Bela Kiss: Prologue (2013)

I enjoyed this movie. From the onset it was mysterious and engaging. There was no clear direction where the film was going. I knew nothing about the I story, hadn't read the back of the case (which is how I like to view movies).We meet a group of young bank robbers, who I have to say seem the most innocent kind of bank robbers ever featured in a film. They are on their way to a safe hotel set in the woods. On the way they come across a car blocking their path and a suspicious chap with a gun. The hotel is mysterious and enigmatic, the leader books them in under fairy tale names. Which for some reason stands out as a key moment in the film to me but probably isn't. There are several moments in the film like this.Even though the initial characters aren't particularly interesting there is something very watchable about the movie, what is happening around the main characters is more enthralling than they are. As the movie progresses the owners of the hotel become more prominent within the film and demand your attention. Details seem to be important. The crescendo is gory and violent, lots of blood. As the film closes it seems to lose some of it's charisma. The ending is a little disappointing, just seemed lacking the magic that ran through the rest of the film.

I often find that even the lamest of horror movies have one or maybe even two redeeming features that make them just about bearable, whether that be a gratuitous shower scene, hot bimbo sex, a dwarf with a machine gun, mutant flesh-eating rodents, or simply some cheesy OTT gore, like someone's eyeballs randomly popping out of their sockets.Natural Born Killer opts for both a sex scene and a shower scene, yet neither of these elements make this film any more entertaining, both somehow failing to provide any nudity. The remainder of the film is as equally dull and disappointing, as five bank robbers check in at a remote hotel to wait for the heat to die down, only to find that the staff are a bunch of weirdos in league with notorious serial killer Bela Kiss, who has apparently found a way to prolong his life.Veering wildly in style from standard teen horror fare to torture porn to art-house horror, Natural Born Killer (AKA The Kiss of a Killer, AKA Bela Kiss: Prologue) is a complete and utter mess: boring from start to finish (very tame gore and absolutely no little guys brandishing extreme firepower), it is one of the few films that I have had to rewind at least five times at various stages because I kept falling asleep.

Bela Kiss is theoretically based on a true story about a notorious serial killer whose crimes were discovered as WW1 was gearing up when the military attempted to confiscate barrels of gasoline and discovered mutilated bodies inside.The soldiers that made the discovery are supposed to be so horrified that they immediately run off vomiting (apparently they weren't familiar with the horrors of trench warfare yet). Flash forward to the present and we have a van with five young people that just pulled a robbery and go to hide out in a no-tell motel for a while to avoid the cops. The place is elegant but very creepy, run by a crew of weirdos and filled with secret passages.Once inside, we are told the not so interesting story of Bela Kiss, played Rudolf Martin, an actor perhaps best known for having played Dracula twice in both an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer and a TV movie called Prince of Darkness. Bela's back-story is dull, and perhaps in an attempt to make it seem more interesting, it is filmed in a visually lush, audacious style that reminded me of the film adaptation of Perfume A Love Story.The move plods along bouncing from the uninteresting story of Bela Kiss to the uninteresting story of the young thieves, who pulled the robbery for some mysterious "boss" and are now turning on each other because of some soap opera style bickering between the leader and another guy over one of the girls (Kristina Klebe of Chillerama and Zombie's Halloween remake).Basically, the only reasons I watched this movie were vague comparisons to Hostel and the presence of actress Kristina Klebe. Neither justified sitting through this dull, self serious mess. It's neither entertaining nor scary, there's a lot of blood but most violence occurs just barely off screen, and the plot contortions in the third act are just stupid.Put simply, Bela Kiss is the prologue to a story that I have absolutely no interest in seeing completed.

For some reason five really, really clever bank robbers who look like models decide to hide away from the police in a hotel.First price for the dumbest bank robbers (or the dumbest movie script) goes to...Perhaps they should have rather stuck to modelling - robbing banks and hiding from the police surely is too much of a mental effort for them.Well I could go on that there is a serial killer in this hotel who has lived there for 30 years or so and all those acting school rejects get killed...But hey you say, haven't I seen that a gzillion times before? Yes you have - but mostly even these were movies made by people with a gzillion times more talent than anyone involved in this epic fail.With the decreased cost of digitally producing a movie every zero-talent wanna-bee puts out a stupid horror movie these days.And no, the reason these movies suck isn't lack of money - it's the total lack of any kind of imagination, story telling skills or the even the slightest amount of talent.