Petrified (2006)

I was extremely disappointed by this film. It truly is complete rubbish. There is nothing good about it at all.Petrified is about an ancient artefact that is being delivered in the dark of night which turns out to be a mummy-type alien who comes back to life and begins a rampage of turning people to stone. The deal of passing the artefact is carried out in a graveyard which happens to be situated next to a nymphomaniac hospital. The hospital is full of sex mad women and an eccentric doctor who is actually trying to cure death using hormone therapy. This movie is so bad, the effects are horrendous, I felt like I was watching a movie shot in the 1960's. The characters are completely linear, there is no character development, history or depth on any level. It's not even a B movie, it's a Z movie.There is nothing worth seeing here, absolutely shockingly bad.

OK ... i must say .... full moon ... whats going on with you guys ??? your turning into troma now ?!?!?!?!? OK the monster / alien/ mummy guy was cool looked great for alien mummy .... and the idea for the film was freaking great ...come on, mad doc using sexually over stimulated chicks for eternal youth experiments ??? and the mummy stumbles across them all ....nice .. i read the back and thought wow this will either be a great monster movie or a well thought out porno ..lol...well ...neither happened .... only one set of titties the whole show ... i think ... and if i cant remember them then what was the point of them being there to start with ?.... now im not sure but im thinking that full moon is just doing the troma idea now and buying other peoples films and distributing them under the name of the company ...well BAD IDEA FULL MOON PEOPLE !!!!!!!!!!! STOP IT !!!! OR YOU WILL SOON BE THE NEXT TROMA !!!!!!!!! and troma used to be great and would give you insane of the wall movies for your buck ...and now ..good god they just buy crappy films from film students that don't know whats going on half the time and slap it under a troma film ... when i heard full moon was back in business i was happy .... i loved the classics .... so i thought i would give it a shot and see what the new stuff was like ... well ... stick to the doll movies man ... and go back to making them yourself for the love of all things full moon ...please before its too late...(4), vocalist GOD IN A MACHINE

I have to start keeping a log of movies watched. If I've ever seen a worse film, I can't remember it. Utter ordure from beginning to end. I won't dignify it with with any analysis or description beyond that, except to say that there's a brief, hopeful moment when we learn that the setting is a "clinic for the treatment of nymphomania," but alas...I don't know what the other reviewer is drinking - I like bourbon, and the only way I can imagine liquor making this "film" any better is during that brief, fleeting moment of vivid hallucination (that we're watching some other movie, perhaps?) that comes right after hepatic shutdown, and just before irreversible coma.

Petrified is about an artifact that turns out to be an alien who comes back to life and turns some people to stone while draining others of blood. Then there's the hand from the Adams Family that creeps around strangling people. The movie is meant to be full of puns and wacky, as it takes place in a nymph hospital with a weird doctor trying to cure death using hormone therapy. A few drinks will make this film much better. Some continuity and dialog breaks made on the cheapest of budgets. If you're looking for a good film with a serious plot and screenplay, skip this one. If you're looking for a C film that's corny as hell, this is for you.