Smothered (2016)

Horror that is, indeed, not in the way you might expect. Comical, not one bit, except if you are rotten inside or in a drug induce haze. I stop watching 46 minutes in, 24 of which where I try to justify the existence of such a piece. So tedious, badly done and overwhelmingly boring that I ended up laughing, laughing at the poor Scared Movie fan who paid $3.99 to buy it out of the leftover bin at the flee market delighted at the idea of such an epic actors reunion. John Schneider should have taken is buddies on a all you can eat buffet trip and spare us this garbage self indulgence. Editing with is non-linear story telling, post-production with is distasteful choice of music are serious contestants for a Golden Raspberry. 3.4 out of 10

A hard film to review, overall.First, as I have mentioned before in a few of my 1100+ reviews, most film-makers secretly yearn for the "trifecta" of movie making -- which is low budget, small cast, single location. Since film (like everything else in our society, and I mean LITERALLY everything) is a business, even a moderate audience for such a low-budget film means profits, which means you are a hot ticket, which means you get new money for more product. Which means you have a new career.So in this light Schneider (and I am a fan of his TV work) did the smart thing all the way. He not only went after the Holy Grail of film making (as above) but did so with a sharp concept (name horror stars hoisted on their own petard) with many of the cast playing against type. Clever. Very clever.So what went wrong? Not much really. The problem is that, with such careful and meticulous preparation, this film can never aspire to be more than it was originally designed to be.In other words, you have (perhaps) an instant "cult" film, designed to appeal to a youngish demographic that "gets" films that deconstruct themselves, and are looking to fill some two hours with harmless and forgettable fun.On the other hand, this is not a true horror film (like Conjuring) not a true comedy (like the films Leslie Mann appears in) and is at best a super-lite version of the "ensemble films" that the late Robert Altman was known for.Not bad for a first effort. But you are not going to see it mentioned at the Oscars.

Few people would have believed that JOHN SCHNEIDER known earlier in the 1980s as Bo Duke (Dukes of Hazzard) and later as Jonathen Kent (Smallville) would have conceived, written, and directed a horror/comedy film, but in fact he did! I was privileged to view this iconic film at Mad Monster Party at Charlotte, NC back in March, 2014. The full to capacity crowd, standing room only, howled at the fun parts, and gasped at the horror scenes, laughed at the insider jokes, and clapped at the close of the film with wild cheering and many "yah-hoos and yee-hahs!" Without giving spoilers here, true 1970s/1980s horror fans will have a great time watching their favorite icons from famous movies such as Halloween, Christine, The Hills Have Eyes, Texas Chainsaw Murders, and many more. John has proved himself as an A-1 director who understands gruesome humor speckled with shocking scenes to delight even new movie goers who have never seen a horror movie before. Being in show business from the tender age of 8 years old, John Schneider has proved that all his years of experiences and performances including 14 studio albums and 4 number-one hit singles, plus numerous Broadway (Grand Hotel, Chicago) and touring dates have culminated in not just this film, but in several other films on the horizon - Like Son, Anderson Bench, Inadmissible, and others. Watch out for more exciting and tantalizing films from John Schneider Studios shot in his 58-acres of pristine property in Holden, Louisiana!

I had the great pleasure of watching the premier last night at the Scare-a-Con at the Turning Stone Casino in New York.The film was an absolute hoot, and had the audience laughing and gasping at the same time. The horror icons (too many to list - see the cast list) did their jobs admirably and with perfect execution. The camera work and post-production work was very well done. My only concern was the non-linear time line jumps, but as John Schneider pointed out in the subsequent Q&A session, it keeps one focused on the film, but in the same breath he assured us that a completely linear version will be on the DVD when it is released.In short, I'm probably going straight to Hell for laughing at a lot of this stuff, but I guess I'll see you all there. You'll know me, I'll be the guy in the trench coat black-marketing ice cubes!RR