Small Town Folk (2007)
High above the tiny hamlet of Grockleton stands Beesley Manor, home to the ominous Landlord and his...shall we say, genetically ambiguent...minions, including Pooch, a cross-eyed marksman, and Dobbin, who likes to drink gasoline. The Landlord keeps a watchful eye over his domain, brutally dispatching any strangers who enter - except for females he needs to (involuntarily) sire a Beesley heir...When three unsuspecting travelers arrive, the Landlord plans to make two of them his trophies and the other his bride...unless they can beat him at his own game.
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I love B movies and respect them for what they are, so it's rare for me to be so disappointed! And being a hardcore fan of horror movies only made me feel worse.The opening credits are nice and a good promise they break as soon as the movie begins. The acting is terrible, the blue screen is irritating, the dialogue is stupid and the plot would be enjoyable (not smart, but good enough) if it was well handled. This is so poorly filmed that made my eyes hurt. Never felt this before, not even watching "Boo" which was my least favorite movie ever before this crossed my way! But if you want to laugh and don't have sensitive eyes, go for it!
HELLO BAD REVIEWERS!!!I could not resist writing a review of this film--which I have never done before on IMDb-- because so many of you who have posted here, have got this movie soooo wrong!!! It is a hilarious film, that is so inventive and so scary yet delightful-- yes you heard me, DELIGHTFUL!. You regular horror folk who want a bunch of gore and guts have completely missed the subtleties here--the nuanced and sarcastic acting, the details in the story telling, the creative weaponry, the look of the models used for the bad guys' house--- YOU ARE ALL BLIND WHO GAVE THIS MOVIE A BAD REVIEW!! There is an unlikely hero who defeats evil with just a big wooden stick and a bicycle helmet--just hysterical! And evil dudes that are stupid as hell but yet scary!! The chase through the corn field, the little dude on the guy's back in a sack, the ridiculous train vehicle that chases people slowly, the closeups on broken glasses, the pan up the bad guys boots--its all so well done!! And the subtitles on the bit where the hooded zipper guy talks unintelligibly is just classic! I am actually going to buy a copy of this film on DVD just to have. To those of you who hated this movie, all I can say is that you are just plain stupid or you didn't bother to actually watch the film. There is no other explanation.
I'm writing this review to warn my fellow human beings. This is in all honesty the absolute worst film I have ever seen in my entire life.I am all for cheesy horror flicks and B-movies, but come on, there has to be drawn a line somewhere, and that line is LONG before this movie.The acting is really horrible, but the thing that bothers me the most is the overall quality of the production. first of all, the music. It's almost none existent for the exception of a couple of tunes now and then. the sets, if you can call them sets are a bunch of green-screen footage, were you can literally see the lines, its so bad. Even scenes from inside the house is green screened.Whatever you do, do not waste your time watching this horrible piece of film making. Save your money.1/10, if I could I'd give it a 0/10.
In the original release of this film, was it in 3D? Because if it wasn't, then the use of CG in this film is an abortion. I LOVE bad horror flicks, but this one so far is just freaking lame. I was obviously tricked by cleaver marketing folks at Blockbuster, because all over the box it was billed how this film was some kind of visionary masterpiece, but it is far from it. The parts that are supposed to be funny, aren't even that.Trust me, I am not someone who takes these films too seriously, after all, 'Troll 2' is one of my fav films. But this film isn't even bad enough to be "so bad it's good"BOOOOOO this title!!!!!