Witchcraft VII: Judgement Hour (1995)

Witchcraft 7: Judgment Hour (1995) 1/2 (out of 4) Everyone's beloved hero Will Spanner (David Byrnes) is back but this time he needs a break from all those creepy and mean Satan worshipers. So, this time out Will decides to battle a vampire cult who like taking their clothes off as much as they can (and biting people every once in a while). As I make my way through the series it's clear that the films themselves aren't very good but thankfully up until this one they were at least entertaining in a bad way. This seventh entry is just downright awful on pretty much every level and this includes the non-stop sex scenes, all of which are shot in slow motion, which means a longer running time and more torture for the viewer. What we've basically got is about ten-minutes worth of plot and the rest sex scenes. Even for such a cheap series the adult scenes were usually at least somewhat erotic but that's not the case here. The scenes are shot very ugly, usually just a close-up of the girl's butt and none of them create any sparks. Even the nudity gets boring around the twenty-minute mark but I'm going to guess that this contains more nudity than most of the softcore pictures from this era. The vampire stuff is all rather silly and adds up to nothing. Byrnes really doesn't bring any energy to the role of Will and the supporting cast is just as forgetful. What's strange about this entry is that they bring back the two detectives from the previous film but this time they're played by different actors. That's not too shocking as this happens in low-budget movies but the weird thing is that one of the detectives is now played as a woman!

*SPOILER ALERT* *SPOILER ALERT*I had rented "Witchcraft 7" because it had a vicious looking vampire on the video box cover. Perhaps I should have snuck a peek at the previous entries in the series to get a taste for where the movie was heading. The video box screamed vampires but the movie had only boobies. Lots of breasts. A thousand or so. OK, that's a slight exaggeration. Very slight. Horror is nowhere in sight. There is just softcore sex and breasts. I'm not complaining too loudly mind you. If I was going to get cheated out of a horror flick, this was the best way. Don't rent it though if you are expecting horror. I now know what to expect from the "Witchcraft" series. I may have to check out a few more.

Will Spaner the warlock from parts 1-6 returns yet again for what has now got to be the longest (and worst) running horror film series in history. This entry finds Will having to do battle with some pesky vampires who are now overrunning LA.Lousy premise is almost laughable, the acting and effects even worse. Directed with a bit more flair then the first 6, but still this series at this point is only about sex and this one has plenty of it. Unrated; Strong Sexual Content, Violence, Profanity, and Nudity.

This was supposed to be the final sequel in this awful series of films. But, guess what? They lied.Story involves Will Spaner fighting off a vampire that is trying to close a business deal that could give him great powers. The stories in this series just keep getting worse and worse. The acting and direction are non-existent. The film looks cheap and the effects are some of the worse ever. I wonder what the filmmakers are trying to do? Make more sequels for a series of films, than any other series of films. Avoid this film at all cost. Rating: 1 out of 10.