One-Eyed Monster (2008)

Okay, so while lying in bed trying to die of an awful, awful cold, I ran across this title on the movie guide and after convulsing into uncontrollable laughter, thought "Naw....it just COULDN'T be about THAT!!!.." Oh, but it is!!!!! I saw Ron Jeremy's name and thought "now that name sounds familiar..." Suffice it to say, it is indeed THAT Ron Jeremy, the alltime super porn star of the 70s/80s who was known far and wide for his one-eyed monster.This is a very clever take on that theme. A porn film crew goes to Northern California to shoot a movie and gets trapped by a blizzard, a "shooting star" (no pun intended) and of course the one-eyed monster that positively terrorizes the entire crew. Believe it or not, the production values are quite good, elevating this waaay above cheesy. Moreover, the ensemble cast is excellent while the writing is crisp, witty, and hilarious. Of course it was also sick and twisted but I laughed until I cried. The outstanding performances, hands down, are those of Veronica Hart, an aging porn star who eventually "saves the day," (you will NOT be well for how she does it!!!), and a positively hilarious turn by none other than Charles Napier.Hate to be so cryptic but if your tastes run the gamut from the absurd to the sublime (this most assuredly being sublime), this should DEFINITELY be part of your collection. It is quite funny and though it didn't cure my cold, it sure made me forget I had one!! January 6, 2013 - watched again for about the 8th time - eeeeeeeeeeexcellent way to bring in the New Year!!!! - movie just rocks!!!! :0)

A hostile alien wreaks havoc on the cast and crew of an adult movie.I think the plot of this film more or less explains why it is such a great horror comedy. Ron Jeremy is taken over by an alien, his penis detaches itself... and then it starts killing people. I guess you could screw this up, but they did not.The film revolves around jokes -- dozens and dozens of jokes. You might think after two or three penis jokes it would get stale, but it never really does. Combined with a fair amount of gore and just a hint of sex, it keeps your attention and your laughter throughout. (For a film about a bunch of born stars, the nudity is very tame -- only one person is even partially naked, and then only for a minute.) Oh, and Charles Napier. Wow. A serious actor, with plenty of solid credits behind him... and he appears in a film where he not only fights a penis, but delivers one of the greatest monologue ever spoken about aliens in Vietnam. Priceless. This speech alone is worth the view.

You can't say that One Eyed Monster is the best movie ever made, then again you can't really say it's the worst movie ever made. This is just simply a horror spoof comedy, in which Ron Jeremy's now possessed penis goes around on an evil killing spree. The concept may seem very off the wall and stupid, but I have to admit that some of the scenes ended up being just hysterical. Now on the other hand the story wasn't the greatest, but with a legendary pornstar's penis running around just offing people, who really cares about the story, you would generally be more interested in seeing what the penis is going to do. All in all this is worth a watch once or if you really liked it, then twice. So honestly check it out for a good couple of laughs.6/10

One just has to love a movie that has balls! Oh, wait a minute, I didn't mean it that way! A rather typical "monster attacks isolated group" movie becomes a lot more fun when the group is a bunch of porn film people and the monster is the penis of Ron Jeremy!And it just gets better. Ron Jeremy and Veronica Hart star in it and, before the unthinkable happens, they manage to slip some commentary on the adult business nowadays. Is it any different than the comments of disgruntled senior citizens in other horror movies? YES! Because they are porn stars. OK, maybe when I put it this way it sounds terribly cliché, but it somehow wasn't! All the reused scenes from other movies that I would disgustedly call clichés, in this one they become omages to classic horror films.Bottom line: it makes a perfect fun beer movie with a bunch of friends. Girls could not possibly understand this, except maybe for the Kegel references.