The Wicker Tree (2012)

Quite possibly the worst re-make of any film and quite possibly one of the worst films ever.

The original Wicker Man is well-loved by many Christians because there is a beautiful martyrdom of one of our own--and that's the whole point of our walk with Jesus, to take up our own crosses and follow him. Fast forward a few decades and we see the stupidity of the same director as he attempts to present Christianity as some dumbfuck American product in opposition to the religion of a superior Celtic people as represented by the snobbish and petty lords and ladies of Lothain Park, Scotland. First, the Christianity represented by the "Cowboys For Christ" may be typical of much of the Protestant world in the Deep South, but has nothing to do with actual Christianity. And, whoever wrote the cowboy's script for the bar scene didn't know the difference between Catholicism and Protestantism. No Baptist or other Protestant in his right mind would ever refer to Mary as "the Queen of Heaven." That statement would be considered idolatrous. So, that's as far as I got. Apparently the director is trying to make Christians at large look like buffoons. Instead, he's made himself out to be an ignoramus. If I could have given this film a Zero rating, I would have. Schlock at its finest.

...and NOT in a good way. THE WICKER TREE is one of the most awful sequels in existence, a completely terrible movie made all the worse by the fact that THE WICKER MAN is one of the best British horror films in existence. I truly have no idea what Robin Hardy was thinking when he wrote and directed this; it looks like the man's talent left him many, many years ago.This time around, the action is set on the Scottish mainland, where a couple of American evangelists have turned up to preach their usual guff to the residents of a village. The American characters are one of the worst things about this; the acting is horrendous and they're saddled with the kind of goofy charm of an American PIE movie, not a supposed horror movie like this. They're completely at odds with the rest of the production.Elsewhere, the main thrust of the story of the first film is copied almost word for word, with a couple of (poor) twists to differentiate things. There's time for an extensive sub-plot to graphically portray what the "riding of the laddie" is all about, but I wonder why they bothered because it's hardly profound. Christopher Lee was meant to star in this but had to pull out due to ill health, with the reliable Graham McTavish (RAMBO) stepping in; Lee still appears but only in a brief greenscreen cameo. For once I'm glad he didn't appear for longer and debase himself with a leading role here.Former child actress Honeysuckle Weeks turns up, unrecognisably aged and forced to strip for the majority of her running time; you have to feel for her that things have come to this. But it's the tone of THE WICKER TREE that is so very, very wrong; that a sequel to one of the classics of British CINEMA, let alone the horror genre, made by the same writer/director of all people, should totally miss the mark and become this kind of mess. All you can do is shake your head and cry.

"The Wicker Tree" is the long awaited follow-up to the brilliant 1973 film "The Wicker Man," one of the best and most unusual thrillers ever made. Truth be told, we could have waited a little longer for this to appear...like forever. Writer/Director Robin Hardy has basically remade his original story with different characters, updating his Macguffin--crop failure in a remote Scottish village--in an interesting way. But that's largely where the similarity, and the interest, ends. Two young born-again Christians from Texas (Henry Garrett and Brittania Nicol) come to the Scottish village to perform--she's a pop singer--and try and save the souls of the poor Celts, but the inhabitants of the village have an ulterior motive. Garrett is bland as a goofy/slick, horny, cowboy yahoo, but Nicol is downright painful to watch and listen to. This could be the worst presentation of a supposedly talented singer on-screen since Patty Duke in "Valley of the Dolls." And while "The Wicker Man" (at least the uncut version) slowly and carefully builds its suspense and teases the audience just enough to keep them riveted, "The Wicker Tree" is so disjointed and confusing that one wonders if the scenes were edited together in the wrong order. What's more, some sequences are played for broad, almost "Carry On" style comedy, while others are apparently supposed to be sincere. Graham McTavish is good as the head of the community, the role Christopher Lee played in the original, and Lee himself shows up for about one minute in the most pointless cameo imaginable, there for no reason but to include him in the proceedings. Honeysuckle Weeks is also good in the "Willow" part as the town nympho, and knows how to not wear a costume. But undercutting everything, even the occasional well-staged and well-directed sequence, is the music. "The Wicker Man" was a semi-musical, using old and new folk song in an unusual, but enchanting way, utilizing clever musical scoring. John Scott's bombastic orchestral score for this one, however, is egregiously and annoyingly inappropriate at all times. Sometimes it sounds like an old 1970s Amicus movie score, and other times it sounds like bad imitation Bernard Herrmann. Never does it sound right. The ending of "The Wicker Tree," which echoes the ending of the original, has some rough power to it, but it's just not enough. While the basic idea behind this film is sound, the execution is sorely lacking.