Don't Look In The Cellar (2008)

How did the sorority girls get into the asylum in the first place? Where were the guards, nurses, doctors, and other staff members? Why was there only one simple locked door and no deadbolt on the door? Seriously, the "asylum" is simply two residentially zoned homes spliced together on film to give the failed illusion of a large-size building.Um, if the sorority wannabes could open and close the "asylum" (honestly, it's painfully obvious that this place is just a residential home, duh) doors at will, what exactly was preventing the crazies from going in and out of the rooms?When the fake nurses ran out of the rooms, you could clearly see normal bedroom furniture behind them as they ran out. Fail!Why would the fake nurse in the blue shirt run down two flights of stairs to get out of the building when she knew perfectly well that the front door was straight down the hall? Also, the crazy guy warned her not to go into the cellar, but she went anyway. Why?Since when do colleges have end-of-period bells/buzzers? Seriously, that is not how ANY college marks time. College courses are NOT standardized by start or end times and are not of consistent duration. Please.... Obvious error.During the pool scene at the valley girls' house, what was that weird, deformed pink duck thing at the trunk of the tree? Odd....Excuse me?! Community college IS "real college." I am sick to death of hearing local, affordable colleges get slammed. The programs of study are held to the same rigorous accreditation standards as any other accredited school.Furthermore, since when do college professors offer extra credit? I thought this sucking-up tool ended with high school. I have never had an extra credit opportunity in college and I hold 5 degrees. How does an abandoned, closed asylum still have power?If someone lobbed your hand off, you would not die or pass out from the pain or blood loss for a long time. Seriously, whoever wrote this script did not do proper research into trauma or human anatomy and physiology.So, what's to stop Lindell from killing Wendell? This question needs to be addressed, because it's a really big plot hole (among the dozens of others).Residents of an asylum are NOT referred to as inmates or prisoners. Otherwise, the place would be an asylum for the criminally insane.Really, the gate code is 6666? How much more cliché can you get?Cheerleader valley girl is clearly breathing after she gets stabbed and should be dead.Why are the edges of the asylum map burned and artificially aged to look like a pirate map? The building isn't THAT old.Arbor Mist product placement. Then again, low budget films call for low budget alcohol.Yeah, abandoned buildings with crazy resident holdovers are totally scrubbed clean every day and are completely devoid of dust. Mm-hmm, yeah right. Like that's believable.If Smiley's smile on the burlap sack was actually drawn in blood, the color would be much darker and not a bright red. Again, failure to research.In the flashback scene about the rape, the hypodermic needle looks like a turkey baster,it's so unnaturally large. Wow, that's how it ends? Super lame.In summary, there are way too many plot holes, bad acting, bad editing, mistakes in continuity, and an excessive amount of exposition (by a crazy person no less).

My vote reflects the real quality of this movie, though I do have to say that it was that sort of horrible that actually encourages watching. I hate to make the train wreck analogy for fear of the cliché, but it crossed the line from horror to humorous within the first 10 minutes or so and that is one of the many varieties of cheap horror flick that keep me glued to the screen.The plot is at the same time simple to the point of boredom and yet strangely convoluted, and one of the film's few good points is that it does attempt to wrap up these loose ends rather neatly by the end. Unfortunately, the conclusion is weak and unsatisfying and it is almost impossible to take anything that happens seriously because the acting is about as bad as it gets without it ACTUALLY being a joke.The premise revolves around a group of community college students who spend the night at an abandoned insane asylum for an extra credit report for their local history course. Their professor planted the idea in their minds because of a lecture she had given about urban legends, and apparently the asylum has a pretty interesting legend. Unsurprisingly, a handful of the characters have a past that ties in with the asylum in an eye-rolling way and the overnight visit reveals these secrets.My favorite character had to be Wendel, if just for his absolutely stunning role as the insane man who stands in a room and tells a bunch of 30-something-actors-playing-20-something-college-students not to go into the cellar because there is a murderous psycho down there (and they subsequently do, without fail).Whatever. Point is, the acting is horrible, the story is horrible, the cinematography is so horrible it must have been intentional (so many dramatic ~angled up behind some woman's butt~ shots) but it all adds up to a mediocre dose of bad movie glee. Recommended for that reason if for nothing else.

That's seriously the agreement my boyfriend and I came to after watching this movie. The characters were terrible, the story was even worse. It was definitely shot in their houses, not only because they are clearly decorated like homes but also because if you look at the "asylum" you can see that someone forgot to move Mr. Fluffy's cat tower from right next to the freaking front door. I'm sure this was a college film but couldn't they put some effort into it? I mean, I'm sure they could have at least worn better clothes since most of them are pretending to be "rich kids" but apparently they decided to beg their local Goodwill store for things they wouldn't be able to sell. I watched it and felt bad for the failing grades they probably received.

I mean seriously, how the hell can this have cost $1.2 million? Surely they didn't pay any of the actors, because I'm fairly certain none of them had other work and would have paid for any film role.It doesn't look like they actually used any film. The costumes must have come from a charity shop (or did the actors bring their own?). I'm fairly certain the sets where essentially wherever they decided to get the camera out. Fake blood doesn't cost that much.Seriously, there is only one reason this film can have been made, and that is to try and make a clean sweep of the Raspberrys.It is terrible, terrible, terrible, on so many levels.OK, so I've given you the build up.Now go and watch it. It is so bad, it is side-splittingly hilarious.