The Vineyard (1989)

This horror movie from 1989 really embodies the entire spirit and feel of the 1980 horror movies. It is hard to put a concrete example on what it is to it that makes it so, but it just is."The Vineyard" is fairly straight forward. A reclusive wine grower, famous for his unique wines, have invited a group of young aspiring actors to his estate for what they believe in to be a party and an audition for a movie. However, the wine maker has something else in store for the young people, as he needs them to brew his special wine; a wine that has kept him young and alive for centuries.The effects in the movie were very 1980s. Just watch the movie, and you will know immediately what I am talking about here. The zombies weren't particularly detailed, but I assume for a movie from back then they were quite good.The storyline is generic and stereotypical for late 1980s horror movies, being predictable to the core. But still, the movie is fun to watch because it is campy and cheesy. And it was fun to watch James Hong in this particular role. Being a fan of Hong Kong cinema, it was also fun to watch Michael Wong in this movie.If you enjoy horror movies from the 1980s, then "The Vineyard" is definitely one to watch. And the ending is guaranteed to have you laughing...

Watch as actor James Hong (who also co-wrote and co-direct) puts on a show! He steals every frame he's in, but this is because the competition is few and far between. When he isn't obsessively going off his rocker and having his face morph about, you're probably transfixed by the presence (not the acting) of playmate bunny Karen Witter. Hong's depraved character definitely is, but the scenes they mostly share are less than interesting other than the daft climatic showdown. Outside of Hong and Karl Heinz-Tuber, the majority of the performances are one-note and vacant. Dr. Elson Po is a world renowned wine grower, but he also has a dark secret with an obsession for the forbidden secrets of immortality. To stop the rapid aging process, Po feeds on the life-force of the young aspiring actresses he invites to his island. "The Vinyard" is low-rent and quite sloppy, despite the amusing unhinged mad doctor / black magic hokum. It has its moments with some ghoulish jolts, sleazy encounters and nasty monster make-up FX (zombies join the party), but it can be patchy and lackadaisical in scenes. Moments can be quite talky (numerous boring exchanges) with the silly script throwing about strange ideas, spiritual themes and linking it with Chinese mythology. At times it can be atmospheric, but its villa and vineyard setting on a secluded island is never taken full advantage of. Even throw in a dungeon with chains. "You're in a lot of danger here."

Dr. Elson Po (James Hong) is one of the world's most famous wine growers. He has a magic potion which has kept him handsome and alive during the centuries. However, lately the magic which rejuvenates him seem to be less and less effective.This film was written by, directed by and starring James Hong. So if you are a Hong fan, this is the picture for you -- he brings an angle to horror that I certainly have not seen elsewhere. I am not sure if you can call him Chinese-American, since he was born in the United States, but he has made an American film with Chinese roots -- possibly a unique feat in American horror.Some of this was pure 1980s. Hong's dance in the mask at his 1980s party was pretty weird, and the music certainly amplified the weirdness. The special effects range from good to bad. I liked the masks and makeup, but some of the "electricity" just looked terrible.

"The Vineyard" is noteworthy among low budget horror crud in that it marked a rare co- writing / co-directing credit for the excellent veteran character actor James Hong, whom most people will have seen in one thing or another (such as the villain Lo Pan in "Big Trouble in Little China"). Here the typically solid Hong does a delightful job of chewing on the scenery as nefarious wine maker Dr. Elson Po, who may be putting strange things into his recipe. A troupe of vapid young adults are invited to his island winery under the pretense that he'll audition them for a movie he's producing, but in reality they'll soon be victimized by black magic and Po's brutal, grim faced henchmen. Dr. Po has a weakness regarding the amulet that he wears, but will the dumb schmucks here figure that out in time? Hong and company seem to be aware that they're making silly horror cheese here, and they just have fun with their material (rather than going the route of making obvious self referential jokes). In fact, he's good enough to raise this a point in the rating. Also helping out is the presence of the charming, luscious Playboy Playmate Karen Witter as Jezebel, the young lady upon whom Po fixates. (Who can blame him?) The supporting cast plays it all quite straight, and they make up in entertainment value whatever they lack in ability. Michael Wong is hopelessly stiff, studious journalist Jeremy Young, who's fascinated by Po. There is a good little serving of female flesh, and the female cast members - Cheryl Madsen, Cheryl Lawson, Lissa Zappardino - are pleasing enough to look at throughout. Unfortunately, the movie doesn't have too many of what could be considered really good, highlight moments (aside from one ingenious bit of a character coughing up spiders), but it's hard to knock anything that throws zombies into the mix so they can be paid off during the climax, and pokes fun at any and all horror movie that's ever concluded with an open ending. Makeup effects are generally well done, and the setting allows for some gorgeous scenery. All things considered, this is agreeable stuff, not anything worth actively seeking out but still worth a look for die hard genre addicts. Six out of 10.