Bikini Girls on Dinosaur Planet (2005)
Softcore erotica star Misty Mundae is one of the main attractions of the campy and sexy BIKINI GIRLS ON DINOSAUR PLANET, which recalls Raquel Welch and the stop-motion creatures of ONE MILLION YEARS B.C. A pair of time traveling aliens find themselves on a strange planet, where the environment is exactly as it was millions of years ago on Earth. While exploring this unique place, they stumble across three primitive babes (Mundae and other softcore stars Ruby LaRocca and Lilly Tiger), who quickly engage the aliens in a steamy cave-lesbian love fest. But will the rampaging, stop-motion dinosaurs roaming the land interrupt their prehistoric passion?
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Absolutely no dinosaurs. Seriously. I watched this entire film and there wasn't a single velociraptor. Not one. There were so many opportunities for dinosaur. I mean, lesbians are great, but they're not as good as a tyrannosaurus Rex. How can you classify a planet as 'Dinosaur' without any dinosaurs. If there were dinosaurs and they were lesbian dinosaurs that would be fine but lesbians without any dinosaurs is misleading at best. Absolutely no dinosaurs. Seriously. I watched this entire film and there wasn't a single velociraptor. Not one. There were so many opportunities for dinosaur. I mean, lesbians are great, but they're not as good as a tyrannosaurus Rex. How can you classify a planet as 'Dinosaur' without any dinosaurs. If there were dinosaurs and they were lesbian dinosaurs that would be fine but lesbians without any dinosaurs is misleading at best.
Bikini Girls on Dinosaur Planet is the story of alien anthropologists come to Earth in it's primitive past to study prehistoric lesbian societies. It's soft-core porn so I can live without a plot, that isn't my gripe... it's everything else: the girls aren't attractive (they range from 3-5 on a scale to 10), the fake sex isn't titillating and the costumes look like someone ripped up a jungle print bed sheet.The fake sex is so fake it's laughable. We watch a tedious 5 minutes of a cavegirl licking another cavegirl's breast, another tedious 5 minutes of cavegirl grinding another cavegirl's face into her lower stomach (it's supposed to be oral sex), more tedious minutes watching a cavegirl jabbing a fake bone under a cavegirl's left butt cheek while said girl lays with her legs open (bone dildo sex I guess). And worst of all, even the kissing is fake with the girls occasionally touching tongue tips and maybe bumping lips.Maybe I'm radical here but why bother doing a movie like this with fake sex. Hire some real porn stars and edit the sex content down to where you want it; it might be lame still, but at least it would be real.
In spite of the 2005 date, this enter is much older. I do not know this for a fact but the fact that Tina Krause, billed in it as Mia Copia, should attest to that fact. Unlike what my moronic brother from Canada stated about this film, it has very little plot but if you are watching it for plot, then there is something wrong with you. Notable in this film is Ruby Larocca, not for her acting but because she is naked a lot in this featurette. Misty Mundae and Tiger Lilly float around with no purpose except to do Ruby Larocca. Tina Krause also adds her charms but not as much as Ruby Larocca does. All the actresses are naked in full frontal fashion and bump and grind a lot throughout the hour. Not Shakespeare but why would you expect it to be.
You can never go wrong with the staff picks here.This movie has it all. I recommend to anyone looking for a great night in.Beauty, brains, and a plot that kicks ass.Misty Mundae as Oook and Lilly Tiger as Una hold together this thrill a minute pile driver of a flick.Watch IT Remember IT Watch it Again IT rocks from start to finishIF you find the plot hard to follow just rewind and start again, if you still can't figure it this movie is not for you.This is not just another Girls gone wild, trip to cancun, this is the real deal