The Unearthly (1957)

John Carradine's character, Dr. Conway, has a big problem in "The Unearthly." His experiments on a newly discovered synthetic gland keep going wrong, and as a result, all his human guinea pigs have been transformed into mutant critters that are now overcrowding his basement. We get to see this mutant collection at the end of the film, and it is both the funniest and most horrifying section of this surprisingly well-done little B picture. I say "surprising" only because most film books downplay this movie as hopeless shlock, but I found it to be fairly entertaining. Not too many unintentional laffs, and with fairly good acting, too, especially from Carradine and cult fave Allison "The 50 Foot Woman" Hayes. Tor Johnson, everyone's favorite lumbering mound of monstrous blubber, is also on hand, as Carradine's imbecilic helper, and his is always a welcome presence. Surprisingly, his character's name is Lobo...the same name he sported in Ed Wood's "Bride of the Monster"!!! This may very well be Tor's finest film...but when your other credits include "Plan 9 From Outer Space" and "The Beast of Yucca Flats," two of the worst ever, I suppose that's not saying too much. Compared to the other John Carradine "mad scientist" film that I saw recently, "The Astro-Zombies," "The Unearthly" is a little gem of script, acting and direction. Again, I suppose that's not saying too much. But the bottom line is, I really did have fun with this one. Give it a try!

This movie created a live MST3K moment during it's World Premiere run.The World Priemere was at the Roosevelt theater in Chicago. The top billed film was "Beginning of the End" (Yes, the one about the giant grasshoppers invading Chicago.) That this film got second billing should tell you something about this flick.If you've not read other reviews, John Carradine has created a synthetic gland that he thinks will give eternal youth. About halfway through the picture, he implants his eternal youth gland (Which looks suspiciously like a pulsating jalapeño pepper.) into Sally Todd and moves her to his moldy basement to recover.When they check on her later, instead of remaining eternally young, she's all wrinkled and shriveled up and looks about a hundred years old.At this point, someone waaaaay at the back of the balcony yelled out, "YA GOT IT IN UPSIDE DOWN!!!" It must have been at least five minutes before the laughter subsided and you could hear the movie again.

Oily, smarmy Charles Conway (John Carradine) is a mad scientist obsessedwith discovering the secret to immortality. In his isolated mansion deep in the heart of nowhere, he conducts sinister experiments on society's forgotten victims - lovely girls with no families for the most part, but also uncontrollable mental cases and escaped criminals. Assisted by icy Dr. Sharon and old puddin' head Lobo (the unforgettable Tor Johnson), Conway develops a super gland which,when surgically implanted into a beautiful young girl, will supposedly render her immortal, but which instead turns her into human beef jerky. The next victim in line is lovely Allison Hayes, who takes a break from playing bitchy vixens and 50 foot tall women to play the role of innocent and depressed Grace. Cansuper-manly handsome police stud Mark Houston save her in time?This is a very silly film with some pretty good acting. Arthur Batanides goes over the top in his role of hyper freak Danny, and Lobo lumbers around the set like a giant toddler, spouting such memorable lines as: "Time for go to bed!" JohnCarradine looks a little embarrassed by the whole thing, but they try to make the best of a bad, cheap situation. Allison Hayes is sweet and ultra-feminine as Grace, running around in see-through nighties, looking adoringly up at Markand sobbing a lot. Myron Healey seems to be wishing that he'd been DanaAndrews in "Laura," and does a halfway decent imitation as the street-smartdetective who gets the girl. The tension builders consist of a twitchy guy in a basement and John Carradine plays Bach on the organ over and over andOVER again to set the proper mood. If the mood was supposed to be restlessirritation, then I guess he succeeded. But really, this isn't a bad little film all in all. Fans of Ed Wood's brand of schlock may very well enjoy it, if only to see Tor Johnson playing - what else? - a big bald weirdo. On a scale of 10. I'd give it an even 5.

Surprisingly ok for a Mystery Science Theatre Movie. I have seen much worse. And the MST version was not really all that funny either although the shorts at the beginning make it worth seeing. ("Posture Pals" and "Appreciating Our Parents")