Memorial Valley Massacre (1989)

Plot = Memorial Valley Campsite has just opened for business even though it's far from finished. A bunch of campers set up camp, unknowing of the terror that awaits them in the forest. You see, a Tarzan-like forest boy does not approve of the recent changes in Memorial Valley and has decided to start killing the campers.Well I can say that I've definitely never seen a movie about a killer caveman before, cheesy for the first hour in other words just ain't that good only one person dies during that time, however once the movie gets going the last thirty minutes is pretty entertaining as should they be seeing as how fourteen people get killed in the final half hour of the movie.This is one of the last backwoods slashers that we got from the 80s and I think it's pretty safe to say that this was one of the movies that killed the trend. The movie is obviously very low-budget with a bunch of incompetent actors and an even more incompetent special effects team. The gore effects are ridiculous. Memorial Valley Massacre is far from a flawless film but as I said before, the final 30 minutes kind of make the first hour feel worth while.All in all it may not be a very good movie but it's quite enjoyable during the last thirty minutes which is why I've given a 5 instead of a 4.

I've seen many low budget slasher flicks and although Memorial Valley Massacre certainly isn't the worst, it certainly isn't the best either. Let's put it this way - it's more interesting than The Prey. The main problem is that it lacked any real gore. There is a high body count but all the deaths are done in non-gory ways. If there had been some blood splatter then it would have been really cool. The acting varies from OK to terrible, the killer is a Tarzan lookalike, and the film takes a little too long to reach the conclusion. There's a few interesting moments and it's not as boring as some of the 80's slasher flicks were. Fans of forest slashers will want this in their collection, but gore-hounds should avoid it.

You know you're in trouble when a movie trots out the toilet paper before the 10-minute mark. A bunch of cranky campers have come out for the grand opening of Memorial Valley, which is plagued by negatory vibes (dead dog in the well); woe be unto the unfortunate souls who decide to stay, because a Beastmaster-type with poor oral hygiene is stalking our resident idiots (horny, mullet-headed teens; drunk program director; his Ivy League apprentice). Many phony-looking deaths ensue, plus a twist that's completely obvious the moment it's 'revealed.' "Memorial Valley Massacre" is an inferior rip on Wes Craven's "The Hills Have Eyes" (which wasn't that great to begin with), with a pulse that alternates between campy humor and stone-cold seriousness (or at least as much as a film like this can convey); as a result of the tonal indecision, it becomes an unintentional hoot, perfect for a MST3K-style skewering ("Space Mutiny" star Cameron Mitchell even has a cameo!).

Memorial Valley Campground is opening for business, even though they are having a rough start and not quite ready to open. The roads aren't quite ready and no running water are a few of the problems, but the biggest problem is a maniac caveman running around the campground killing off the campers. Extremely dull horror fare is neither gory nor horrifying. Memorial Valley Massacre takes forever to get started and by the time it does you don't even care. The acting is fairly terrible with the caveman being the worst. Who came up with this idea? Even if you are a fan of 80's serial killer movies this is one that is just not worth the bother. BOMB! Zero out of ****