Tarzan and the Lost City (1998)

Africans can turn themselves into swarms of bees or giant snakes and back so why can't they easily win a fight with human whites? I was shocked at how stupid & incompetent Africans were portrayed as, and I'm not even black. Monkeys invented kung fu and taught it to Tarzan, insulting Asians. It's nice that an actress with a strong facial resemblance to a monkey gets work but surely the film-makers were making fun of Jane March by casting her as the girlfriend of Tarzan "the Apeman". An object thrown at a bad guy was so heavy that it knocked him over, yet Tarzan was strong enough to toss it across at him, defying the laws of physics and insulting all us viewers. Tarzan taught himself to read, insulting everyone on the planet.

Why was this movie made? Surely it was sold as a tax write-off to some sap investor. It's hard to say that a movie has NO redeeming qualities, but I certainly missed any that were here. The acting is flat. The characters are completely uninteresting. (Will poor Burroughs never get a break in the cinema world?) The story is a recycling of old Johnny Weissmuller material, and the gimmicks are just tired.There must be a venue for Casper Van Dien somewhere, but this ain't it. He looks (all buffed and shiny) and acts like a lifeguard at some Beverly Hills hotel where pretty boys hang around hoping to be discovered and showing his girlfriend the cool place where he works. Jane March is a bore, and the villains are decidedly un-menacing. Even the Cheetah substitute is a bust. Wearing Jane's clothes, come on! How old is that? And the camera-work can't even make an interesting palette out of the most photogenic continent on the planet.Tarzan gets some primal Vulcan eco-mind-meld from a Witch Doctor to return to Africa, and, alas, we're back into a plot involving the overused 'Atlantis' myth pushed way over the edge. (Try 'She', with the not-so-boring Ursula Andress, if you want a sort-of interesting 'lost city' movie.) The special effects are pathetic, even by 1998 standards. The apes look like refugees from the Crosby/Hope 'Road to Zanzibar.' The forty year-old effect (courtesy of Ray Harryhausen) of making soldiers out of bones suggests that the makers of this film were completely bereft of original ideas of what to do next. When Harryhausen used this device in his pioneering efforts back in the sixties, he had the stunning scores of Bernard Herrmann to back up the effect-sticks, percussion and muted brass clicking a menacing little jig as the skeletal soldiers fought Jason or Sinbad. This movie tries this trick with nothing visually or musically to underpin it. It is just sad padding.Supposedly some of the 'violence' was removed so that younger kids could see the movie. Unless they had been raised in a cave, even they would know what would happen when the bad guy tried to sit in the throne-it happens every time the villains get their comeuppance in an Indiana Jones movie. I regret to say I paid money to see this movie in its theatrical release. When I saw it again on cable, it was every bit as bad as I remembered, if not worse. If this is 'a new Tarzan for a new generation', then it is a generation missing a chromosome.'Danger, Will Robinson! Avoid, Avoid!.'

I enjoyed this film. It was nice to jump PAST the point where Tarzan was discovered, to a point where he had left the jungle and returned to England for socialization. Casper is an intelligent, grunt-free version of Tarzan who returns to the jungle after getting a psychic call "home" from his shaman friend. The movie remained focused on the goal set at the beginning, to save the Lost City from a power hungry treasure hunter. I didn't feel lost or that any of the events were fluff. There is a nice display of magic which was presented well by the special effects team. All of the acting was well done and not overdramatized. I would very much like to see the story continued by this team of creators and actors.

Okay, I'll admit to being an old fart who grew up with Tarzan as a grunting Johnny Weisemuller. But I also read all the books some 40 years ago and should have a fair grasp of the character.It started okay, with Tarzan being called back to Africa and doing a few cool things to harass the bad guys. Then the downhill slide began and ended in a bottomless pit. Let's see... Tarzan was needed because a medicine man who can turn himself into a swarm of bees and create warriors out of thin air needed help. Uh, ever consider stinging the bad guys to death? It was nice to hear the old yell again, but not worth sitting through this.Has anyone mentioned that the gorilla costumes were on a par with the one the Three Stooges used?