Outpost 11 (2012)

This movie forces the Watcher to interrogate himself on what the process of picking up a movie instead of another, consists of. Is it the title, the location where it is set, the period, the plot, the actors/actresses? ... good, I guess i filled up the minimum five lines by now and therefore I can start the review itself. Which is the following: if reading a telephone book is for you a waste of time and a most boring occupation, then I suggest you do it instead of watching Outpost 11. At least you will find out how many funny names people can have.

This film should NOT be watched by ANYONE, unless you want to completely waste 1 1/2 hours of your life. Put some fresh paint on the wall and watch that dry instead. It'll be more interesting, and at least the end result will be more fulfilling. Fair play to the actors, they did a good job with the script they were given, but just because some psychotropic drug - or whatever - was responsible for the characters going crazy, it doesn't mean that the storyline should make no sense. I was just very disappointed with this film and don't know why it was even made. Please! Will somebody buy me a load of paint. I need some excitement in my life.

OK, picture this... you are an ambitious movie producer seeking a worthwhile project and someone pitches you this... three British army men living in a weird, slightly techie dystopian future version of an endless World War I are stuck in a bunker in the Arctic going slowly crazy. "So what happens?" you would ask."Nothing really, thats the whole movie" the writer replies. "What?!" you shout, "No women?, no outdoor scenes, no flashbacks to civilian life, no character development, no quirkyness, no humor, no sex, no hope, no action or plot to speak of, nothing except that dreary descending misery throughout the whole film?" "Well," he says, squirming a little at your righteous and obviously justified outrage, "they do salute a lot and say 'Long live the King' and look out the window for the Prussians and in the end they play games and eat spiders". Now seriously friends, wouldn't you throw this person and his so called idea right out of your office with all possible speed? Couldn't you write a better screenplay with a cocktail napkin and a dull pencil in say, three minutes time? For some bizarre reason, this film's producer did not do that. Someone actually funded this movie! "What were they thinking?" keeps coming to mind. I dunno, maybe they were dreaming of a kind of Kafka or Poe or Lovecraft analogy, but that is wildly, inappropriately generous. I saw this on Thanksgiving and I was most prayerfully thankful on that day that the fast forward button on my remote was working properly. Actually, it occurs to me that a "making of" documentary of this film would be fascinating, if only to answer the three questions that I have, "Why?. Why? and of course, you know already... Why?" There's just no excuse.

***spoiler alert*** This is by far the worst movie i have ever seen. I am appalled that anybody can compare this movie to john carpenters "the thing" the only resemblance it posses to that movie is where its based. I usually enjoy a low budget movie with obvious exceptions, but i am afraid the plot, acting, dialogue, fx, were just terrible. {COMPLETELY UNWATCHABLE}all in all I could make a better movie myself by filming a steaming pile of poo on the floor and still capture the audience and get a better reception.rubbish