Shark Attack in the Mediterranean (2004)

When a grieving widow (Moeller) discovers that a prehistoric shark – Megalodon – is responsible for the death of a swimmer, he suspects it might also be the same shark that killed his wife and two other divers several years earlier. Convincing newly appointed micro-biologist (Stinshoff) proves relatively easy, but she's oblivious to the grand scheme that has created the giant shark from living DNA recovered from a frozen specimen found in the Antarctic. Of all places to base a cutting edge cancer research facility, no doubt the idyllic Mediterranean tax haven of Mallorca would be the most sensible. At least that's what the makers of this film would have the audience believe.The over-used CGI shark is typically unrealistic and so out-of-proportion and scale that it scarcely conjures any excitement or thrills. Even the shark swarm in the first scene is disappointing, once again courtesy of the CGI effects that give every attack a video-game quality. This German production's English dubbing is some of the worst (and unintentionally hilarious) you'll come across – the sight of big Ralf running down the beach shouting "Shugalum, shugalum" (that's meant to be "shark alarm, shark alarm" in Bavarian accent) a dozen times will have you in stitches. At least the producers had the foresight to anticipate the drudgery to which this would ultimately amount, and incorporated some quirky humour to lighten up the tone. There's a number of genuine laughs (as opposed to the unintentional ones) throughout, one in particular paying homage to "The Terminator" which works well. The obese BBQ chef and his bevy of scantily clad accoutrements who lends Ralf a luxury car or two is also a comic highlight.But despite the eclectic editing, sometimes witty dialogue, postcards of Mallorca and stylish stunt-work (some great car maneuvers and helicopter acrobatics), there's little else to recommend this movie, which borrows heavily from several others of the ilk ("Deep Blue Sea" in particular), but achieves much less. Hanselmann's bikini-clad villainy is perhaps the most worthwhile aspect in this whole travesty; that or Ralf's physique, depending on your persuasion. Either way, it's not enough to entertain a second time.

I watched an English dubbed version of this, and I liked it. It's a bad, bad, bad movie but it's enjoyable for a couple of reasons.First, its fun to spot the ripoffs. The main plot is a mash of Jaws and Jurassic Park. I guess the makers really like Spielberg, because there's also a sequence that looks just like it was lifted from Duel. It also rips off a scene from the Terminator. I bet there's a bunch more 'borrowed' moments that I missed. Feel free to add more.Second, there are a couple of 'did that really just happen moments?' in the film. There's a rich playboy that pops up a couple of times that talks about the German Barbecue Association, and a band that plays a song all about 69, just to start. I'd also put the Terminator sequence in this category.Finally, there's just a bunch of stupid stuff, like helicopter pilots on long trips that don't go more than 100 feet off the ground, poorly composited special effects, and some really bad dubbing, that merit pointing out to friends and making fun of.To some up: it's a bad movie, but its enjoyable with the right frame of mind. Or maybe my standards are just slipping.

To be honest, before watching "Haialarm auf Mallorca"- "World Premier on RTL", I really had no expectations whatsoever. Now I have to say: this film is even a disgrace for the cheesiest German channel RTL (apart from RTL 2 and Super RTL). As you may have supposed the film is about a deadly dangerous super killer shark murdering people in Mallorca for no reasons. But there is hope for the terrified people of Mallorca. The great hero Ralf Moeller fights against the injustice, bravely challenging the epic monster, which isn't even identifiable nearly throughout the film. Having experienced a shark attack himself, in fact, years ago when his wife got raped, he has the opportunity to revenge now. However he has to bother with greedy scientists and corrupt police... Will justice win and the people of Mallorca have their own peaceful life back? You are going to have to see if you bother watching this masterpiece. T his horribly animated film would have been a great contender for the worst film of the year if it hadn't been German. The story is obviously rubbish and the acting wooden. Even the shark is not scary. As a German you have to hope this movie doesn't reach a wider audience than Germany. But I'm sure it wont as there are heaps of real good films, obviously not produced by RTL. To be fair with the entire film crew, you will at least have a funny evening with a sufficient amount of alcohol and a nice company. I'm, hence, going to give this rubbish a 2.

*SPOILERS AHEAD* Well, what could I say about this "movie"... it's one of these movies where you wish you could sue someone to get the time wasted back, and you could also sue for the pain endured while watching it. 3 elements make this movie a pain:a "plot" which doesn't deserve this name. A man wants to kill the prehistoric shark (!) that killed his wife. Jurassic Park meets Jaws. Yawn. Besides missing any scientific logic, you will quickly start to realize that most roles in this movie are only clichés being filled: the German hero (ex-navy diver), the lazy Spanish policeman (who always looks stressed), the Spanish crook (played by a German with a whig on...), the good and the bad scientists (the good happening to fly helicopters in her leisure-time), etc...Bad acting. There is bad acting due to poor directors and bad acting due to poor actors. Here we have both. Its hard to fill a role which consists of saying highlights like "Sharks eat people", but at least try to look credible when you have to say such a thing.Computer effects which make Tron from 1982 look like the latest of special effects. Sharks (the secret heroes of this movie) which look fake. Not just a bit fake, but VERY fake (you can see that already in the beginning of the movie where sharks attack divers in a cage).In resume, no plot + bad acting + bad computer effects = painI' ll give it a 0,5 out of 5 stars for all the kerosene used in the helicopter-scenes.