Ghoul School (1990)

"Ghoul School" is a crappy film. That's all there is to it. It's another home made film, trying to hard to be funny, and trying to become an instant cult classic in the horror community. Unfortunately, it lacks the comical values of Troma movies, or the sheer tastelessness of... Troma movies, or even the campy, DIY horror "classics" Camp Motion has released. This movie is instead a really, really, really crappy movie.The plot is about these kids who try to steal something from the school, but wind up releasing this chemical into the school's water supply. Yeah, it's similar to Class of Nuke 'em High, except that movie was awesome. So everyone starts turning into "ghouls", but not before the kick ass rock band (and they are rock, not metal as people have stated), who rock so hard, they don't have to play the instruments to rip! And notice how the drummer pounds away at nothing, a real Neil Peart! If you really want to laugh, watch the pool scene! The ghouls rip apart the swim coaches to reveal, the coaches are filled with green and blue balloons!!! Yup, the gore is that bad. This movie is a big joke, one that has no punchline.So, if the plot is terrible, the acting is garbage (at best), and the gore is comical, is there a redeeming value? No. No there is not. Watch this if you want to laugh, really hard, at a sad attempt at a horror movie.

Totally incoherent and utterly retarded piece of campy splatter horror garbage which makes the entire Troma repertoire – including their biggest embarrassments like "Class of Nuke 'Em High 2" and "Surf Nazis Must Die" – look like genuine cinematic masterpieces. Actually, since this high level of amateurishness can usually only be found in a Troma production, I initially assumed it was one of Lloyd Kaufman's films. Apparently it can even get worse, since "Camp Motion Pictures" specializes in releasing exclusively the worst Z-grade horror experiments, like "Splatter Farm", "Hollywood Chainsaw Hookers", "Video Violence", "Cannibal Campout" and – of course – this demented camp treasure entitled "Ghoul School". Two sniveling high school dropouts plot to rob the school janitor (why? I haven't got a clue) and accidentally cause a toxic chemical to get mixed with the school's water supply. The swimming team are the first ones to turn into green-faced flesh-eating zombies, and they promptly go after the rest of the present school populous, namely a duo of horror movie nerds, the members of a metal band and the world's worst basketball team. You'd think there will be at least some extreme gore and splatter to enjoy here, but no. "Ghoul School" is actually very boring with only a couple of messy disembowelment sequences to satisfy the gorehounds among us. The rest of the script (if you can call it that) features intentional jokes that aren't the least bit funny and more serious parts that are unintentionally hilarious. All the best scenes involve the members of the basketball team or their coach. Not a single player manages to score a point and their coach is unquestionably the teacher with the least authority ever. The acting performances are atrocious, or what else did you expect, and despite of the short running time there's still a lot of filler – like, for example, Jackie the Joke Man's terribly unfunny monologue.

OK, this film has its flaws, but you can't say it's not even fun! I've bought the "Super Bloody Splatter University" edition, released by Camp Motion Pictures: those guys are doing really a great job with their dvds (I'm collecting them all, maybe!) and I'd heavily suggest you to get a copy of Ghoul School, at least for the extras! There are four short films ("Say no to drugs" is my favourite) from the same authors of Ghoul School and a fantastic 1988 promo reel (why didn't they make the ALL film like that? it was awesome!) In the end, I was a little disappointed with the film in itself: poor editing and sound, some green blood (I hate it when it's not red! I hated it in Evil Dead's sequel too! I can't figure out it's only a way to avoid strong MPAA restrictions!.. At least it was just ghouls' blood: the people's was its real colour) and the film just ends like...WTF?! On the other hand, I'm glad to have chosen this edition (no, I don't work for them!..) and own this funny b-movie!

Definite Spoilers Ahead!When one thinks of strong female characters in cinema, one may think of Scarlet O'Hara, Ripley, or the lesbian from Boondock Saints. However, in this film, there exists another character, too often passed over, in the annals of strong female roles in film. I am, of course, referring to the role of Blade's girlfriend. I'm not sure what her name is...if they said it, I didn't pay attention. At any rate, her hair is a vibrant reddish-maroon: a mirror of the flame in her soul. She dresses in black from head to toe, spare a white bandanna wrapped around her leg. Is it a gang association? Unlikey. She is far too independent and rebellious a character to anchor herself down to any kind of affiliation. The exception, of course, lies in her unparalleled love for Blade, the lead singer of the Blood Sucking Ghouls. As a true illustration of how love conquers all, this punk-goth, in-her-late-30s rolling stone finally gathered some moss...moss meaning Blade...her boyfriend. It is in exploring this relationship that the director first commands respect for her. She makes it clear that she if she were in charge of the band, that that the band would be playing sold out venues, worldwide. I don't doubt it. Blade's amazing guitar ability (sometimes shredding when his hand isn't even on the strings or sometimes playing a variety of notes so fast that you would swear his right hand isn't moving)is only undermined by his poor ability as a business man. "I don't have a head for that," he would claim. But she knew that already. She let him know. Fierce. Cunning. She is the lion and the fox. Further into the movie, we see her risking her life to save the group by exploring a vent in the school. She goes it alone. She is offered a weapon. She declines. She doesn't need it. She is a women. She is the weapon. At the end of the film, we see her as the lone survivor. The last female standing. In her womanhood she has conquered death. Though her fate is uncertain, I have no doubts that she will overcome any obstacle. She is the the quintessential example of the strong female character. She is a goddess on earth. Best, EdWont