Rat Man (1988)

Inspired by a song written by the Fall on their Totales Turns album, Ratman is a late era Italian horror thankfully devoid of haunted houses, but unthankfully full of boring stalk and slash sequences. A scientist on some tropical island has successfully managed to get a rat to breed with a monkey, somehow, and produced a rat monkey capable of poisoning anything it scratches within seconds. This creature of course has escaped and is now chowing down on anything it can get it's teeth into.This includes the bunch of fashion models led by Werner Pochtath (Days of Hell, Cat o Nine Tails), and his main model, Eva Grimaldi (Demons 5). After another model is stalked and killed and mistaken for Eva, her sister Janet Agren (Eaten Alive) goes looking for her, helped by legend David Warbreck (The Last Hunter, The Black Cat). And basically the film turns into Warbreck and Agren doing the old research on what's happening, and Eva trying to avoid being killed for the remainder of the film. Kind of like Tonino Ricci's Panic, also starring Warbreck and Agren. Directed by Guilliamno Carnimeo (director of the great Case of the Bloody Iris and numerous Westerns I've never got round to watching) Ratman is full of cheese, but it's also full of boobs and gore, so really, where do your priorities lie? This one doesn't go down the old haunted house road as a lot films do from this era, but on the other hand it becomes quite slasher-tastic in the old 'folks trying to hide from a killer' routine. I have the hiccups. It's really annoying. Really annoying. My wife has a remedy for it but she's in bed. Forget this film/ Do you have the hiccups? I hate the hiccups. Makes my stomach hurt from##jpepw;/ O cast/muppets

Seriously fun little Italian sleazefest by former spaghetti western director Anthony Ascott. His "Sartana" films were filled with nifty little gimmicks, gizmos, devices, contraptions and bizarre cinematic flourishes that set the films apart from the pack. Here his little wind up gimmick is a despicable marvel of exploitation monster mania that must be witnessed to be believed. Watching the poor little rat man claw apart the half naked female supporting players is where the heart of the film lies. It delivers the goods, doesn't apologize about what it is & gets the job over with a bit of style in under 85 minutes. None of it is really scary but a lot will make your flesh crawl, and probably laugh.One idea that keeps coming to mind is about how the film is a study in applied bad taste right down to the wince inducing use of a real life deformed person in a freakshow role. Such things cannot be enjoyed in good conscience without beer which is used in the presence of friends: It's a howler of a party movie and a guilty pleasure to be enjoyed at times when you just want to marvel at how absurd the human species can be. I don't defend this movie for a minute but I sure am in awe of it, which in some cases will have to do.7/10

So bad it's literally BRILLIANT, this ultra-low budgeted Italian trash-production spawns one of the most unlikely and absurd monsters in the history of horror-cinema ever! Dr. Olben's creation Ratman is a genetic crossover between a rat and a monkey and somehow it's able to produce a deadly venom for which there exists no antidote. Even crazier than the creature itself is Dr. Olben's conviction that his entirely pointless genetic breakthrough will gain him a Nobel Price! Why the hell would the scientific world be interested in a rat-monkey hybrid with absolutely no positive characteristics? Moreover, the little bastard is mean-spirited as hell and continuously escapes from Olben's lab and onto a nearby village where he aggressively feasts on the bodies of gorgeous fashion models. One of the missing girls' sisters teams up with fictional novelist David Warbeck – dressed in a ridiculous Hawaian shirt – to investigate her whereabouts. They discover the abandoned laboratory where Ratman cheerfully ran some amok and return home with more than they bargained for. "Ratman" is one bizarre and provocative Italian B-movie. The plot is rubbish and the acting performances are weak, but the hideous monster is genuinely creepy and menacing. All thanks to Nelson de la Rosa, officially the smallest man on the planet, who wasn't too proud to exploit his awkward appearance for the sake of trashy cinematic entertainment. His short stature is mostly impressive, but also the rest of his make-up is rather effective, like his pointy teeth, hairy face and penetrating eyes. If only director Giuliano Carnimeo had a slightly better script to work with, "Ratman" easily could have been one of the last truly great shockers to come out of Italy. Carnimeo surely already knew how to build up tension (the music is great and the set pieces are dark & unsettling) and the murders are reasonably gory, but the dialogs are simply too inept. As to be expected, the film also features lots of redundant and totally gratuitous nudity, like the shower sequence in which Eva Grimaldi extendedly shows off her perfect measurements. You got to love how the Italians tried everything possible to please their gore & sex-addicted fans! The ending of this crazed flick is very abrupt and laughable, hinting at a sequel that – if it would have been made – would have predated the concept of the 2006 blockbuster "Snakes on a Plane" with nearly 20 years! Can you image "Ratman 2: Hybrids on a Plane"? That would have been awesome! Even though it would be a crime against all the rules of good taste to call "Ratman" a good film, it's definitely still recommended to all the avid collectors of Italian horror cinema. It's nearly unavailable on DVD and you even have to move heaven and earth to obtain a halfway decent copy on VHS or bootleg DVD-R. That alone defines a gem!

Nelson De La Rosa is absolutely horrifying in his portrayal of a half human / half rat beast that preys on showering women with nice Italian boobs. This movie is a must-have for any true cultivist.Imagine your flesh ripped by sharp claws on the end of little crazy straw arms, teeth gnawing at your face, blood pouring while your unsuspecting girlfriend showers in the adjacent room, unknowingly flashing bits of flesh... just enough to be torn to shreds.Any fan of Nelson's should see this movie! You may know Nelson from some of his other popular characters such as The Little Dancing Man, Mahow Mahow, his role in The Island of Dr. Moreau, and various Dominican television shows... and more recently as the Red Sox good luck charm that broke the Bambino's Curse... for real.See this movie.