The Washingtonians (2007)

+I agree with the reviewer who made that comment that this movie could have been written by a 5th grader. Bad acting, bad storytelling, and completely unbelievable decisions by the main characters would all be acceptable if the movie had campy humor, but there was none. No witty dialogue, no creative death scenes, not even a token hottie in a bikini. The only attempt at humor was in the tacked on ending which tried way too hard.Example of how bad this movie was:I leaving a beating human heart in the house wasn't enough to convince the family that they should probably leave, the Washingtonians show up at the door with weapons and outright threaten to kill the family and eat them. Fortunately for the family, the police in that town respond quick and the Washingtonians run away when they hear sirens saying that they'll be back.Now I can accept victims making bad choices in the spur of the moment while running for their lives, but the family has an entire day to figure out what they should do. For no apparent reason, they decide to stay put without at least buying a gun or even a baseball bat. Then they act surprised when the Washingtonians come back like they said they would.If they had booby trapped the house or at least put up some kind of fight, it might have been fun, but a couple of Washingtonians knocking out the father in 1 hit shows that they weren't even trying.I wonder what people who liked this movie would consider a bad movie. The only thing this movie had going for it was an interesting premise that was poorly executed in every way.

Well, this is quite funny. The founding father of America was a cannibal and he has some nasty devotees.To count the good stuff here; we have some solid gore on display and the first 20 minutes or so are somewhat creepy.Some reviewers here call the story retarded and the acting retarded (I always think that's a "retarded" way of reviewing a film) but I don't agree, I thought the family was likable and Saul Rubinek quite funny in the closing moments. The story is a joke, not to be taken seriously, although it does make note of the fact that media (and history) distort the truth. But still, this is a joke, a nasty one but rather funny and gruesomely inventive."The Washingtonians" is not one of the better MOH episodes but it's an OK way to kill an hour.

this was awful. just awful. i probably am of that mind because i actually READ the short story this is based on. i adore Bentley Little and his ability to take the mundane and terrify you with it.the premise is awesome. but the acting was horrible, and the added stuff took away from the story.though i DID quite enjoy the bit about "tastes like chicken". that was about the only redeeming thing in my opinion.none of the acting was believable.at all.sorry, it just wasn't.maybe i'm expecting too much from a TV series, but i was so disappointed by what i saw.

The value of Peter Medak's master degree in horror is debatable, since he only just directed one terrific classic in the genre ("The Changeling") and one inferior but fun & gory sequel ("Species II"), but he nevertheless delivered a worthwhile addition to the series' second season. "The Washingtonians" has an original premise and a fairly large amount of suspenseful sequences, particularly during the first half hour when the outcome is still somewhat of a mystery. And unlike most other installments of this show, the concept has the courage to mildly provoke. The story revolves on George Washington being a bloodthirsty cannibal – even with a preference for the flesh of young children and virgins – and a small group of Virginian disciples are still practicing his murderous habits. Considering the first President of the United States is still (and always) seen as a genuine hero and founding father of the nation, "The Washingtonians" just might upset a handful of old-fashioned people here and there. Not too much, however, as the overall tone of the episode is as much blackly comical as it is creepy. In the basement of his recently deceased grandmother's house in Virginia, Mike Franks finds a note written by no other than George Washington himself. This could be a great historical discovery, wouldn't it be that the message is hugely disturbing and talks about the dismemberment & devouring of little children. When they hear about the note, the friendly old people in town promptly turn into hostile and menacing aggressors that won't hesitate to kill and eat Mike and his family in order to recover the note. "The Washingtonians" is adequately fast-paced and well directed. Highlight of the short film is unquestionably the scene in the local restaurant, where the elderly townsfolk outrageously & primitively munch large portions of red meat. Still, in a story revolving on cannibalism, I expected a bit more gore and slaughter. Johnathon Schaech is decent in the lead role, but the woman who played his wife Pam (the largely unknown Venus Terzo) impressed me a lot more. She's a talented beauty with a gorgeous rack. That might be an infantile and tasteless thing to say, but it's the truth.