The Boys in Blue (1982)

Sgt Tommy Cannon and PC Bobby Ball are a two-man law enforcement operation working in Little Botham (pronounced 'bottom'). They are successful not because they are good at their job but merely because little to no crime occurs in their sleepy little village. As a result, Ball moonlights (or daylights in this case) as a shop owner while 'romancing' village cook Kim (Suzanne Danielle).Since Little Botham police station is surplus to requirements and will be merged with other stations in the vicinity under the exasperated supervision of the chief constable (Eric Sykes) Cannon and Ball's jobs as policemen are on the line. After ruining the chief constable's car at the start of the film, Cannon and Ball devise a way to keep themselves employed by looking for crime to justify their pay-packet. They call on new resident Hilling (Edward Judd) and Lloyd the businessman (Roy Kinnear who had the best lines in the film) for inspiration and devise a framing operation involving theft of Lloyd's artwork but find themselves engaged in a real crime involving art smuggling and a UFO...The film, as previously mentioned by others, was loosely based on 'Ask a policeman' featuring Will Hay and Graham Moffatt. There are similarities to the original but Cannon looked too sophisticated to rival Hay's blustering Samuel Dudfoot and Bobby Ball didn't have the boyhood charm of Albert Brown. The original film had a headless horseman sub-plot and The Boys in Blue used the same plot device but instead opted for a UFO (probably to keep the budget down as the flickering lights from the UFO seemed to reveal a police car underneath if you look carefully). However, The Boys in Blue referred more to the Headless Horseman, including the rhyme from the original film, than the UFO making the whole thing redundant if not absolutely confusing.The problem with Cannon and Ball's roles as policemen was they didn't really fit their temperaments. I know the double act were trying to show how inept they were in their roles of authority but out of all the characters in the film (including the smugglers) it is Cannon and Ball who come across as the most aggressive, shouting and pulling each other about and Ball threatening to strangle a farmer. He was close to headbutting Cannon twice in one scene! They probably would have been better cast as the smugglers rather than the coppers.There were various veterans of the day in bit-parts but you probably wouldn't notice them for different reasons. Jack Douglas was superintendent but played his role straight rather than use his Alf Ippititimus persona like he did in the Carry on films. Dr Who veteran and Worzel Gummidge star Jon Pertwee had a small but amiable part as a polite rascal coastguard who puts his lamp on the police station roof. Billy Burden and Arthur English have very small acting roles as sheep and pig farmers. You would barely recognise Arthur English and this leads me into my first issue with the film... A major problem was the lack of lighting (Arthur English's role occurred in complete darkness and only knew it was him because I recognised his voice). Most of the film was set either in the dimly lit police station or in darkness and I found it unintentionally funny that you could barely see what was going on yet heard this blaring Magnum P.I type action music in the background. The ending featured a chase between Cannon and Ball and the smugglers which was fairly identical to the original apart from the introduction of passengers that leapt on to the bus during the chase. I was quite surprised they survived as the bus collided with the smugglers car head on before the hapless duo walked off into the sunset.The soundtrack 'The Boys in Blue' was quite catchy and those lyrics were so profound...Heh heh, a bit of sarcasm on the last bit..."We're the boys in blue...Woo-woo-woo-woo...We're the boys in blue...Woo-woo-woo woooo..."The film is an awful mess though despite the very low mark it is watchable in the right mood and typical of what Cannon and Ball provided for people on Saturday nights on their ITV show. I suppose the question ought to be asked why it was made in the first place unless it was just a vehicle to raise Cannon and Ball's profile (which it failed to do). I place the film The Boys in Blue under arrest for gross incompetence. ;-)

I recently bought this film on DVD and it is still as funny as watching the first time in the cinema. A mixture of slapstick and funny lines make this a film that only C&B fans will really appreciate and enjoy, you also get some great brit actors as well such as Roy Kinnear, Eric Sykes, Jack Douglas, Jon Pertwee and Arthur English. It is a remake of the Will Hay movie Ask A Policeman, although I can only vaguely remember the Will Hay version, it is a pretty simple plot to follow. C&B play two hapless policemen in the village of Little Bottom and they are called into some police work when art thieves try to smuggle out some stolen paintings. This will appeal to anyone who grew up in the 80's and enjoyed watching C&B

Contrary to other comments this is a British classic. If you're not a Cannon & Ball fan - don't read on - in fact, why watch it??!! True "CannonBallians" will relish in the banter between two of the top comedy double acts.Never again, alas, will we see the likes of Roy Kinnear ("If I 'ad a secretary, I'd 'ave someone with something that bounces up & down when she's typing <wheezy laugh>") or Jon Pertwee ("That's very kind of you I'm sure - such heartwarming social sentiments are hard to find in these grasping avericious days") but they are immortalised here.My personal favourite is the "somebody at the door" scene - but there are plenty of others to have you in stitches including "I'm going to lend you me Monarch of the Glen"!!!!Top marks for a top film!

This is a truly dreadful film, and must surely constitute great veteran film-maker Val Guest's darkest hour. Terrible predictable dialogue, inept clowning, utterly unfunny. Unfortunately comedy can never be so bad it transcends awfulness (unlike films not intended to be funny, most famously 'Plan 9 from Outer Space'), they either work or they don't. This one was moribund from the start. Even the great duo of Morecambe & Wise never had much success with this type of film project, so imagine the hash the distinctly third rate Cannon and Ball make of things. Unfortunately even the presence of the usually reliable Roy Kinnear can not save this.