Way of the Vampire (2005)

I rate this hideous failure as 1/10 because there is no facility to rate 0/10. Some bad movies are so bad that they are funny, amusing. THIS movie is in a whole different category: it is painful to watch. As another reviewer stated: Any rating above 2/10 is fake. Yes, I agree. How it is possible for two reviewers to award 10/10 and 9/10, I do not know. Cast or crew members, or friends/relatives of them? Just fooling around? Trolls? Here they are: 9/10 Another gem in the long line of the Way Of series says "peterh-23" and 10/10 This is very scary reports "jacobjohntaylor1". What? HUH? Are you serious? A "gem"? "scary"? NO WAY.This is truly one of THE worst films I have ever seen, in decades of watching a few thousand flicks. I've reviewed many hundreds, here on IMDb and elsewhere. Horror films are one of my favourite genres, vampires in particular. To try to associate this crud with Bram Stoker is criminal imho; undoubtedly the title fooled many people, drew them in to buying this puerile nonsense.Everything about this "motion picture" is dreadful. The acting is abysmal, just unbelievable. Denise Boutte in particular comes across as an 8-year old reading a script for the first time. Hard to put into words how awful her acting is; one of the very few times words do indeed fail me. A new low has been reached with the creation of this garbage. The violence is a joke, but not amusing. The ending, though mindless, was a blessed relief. Avoid it, don't watch it. I certainly regret that I wasted even one minute on it.

So, every time this turkey flies, the people that made it get money? That's just not right. Another reviewer saw it on Sci-Fi 2 years ago; that's where I saw it today. Hey, Sigh-Fie, that's enough! The dialog is truly brain-dead; my kid put more thought into her Jr-high book reports. Take a concept with potential, turn it into deadly- dull dialog for an incompetent screen play and you have a movie not worth anyone's time.In fact, I couldn't watch it all. About 40 minutes in, I turned it off to read the reviews here, curious whether anyone could find redeeming value. Uhh, not really. I agree with the reviewer who said anything more than 2 stars is fake. I did watch the last 5 minutes or so and that's why I'm going to check the *spoiler* box, though I don't think any reviewer comments could spoil this sack of cynicism.The final fight scene is like the worst pro-wrestling you've ever seen: they had to slow down the fight so they could get all the lines said. And the last scene had the head vampire lady, who had been non-fatally stabbed in the gut, turn away from the camera to pull out the blade, then turn back to the camera for a final roar, showing a sexy, unblemished tummy.Speaking of cameras, I bet that most, probably all, this was done with one camera. When they move from wide scene to closeup and back, the action doesn't match up. I could almost hear someone yell "freeze" while they brought the camera up to watch the nurse struggle in her bonds, then cut back and she wasn't moving at all. Same with some closeup snarls and fight-scene detritus.Oh, I did think the lighting was interesting; not especially good, but interesting.

Without a doubt, there are reviews on here from the filmmakers or friends. Or maybe just backyard filmmakers who feel they need to cut some slack. This is soooo bad it looks like it was made in the back yard with a consumer camcorder. On camera mics used, lighting, script, editing, directing, etc - All 100% armature. This is not a B movie. Its a Z movie. The actors are not actors. They cant even think they are. I've seen shorts made by groups of friends goofing around with 10 times the film-making skills. Nobody on this project had the slightest clue what they were doing. Well, maybe the food was good, I can speak on that. Its beyond description. If its on TV, watch 10 minutes. You will find it hard to turn away its so poorly done.Some quotes in reviews that are just absurd:"Has potential" - No, it doesn't. With this group of filmmakers, it has no potential"Good cinematography" - PLEASE, they didn't even use white balance before shooting. Not only is it not good cinematography, the guy doesn't even know how to use a camera! "there was some halfway decent blood and gore here" - No, the effects and blood were equal to a childs Halloween costume. Here's a quote that is bang on: "So Incredibly bad it's beyond description !!!," Its true. We read so many times how bad a movie is we get desensitized to the expression. This IS really that bad.A first for me, but I need the option to vote zero. 1 is much too high

I really miss watching horror movies, just a good and gory film that you can just have fun with. I saw the cover for Way of the Vampire, I mean this was just the coolest cover, it looked like a great cover with vampire hunters. So I rented it and took it home, sat down and watched it first thing, I don't know why I get my hopes up with these straight to DVD's. As always these movies are just bad, the script(which obviously had no research), the actors(who you can tell are the desperate waiters in LA, waiting for their "big break"), the effects(which could've been done by a 10 year old I know who's much better with computers), the editing(I think the editor, this must have been his first time because he went a little crazy), just everything about this movie is bad, but I'll try to explain the story.Van Helsing is given immortality to hunt down the vampire "princes" after the love of his life is turned into a vampire and he has killed her. So over a hundred years later he has lived to try to catch one vampire, Sebastien. He's got a new girlfriend at the hospital, but cannot find the prince, so when Sebastien is awaken by his vampire girlfriend to create an army of darkness, oh, what will our Van Helsing do? I guess get stung by a wasp who does apparently die by one sting, lol.Way of the Vampire is just one of those bad straight to DVD's that really sucks, believe me, I can't believe I fell for it, I know that I sometimes say that the ratings are wrong here on IMDb, but this is the rating I really wished I paid attention to the rating because I might have saved some time and money on this trash. Just trust me when I say that this is one of the worst excuses for film that you'll ever see in your life, it's worse than amateur, I just don't know how else to go on but to just warn you to stay away from this piece of trash.1/10