The House Next Door (2006)

I first had the pleasure of seeing this rather elegant horror movie on my beloved Horror Channel and I immediately appreciated it's subtle approach and slow but steady build up of fear, and how you could feel that fear without truly seeing anything. No ghostly figures, no dark rushing shadows, just a rather great oppressive atmosphere of rising dread, and a series of unfortunate events...:2: I thought that before I reviewed the movie I would read the book it's based on. I did and I was very disappointed. It was way too depressing, not to mention long-winded, boring, and very weak. There was also an endless blatant and challenging snobbish arrogance to the entire thing that I didn't like either. I ultimately found it to be a better film than a book...:3: The tone and feel of the book was pretty much just like the movie, except for the following differences: Anita Sheehan doesn't kill herself, and is instead shocked into a permanent coma. Suzanna Greene doesn't just shoot her husband. First she shoots him, then her daughter(!), then herself. And possibly the biggest change, at the end, instead of blowing up the house with Kim the possibly demonic architect still inside, Walter and Col, after figuring out that is is somehow Kim causing the dire events, and not the house, quietly murder him and take his body to the basement of the house and then set the place on fire. Then the two of them, believing the house will not let them destroy it and live, sit and wait to see what will happen next. It sounds creepy, but it was a weak end to a weak book written by a snob, I thought...:4: I quite liked Lara Flynn's performance. She kind of makes the movie, in my book. So much better than her turn in Men in Black 2! And, consequently, the lips WERE pretty damn big...:5: I thought Noam Jenkins was just awesome as the anal, arrogant, and deliciously odious Mr Norman Greene. (that's Greene with an "E" and don't you forget it!)He's not quite as monstrous as the book version of the character. I found the guy so funny to watch with his uppity, almost camp delivery, appearance and overall demeanour. And that thing he said! I mean, when you've got a grown man repeatedly uttering the phrase: "What is wrong with this picture? What is wrong, tell me sister?!" It's a little silly, especially coming from this guy. To me a very intense and scary scene is when the long-suffering Anita Sheehan, very movingly played by Julie Stewart, sees the moment of her son's fiery death on a TV screen in high definition. It's a very serious scene, but I find it hard not to laugh at the poor woman's crazy reflection on the screen as she does look very funny! It makes for a very weird contrast! I also laugh at the bit where Mark Paul Gosselar gets kicked in the head!:6: I thought the theme of the malignant house of creeping evil thing was very well done. But uh, I personally just can't find a house scary to look upon. That house wasn't scary, it didn't look ominous, or magical, or anything remotely weird to me. It just looked like one of those ultra-modern, cold and ugly houses. No more frightening than a car, a closet, a pair of shoes, or a refrigerator! (Mr King!) Don't get me anywhere near a wicker basket, though! This is a little mild, a little cheap, and a little TV, it's still very enjoyable despite all that. Not a bad movie at all. Do you have the equipment to deal with it?

... is twofold. Firstly, it totally destroys, with a plodding, boring and mucousy script, a fine novel that Stephen King had singled out as one of the best horror stories of the last century in his essay "Danse Macabre" (1981). The second jolt comes from seeing Lara Flynn Boyle's lips slowly disintegrate all through the movie from the sheer weight of the collagen they are stuffed with. Her mouth gradually descends in her face in a very ominous and asymmetrical fashion, unsupported by facial muscles that are already rendered weak and useless from too many Botox injections. The end result is an inverted wedge of a mouth incapable of smiling or any other recognizable human expression. Those are the only things that qualify this mess as truly scary, if you don't count the sheer ugliness, vulgarity and faux-modern ordinariness of the house itself.

It would help to know why it took so long for a book as movie-ready' as "The House Next Door" to be adapted for film or television. The book was copyrighted in 1978. One reason could be problems designing 'the house'. The house in this Lifetime film is really so ugly that I can't imagine anyone buying it. In fact it's so ugly that someone would probably have come and destroyed it as soon as it was built.I'm not crazy about horror genre books, but this one was hard to put down when I came across it around ten years ago. The main characters are not the kind of people to look for anything occult in life, and this is one of the book's strengths. They are not people who would conclude that the architect was some type of demon..(or the devil personified) without witnessing and analyzing the events described so well in the book. However, it is a downbeat book for the most part, and I don't think that appeals to the people who run Lifetime. Maybe someone will come up with another version of the book in years to come. A better house..better music..a better screenplay and darker lighting...would certainly help.

I read the book a long time back and don't specifically remember the plot but do remember that I enjoyed it. Since I'm home sick on the couch it seemed like a good idea and Hey !! It is a Lifetime movie.The movie is populated with grade B actors and actresses.The female cast is right out of Desperate Housewives. I've never seen the show but there are lots of commercials for the show and I get the gist. Is there nothing original anymore? Sure, but not on Lifetime.The male cast are all fairly effeminate looking and acting but the girls need to have husbands I suppose.In one scene a female is struggling with a male, for her life, and what does she do??? Kicks him in the testicles. What else? Women love that but let me tell you girls something... It's not as easy as it's always made to look.It wasn't all bad. I did get the chills a time or two so I have to credit someone with that.