The Great Land of Small (1986)

I can't believe how many children from the late eighties were freaked out by this movie. The scene of the people being swallowed by the "slimo" monster haunted me since I was a little kid, until I wasn't sure if it was actually from a movie or something I dreamed! So glad this bizarre movie actually exists. Not sure if I will show it to my kids though . . .

I do understand how movies can be loved if you see them at a right age as a child - but lets truly discuss this as a family movie - it is awful - long slow sequences where nothing happens - just long wide shots of bad actors walking through fields. Bad special effects, terrible script - the director was Czech and couldn't speak English and it shows. But once the kids are taken to this "magical" land of Small - it is such a joke - it looks like a bunch of Cirque De Soleil cast offs are performing in front of a closed down museum - that's it. And then people slide down a chute into a hole and a slow deformed blob rises up (Slime-O) and demands more people. There is no connection between the kids and any of the characters and I can see why some people comment that the movie scared them as kids - the "man-dog" is creepy, Fritz is kind of creepy, lots of filthy carny looking people, etc. And the kids do that bad kid acting thing where EVERY line is delivered with the same enthusiastic sing-song. Man - what a disaster - this makes The Peanut Butter Solution look like Spielberg.

My sister and I watched this movie as children. With it's colorful, comic events and adventure, it became our favorite. Now we have children of our own and have been wanting to share this magic with them. We've spent the last couple years searching the internet for this title, but have made a mistake. We've been leaving out the word "Great" in our searches. Well, I've finally found it and I plan to share it with my children ASAP! I strongly recommend this movie for children of ALL ages. It's absolutely captivating!

To this day my family uses "The Great Land of Small" as the basis of comparison for any film we disapprove of. Though details elude our memory, we recall an inexplicably cheerful little man and people in colored saran wrap. We fail to see what was "great" about the land, other than a volcano that burped glitter. Years after viewing it, we need only say the title to send everyone into fits of laughter and gagging sounds. This earns "The Great Land of Small" our resounding two thumbs way down. Were we to judge it on a star ratings system, it would be a black hole.