Big Tits Zombie (2010)

I didn't hate "Big Tits Dragon", though it isn't the same sort of bad movie I enjoy watching. I love films that TRY to be good but fail miserably in every way (such as "The Room" or "Plan 9 From Outer Space"). "Bit Tits Dragon", on the other hand tries to be a horrible movie. While there is enough to mildly recommend it for some audiences, it's not a good bad film—it's just a cheesy film that tries to be terrible.Before I talk about the plot and what I thought of the film, I should mention that, not surprisingly, it's NOT a family-friendly film. With a title like this, this should come as absolutely no surprise to anyone. However, what surprised me was how seldom the film showed nudity. It's not a soft-core porno film even though the title sure sounds like one. There are a few breast shots and a wildly sick shot involving a flame thrower (you have to see it to believe it), but it's clearly a mild rated-R film—even with all the blood. And, speaking of blood, the film uses so much fake blood and guts but it never seemed the least bit realistic. While I wouldn't recommend this film to teens (or anyone with taste), it won't warp you for life!The first half of "Big Tits Dragon" has almost no plot. Five not particularly talented strippers are out of work and bored in a small town in Japan. They mostly sit around in their underwear and complain or try to make money. Only about halfway into the film does anything of consequence happen. One of them notices a locked door behind a curtain in their dressing room. It leads to a tunnel to a weird home where one of them discovers The Book of the Dead. She invokes a spell that unleashes a plague of over-acting zombies on the Earth. Then, a battle ensues between strippers and Zombies until the Blue Ogre arrives from Hell to put everything right (this is, by far, the best scene in the film).The acting is very bad and the plot very silly. But, the film isn't 100% terrible because it knows it's bad and makes no bones about it. In many ways, it reminds me of a Troma film—one that wants to be a bad film and revels in cheesiness. And, some of the film is actually clever and funny (such as when sushi turns into zombie sushi). But most of it is rather stupid and it's not the sort of film you want to let your mother or friends know you've watched because they'll probably have a lower opinion of you! Silly, occasionally sexy and quite dumb—this is Bit Tits Zombie in a nut shell. This film is NOT for everyone and is best for someone who is obsessed with the zombie genre. For anyone else, this is easy to skip—and your brain might just thank you!

First of all, I must say that whomever came up with this title for a movie should be applauded, what a deviant movie title; "Big Tits Zombie", though the Japanese title is "Kyonyû doragon: Onsen zonbi vs sutorippâ 5"). So this movie outright appeals to most men. However, I will say that the reason why I bought it from Amazon was because it was a zombie movie and because it was a Japanese produced zombie movie, those movies usually tend to be so bad that they are actually funny and enjoyable.And this movie was no different. Sure, it was mostly focused on showing off pretty women and their breasts (yeah, hence the name of the movie), but despite this sleazy approach, then the movie was still fun to watch.The story? Well forget about that, because there is almost no story going on here. The story is a side dish, so to speak, or at least it was for me. I was too busy laughing at the extremities of the zombies and the effects. There was a story, though, about a group of exotic dancers coming to stumble over a collection of occult and vile relics in the basement of their club, and accidentally unleash a wave of ravenous zombies upon the world.As for the zombies, well, they just cracked me up. I loved how almost all of them were dressed in outrageous, abnormal outfits that you would not see people wear at all anywhere. But it worked out well, because it brought a nice sense of comedy and weird twist to the movie. And for some reason, then in all Japanese zombie movies, the dead people (zombies) turn to a very strange shade of grey when they die, and for some odd reason, it is always only the face that turns grey, the rest of the body remains the normal skin color. I find that hilarious, and it always cracks me up.The effects in "Big Tits Zombie" were questionable at best, but that was part of the charm, because there was a thorough all-out Amateur touch to the movie. Don't get me wrong, because I mean that in the best way possible. It was such a pleasure to see a low budget movie of this type turning out to be this enjoyable. There was even scenes where you could see the wires holding up various tendrils in some scenes, and it was so painstakingly obvious. I had to rewind for that scene twice, just to see it again, because it was so funny; it was so amazingly fake and bad (but in a good way).Having an almost all-women cast, "Big Tits Zombie" is of course all about showing off skin and pretty women. And true enough, there is a lot of scantily dressed women in the movie, and of course the obligatory nudeness (check the title of the movie again, if you are in doubt why this was necessary). Personally, then I thought that Sola Aoi (playing Lena Jodo) and Mari Sakurai (playing Maria) were the ones who carried the most weight of the movie.There was one scene that was so extreme that I almost didn't believe that I saw it. I will not give away what it is here, because you have to see it yourself, but I will give you this much, so you know what to keep a look for and wait for; Nene has been bitten by a zombie and is on bed turning into a zombie, then she does this back arch, and then..."Big Tits Zombie" is a zombie comedy, so think a Japanese version of "Shaun of the Dead" gone awry, and with a smaller budget. But with that in mind, don't let that scare you off. If you are a zombie aficionado like me and enjoy Asian movies, then give "Big Tits Zombie" a go, because it is so outrageously extreme that it might just entertain you. I know I was laughing a lot throughout the movie.And as a side note, I just read on the back of the DVD cover that Sola Aoi (playing Lena) and Risa Kasumi (playing Ginko) are Japanese adult stars, so that just makes the movie even more absurdly extreme!

Was I expecting too much from this film? Doubtful. All I really wanted was what the title promised. Big tits and zombies. There are some nice breasts on show, but they aren't that big, nor are they around for very long. This is the kind of cheap Japanese video film that is shot in a few days. The zombies are also not very impressive. Some just have grey faces, making all these zombies look like they died in a fire. Others have horrendous masks a child would be embarrassed to wear at Halloween. Some of the zombies don't even make sense, with one guy donning a skeleton mask, even though he only turned in the last few hours. The film is meant to be laughed at, certainly, but it needed more ridiculous fun to succeed, Successful parts included the running down of a resident, zombie sushi, and the main villain being particularly pleasing to the eye. Sometimes it's camp fun, like seeing the strings levitate a head, but when the film can't even meet quality standards regarding the tits or the zombies, then it's time to move on.

Since watching the yawn-inducting film Teenage Hooker Becomes A Killing Machine,I really had to push myself in giving this,very similar looking film a try.Happily,with the films good mix of comedy horror and a light Grindhouse touch ,I realised that this was a film that I was very happy to have tried out. The plot: With a group of five strippers struggling to make any cash at the current location,the girls decide that it is time to change locations.Luckally for them,a new building has come on the market at a super-cheap price,partly due to the recent owner having killed himself in the building.Looking around their new self-owned Strip Club,one of the girls finds a hidden library in the building.Unwisely deciding to read one of the books out loud,one of the girls ends up opening the gates of hell,and becomes the general for the army of the undead!.As the undead start taking over the city,the four other girls decide that it is time they fight back. View on the film: Although the film does not feature as much nudity,as would be expected for a movie with this title,writer/director Takao Nakano makes up for it by giving the film a brilliant,primary colour-soaked comic book look,with the blood spillings from the Zombies,almost looking like it is about to jump off the page.Along with his fun, light-Gindhouse style screenplay,Nakano's film is also given an extra coat of paint from his five leading ladies,who as well as looking very beautiful,as give the film a Bright 'N Cheerful nature,with lead actress Sola Aol giving a very good performance as the main Zombie hunter,who kills the Zombies in the most stylish way possible. Final view on the film: A fun film,with a surprisingly cheerful look,that also has a great,bold,colourful comic-book style from director Nakano,and a stunningly beautiful (and surprisingly good) cast.