Full Fathom Five (1990)

It has been a long time since I saw this film, but many details are burned in my brain, due to the magnitude of their suckness. (I will say though, if you want a "bad for entertainment purposes" movie, Laser Mission (Lazer?) is even better) I picked it up because I had heard the title was good, but they must have been talking about the book. I watched it with my dad, and neither of us wanted to turn it off since, "Surely they the whole thing can't be this bad." We were wrong. It was. I distinctly recall the flame bursts with every gunshot were more like a lighter held sideways than a muzzle burst. The acting was, well, just plain bad. These people wanted to act, and darn if they weren't going to take advantage of their chance. I think that there were a total of 2 shots of a submarine; the side shot as it passed by under water, and the "breeching" shot- the latter possibly ripped from an early copy of "Red October". Each was used a minimum of 5 times. Much else I can't remember, other than I watched it for about 5 minutes thinking it had to get better. The rest of the time impressed that it actually got worse.

After 18 years, I still remember being surprised at how bad this movie was. I was in the Navy at the time, and (like several other posters here) could not believe that they couldn't even get the rank insignia correct. OK, so they had NOBODY around that could check this simple fact.But what I found really amazing was that the American flag wasn't even right! It had to have been more trouble and expense to get a flag custom-made (although incorrectly) than to just pick one up somewhere. Apparently they somehow found enough Botox to freeze Michael Moriarty's entire face; they couldn't find a US flag somewhere? What a waste of perfectly good filmstock, especially coming out the same year as "The Hunt for Red October".

This is the worst Navy movie I've ever seen. I'm a Navy veteran, and although many Navy movies are inaccurate as far as terminology, ship/weapon capabilities, procedures, crew behavior, etc., I cut them some slack because Hollywood knows that most people are not familiar with these things. And, since the story is fictional anyway, dramatic license takes precedence over accuracy. Fine, I can live with that.What I can't live with is this abortion of a movie. Dramatic license can't even make excuses for this haphazard production. It had a weak plot, the acting was horrible, and the action barely qualified as lame. The fight scenes (choreographed so badly that you can actually see the actors pulling their hits and aiming wide), the explosions and damage to the sub (yeah, OK, not going there), and all the neat stuff catching fire and falling out of place (mostly air or oxygen tanks), were all so horribly carried out that they simply weren't believable. And of course, the bad guys had to do something totally senseless like count down to their moment of glory, making sure that the good guys had lots of time to annihilate them.Aside from that, the terminology, the equipment, and uniforms, most notably the rank insignia, bore no resemblance to anything I ever saw in my tour. What was the CO's rank, anyway, Super-Lieutenant? For the year of this movie's production, 1990, there is no excuse for this kind of inaccuracy, not even budget. (How much would it cost to use the correct rank insignia?) Ordinarily, military technical advisors are high ranking officers, but any deck seaman from USS Neversail could have provided better technical guidance than was given in this movie. Weapons consoles could have been something better than Zenith Z-248 computers with EGA monitors using corny graphics for about the same amount of money.It's a wonder that cable channels are even willing to waste the air time necessary to broadcast this... thing. I encourage anyone who sees it to watch it as long as you can take it, just for an educational experience on how to not make movies.

Submarines are supposed to blow ballast in order to surface, but that couldn't save this one from taking the plunge to the bottom. Other commenters have noted the low budget. That is too kind. There is no excuse for this waste of celluloid. The technical advisor (if there really was one!) had to be asleep or high. They were using comic book tactics and terminology that no self-respecting military member would. For heaven's sake, they were using Navy ROTC cadet insignia on the Khaki uniforms (a minor point I agree, but it's highly reflective of the overall low production quality). If you see this one listed in your program guide or on the shelf of your local video rental, do yourself a big favor, SKIP IT. Thank goodness I saw this on cable and didn't waste any money on a rental. If you like submarine movies, look for ANY OTHER one. If I could score this movie a (.5) out of 10 I would. But with IMDB's system I can only give it a 1 out 10.