wack-city on a bad dexedrine trip with ancient greed or something. The sacriligious testament to Z-movie cultures exemplifies NOTHING! This flick isn't even EVIL or robotic, it's just a zenith of confusion ("plot"-wise), let alone there's some beautiful babes spouting Amazon-like platitudes about illusions of purity.Needless to say, this sounds like a turkey (and technically it is), but it's an exploitation film without any known characteristic (sex, violence, bikers, horror..etc.) and manages to make you believe that these characters are actually believing what they're saying. George Nader was never great shakes as an actor, but had a lengthy career without having "known" talent or good hair. Shirley Eaton, one of the brightest, most beautiful and enchanting Brits of the 50's and 60's never gets to show something. But you have to check this one out. I give it a high (7) for this kind of thing rating, ..only because everyone involved SEEMS convinced it's a REAL PLOT! Anyway, give it a shot (if you can find it). Quite enjoyable in a sleepy, demented way.