Babysitter Massacre (2013)

It starts off pretty decently, a twenty-something-year-old babysitter, as the title leads us to believe, strips to take a bath (and might I just say that she has quite a body), right up until she is held captive, tortured, and then murdered in a not to gruesome fashion, by an unknown figure.We then cut to sometime later during Halloween, as we are introduced to our supposed main heroine, Angela, whom I guess had been friends with the girl in the opening (though, through tedious exposition, we are told that it might have actually been someone else), and just so happens to be close to the supposed father of said person. Yeah, she really isn't that interesting, at least not as much her lesbian-like punk friend, Bianca, and I don't mean that in a positive manner. Every word that came out of this chicks mouth made it sound like she was a transgender of some sort. While I'll admit that the main girl's friends were nice to look at (more so than her), I won't be ignoring the fact that both said 'characters' are virtually useless.What irritated me the most was the kills; not the kills themselves, but the specific victims of them. Not only were the kills sappy at best, most of them had no real purpose. Whether we know who the person is or not, she (or he) gets axed off within less than a minute: mostly it's the ones played by actresses far more attractive than the 'supposed main heroine'; hell, there is even a nerdy (yet extremely horny) chick who is ten times hotter than said heroine, but I digress.THIS was nothing but a FETISH film. If T&A are the ONLY good things your movie has to offer, I really can't help but feel sorry for you.

This movie is exactly what it says on the tin, so to speak. Babysitters do indeed get massacred in this welcome throwback to the glory (gory) days of the slasher films of the '80s to early nineties. Angela (Erin Ryan) plans a Halloween party hoping to bring her friends closer together, who drifted apart after a childhood trauma. Unbeknownst to her, there's a masked killer running around murdering.... Babysitters. Who will survive? Who is this masked maniac? Far be it from me to spoil the fun. Just watch it if you love the horror of the 1980s.Eye Candy: Pretty much all the main actresses show skin and then some

You already know if you will like it or not based off the title and trailer. No smoke and mirror show here, this is a straight up slasher movie. In this day and age where anyone with a camera phone can make a movie it is hard to create something on a budget that can truly affect the viewer. Watching this flick, I had the same feeling I had as a kid when renting a big box VHS purely off the title and cover alone. They were always a gamble and usually always a disappointment. Babysitter Massacre is everything I love about slashers...furthermore it is the best slasher movie since the Orphan Killer. Will be watching the director and his works from here on to see what kind of treat he delivers next.

A group of young women get back together for a reunion of their babysitters club on Halloween. However, a vicious mysterious killer starts picking off the gals left and right. Writer/director Henrique Cuoto relates the familiar, but still fun and effective premise at a brisk pace, draws the personable main characters with surprising and refreshing depth, builds a good deal of tension in the nerve-wracking last third, and delivers oodles of tasty gratuitous female nudity. The brutal murder set pieces pack quite a savage punch while the downbeat ending manages to be both startling and devastating. Moreover, it's capably acted by a sturdy cast: The adorable Erin R. Ryan radiates tremendous sweet charm as the perky Angela, Marylee Osborne excels as scrappy guilt-ridden punk rebel outcast Bianca, and Geoff Burkman registers nicely as the regretful Mr. Walker, plus there are sound contributions from Joni Durian as the meek Lucky, Tara Clark as the brash and aggressive Arlene, and Haley Madison as the bitter Cassandra. The tight 78 minute running time ensures that this picture never gets tedious or overstays its welcome. Cuoto's vibrant cinematography provides a pleasing polished look. The shivery score by Buzz Amato and Rick Hinkle hits the shuddery spot. Recommended viewing for slice'n'dice fans.