Mortuary Academy (1988)

Whenever I think about Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov I remember Eating Raoul. That was a rather strange black comedy, not the greatest comedy in the world by any means, but at least well written and well acted. So when I found Mortuary Academy with Paul and Mary (and Tracy Walter, another of my favorites), I thought, well, it sounds pretty stupid, but it can't be that bad, right? Wrong!!! This is one of the worst pieces of absolute garbage I've ever seen. Most of the actors have no talent. The script is a disaster. Worst of all, it's not even remotely funny. The jokes (so-called) are on the level of very ignorant grade-school boys. If you gathered up a bunch of third-grade morons and told them to make a comedy, this is probably what you'd get. At some point I just gave up and stopped watching.

One thing I never thought I'd see was Paul Bartel having passionate sex with a corpse. Thanks to this film, that which I thought impossible has become reality and I don't think I'll ever be able to close my eyes again without seeing the sight of a topless pot-bellied Bartel atop a beautiful dead teenage girl on the beach with his lips locked onto hers.Believe me when I tell you that this sounds funnier than it really was. This movie is one long, tasteless, and painfully unfunny necrophilia joke. However, there are some sporadically amusing momentsA great cast is mostly wasted. Perry Lang continues (after The Hearse) his lustful pursuit of older women, only this time with more success, while Christopher Atkins tries hard and fails to fully explain why he's even in this movie. Caesar Romero and Wolfman Jack are here to collect a paycheck. Tracy Walter, Mary Waronov, and the rest do try hard.The best performance is that of Stoney Jackson as the token black guy, who manages to be the funniest thing in this movie despite his lamentable rapping skills.I'll give Mortuary Academy some credit though. I didn't hate it and it has perhaps the strangest Bar Mitzvah scene ever attempted in a motion picture.

Though nowhere as original as "Eating Raoul", for those who admire that film, "Mortuary Academy" is the closest Paul Bartel and Mary Woronov ever came to duplicating that magical black comedy. If you throw out "Mortuary Academy's" absurd "Radio Werewolf" dead rock band resurrection, you are left with some outrageous dialog, especially relating to Bartel's virginal dead lover. The film does rely on some "Airplane"- type hit or miss humor, however when the campy humor gives way to black comedy, these two (Bartel and Woronov) really deliver. I rate this a solid 6.0. Comparable ratings would include "Eating Raoul" 8.0, "Chopping Mall" 5.0, and "Lust in the Dust" 5.0. - MERK

I saw this film for the second time recently and realised how lucky I was to get that chance. I picked it up in a crummy second-hand shop amongst layers of crap and paid 50p - bargain I'd say!The film is about the brothers Grim who will inherit a mortuary if they pass there mortuary exams(!), unfortunately for them the current owners (Paul and Mary) don't feel like leaving anytime soon and plot to fail the brothers Grim however good they do in class. Oh yeah, Paul is a closet Necrophilliac, and Mary is an out-of-the-closet whore.There are some really fun parts in this film; mainly the classroom scenes where we get to meet the other classmates including that guy who always plays a psycho, if you get to see this you'll know who I'm talking about. In this film he plays a psycho.It's sad to note that many have passed away since the making of this film, especially Wolfman Jack who will be sorely missed.I recommend this film to any lover of cheese, and eighties type movies. If you are broadminded and don't dismiss films such as 'Porky's' and 'Nerds' as trash (which they surely are not!), then you'll do alright with this.