We're Going to Eat You (1980)

Secret agent 999 (a solid and likable performance by Norman Chu) gets sent to a remote Chinese island to arrest thief Rolex. Things go horribly awry when said island turns out to be almost entirely populated by crazed bloodthirsty cannibals. Director Hark Tsui, who also co-wrote the loopy script with Roy Szeto, keeps the entertainingly off-the-wall story moving along at a breathless brisk clip, milks plenty of laughs from the amusingly twisted sense of spot-on silly and sidesplitting black humor, maintains a cheerfully deranged tone throughout, delivers a plethora of over-the-top violent and gory carnage, and stages the copious exciting and energetic martial arts fights with rip-roaring brio. The villages are a colorful assortment of complete kooks, with a homely and lecherous lady giant rating as the most delightfully daffy of the berserk bunch. Kwok Choi Hon easily steals the whole screwy show with his winningly wacky portrayal of a wily and elusive pickpocket while the lovely Mo-lin Cheung makes a favorable impression as the sweet Lin. The familiar music cues from Goblin's score for "Suspiria" further add to this picture's considerable infectiously insane appeal. Hung-Chuen Lau's vibrant widescreen cinematography boasts plenty of crazy camera angles. A seriously nutty riot.

We're Going to Eat You: 7 out of 10: Monty Python had a wonderful sergeant character that would come out during a skit and claim that the skit was getting to silly. He would have worked overtime on this film.Part Cannibal movie, part Kung-Fu flick and part slapstick comedy We're Going to Eat You has all the makings of a complete disaster. It's actually a fresh fun movie. Oh and it's definitely very silly.It actually starts out with both some serious gore scenes and some very competent kung-fu. But by the time the over-sized transvestite starts threatening our characters with a fate worse than being eaten the film devolves into a rare kind of slapstick. One that is consistently funny.The film breaks all the rules. Film characters with names like Agent 999 and Rolex should appear only in the absolute dumbest of comedies, a dainty woman eating a still beating human heart should be shocking not funny, and neither Abe Lincoln in blackface nor roller derby should ever be used during kung-fu fight scenes.Yet We're Going to Eat you has all these elements and more and still I found myself with a big broad smile on my face. This is one silly cannibalistic, kung-fu, action adventure film. Not that I necessarily want to see a serious one now I think about it.

Of the Hong Kong directors who have been most highly regarded by critics and punters, I find Tsui Hark to be the most overrated. Even "Chinese Ghost Story", which has often been credited to Hark and is a very effective and surreal horror pic, was not directed by Hark, but was directed by "Naked Weapon's" Ching Siu-Tung."We Are Going To Eat You" has all the flaws of (most) subsequent and previous Hark movies. It is chaotic, repetitive and confusing. The characters are all exaggerated to the point of irritation and the so-called comedy is forced and shrill. There is a gratuitous overuse of wide, low angle compositions and much of the music is inappropriately loud -- one of the main cues, from Argento's "Suspiria" (by Goblin), is an often repeated offender.Hark leaves his audience no time to breathe or take in the atmosphere in this odd piece of "horror fu" which is a pity because the island location that hero Norman Tsui (Agent 999) lands on to search for a legendary thief, is suitably creepy and hostile. Unfortunately, every scene is attacked with a sledgehammer and every actor overreacts to everything. What you end up with is a film with no shading and no contrast, a loud blob of sound and picture serving no purpose but to assault the senses like an infant screaming into your face for ninety minutes.For gore hounds there is a bit of limb-lopping and copious blood is spilled, but there is zero suspense and endless martial arts fights that come across like low rent Jackie Chan. And speaking of Chan, many viewers will recognize the familiar "Project A" sets on display.Hark's debut feature "The Butterfly Murders" bored me silly and his follow-up "Dangerous Encounters" (aka "Don't Play With Fire") didn't impress either with its confused politics and sledgehammer style. His "The Lovers", however, made almost two decades later, is his finest achievement so far, a simple romantic drama directed with admirable restraint and style.This film's mix of cannibalism, broad physical comedy and kung fu comes across as misdirected and awkward. I'd only recommend this to die-hard Hark or cannibal cinema completists. The rest should look elsewhere for their entertainment.

i don't know how anybody could like this boring movie.but judging from some other reviews on IMDb there are other people who like this .i guess they must have been drunk.despite the title not one person is seen getting eaten.most of the gore is off screen and that is a rip off.the fight scenes are really bad and boring.i bought this on vcd for only 3 dollars and what a waste of 3 dollars that is.and to make matters worse the subtitles were at the very bottom of the sen so i could only read part of them.hardly any gore and some of the worst fights i have ever seen.these guys can barely kick higher than their waist.stay far away from this garbage.